Definition Rants

This page is devoted to comments (call them rants if you want) of misuses of words or phrases.

FREE: Free means free, no charge, no strings attached, it's free & everybody is entitled to receive it while the supply lasts, you don't have to do anything special as far as cost to get it other than except it as a FREE gift. For example air is FREE, but few other things in life are actually FREE. Sometimes promotional items give away something for "FREE" to entice you to purchase a product or service, but it isn't really FREE if you have to buy something to get it, it's a BONUS but it's not FREE. It's only FREE when you can get it regardless of whether you buy something or not. What really bothers me these days is all the regular products & services we buy that INCLUDE a BUNDLE of services tied together, but companies frequently tell you some of these features are FREE. For example, e-mail accounts that come with every Internet Service Provider account package, are often advertised as FREE, but they are INCLUDED or BUNDLED IN, not FREE. If ISP e-mail accounts really were FREE, then you could get them FREE from your local ISP without having to purchase access to the internet. Basic Hotmail e-mail IS actually FREE, you don't have to pay for the service, it is supported by advertising. Now this may seem like semantics, so let me explain. Companies these days are intentionally advertising parts of a package as FREE, so they have no responsibility for it when it doesn't perform properly. My ISP (Execulink) had their e-mail server broken for over 3 days so I couldn't access my e-mail, but when I asked for a refund for services not provided, they told me there would be no refund because the e-mail accounts they provided were FREE. I've heard the same argument (excuse) used from various companies when they advertise FREE customer support. The reality is that if companies don't supply customer support when their product breaks down within the warranty period, or breaks down for a service, then you won't deal with them. Customer support is expected to be INCLUDED to keep a service going that you are paying an ongoing fee for, it is not FREE it's INCLUDED. They are not giving you something for nothing when they are giving you FREE customer support on a service, they are keeping it working so they can continue to invoice you for the service. In Canada we are told we have FREE health care for all citizens, but is it really FREE? Canadians have one of the highest tax bases in the world, we do pay heavily through our taxes for that FREE health care system, so it isn't FREE at all, it's part of a socialistic health care system insurance that we all pay for one way or another based on an ability to pay. What we have is "universal health care access" that we pay dearly for, not "FREE health care" that our benevolent government gives to us without cost from funds they get somewhere other than Canadians. Given how broken our Canadian health care system is, I've actually heard people say, "well what do you expect, it's FREE". FREE should not become an excuse for poor service, or to weasel out of the responsibility to deliver a proper service or product that is paid for in a package. First posted May 22/2007

SELF-ESTEEM & SELF-WORTH: These two terms are frequently used incorrectly & interchanged, but they really are not the same thing, they are quite different & we all should learn to use them in the correct ways. Maybe it seems like I'm being too precise, but consider that we have an epidemic in our society of people with low self-worth, yet most of us don't even know that & most of us think we can prop up low self-worth by things that related to self-esteem (outside things that make us look good in other people's eyes). Allow me to illustrate by defining the two terms & you will see how to use the terms properly.

SELF-ESTEEM Definition: Conditional love of ourselves or ego-strength, based on externally validated temporary sources. Self-esteem is the need for respect from others. Respect from others entails recognition, acceptance, status, and appreciation. Psychologists believe that "self-esteem" depends on external validation of the self (or other people's approval). Self esteem is conditional love, loving someone only if the person meets certain conditions. Self-esteem is your strengths and weaknesses as you think others would perceive them. Self-esteem is your social status and how you relate to others. Looks, talent, intelligence, these are external manifestations of our being which are gifts to be celebrated, but they do not define us or dictate if we have self-worth. Outside influences (people, places, things, money, property, and prestige) are external manifestations (looks, talent, intelligence) can not fill the hole within. They can distract us and make us feel better temporarily, but they cannot address the core issue, they cannot fulfill us spiritually. They can give us ego-strength (or self-esteem) but they cannot give us self-worth. Self-esteem is the job you do. Your achievements. How you think others see you. Your purpose in life. Your place or position in the world. Your potential for success. High self-esteem is contingent upon success. Self-esteem is a consequence of the sum of an individual's choices in using their consciousness to look good in the eyes of other people. Self-esteem is assessed in terms of particular conditions being met. Esteem and respect are linked to status in the social hierarchy. Self-esteem is ego-strength. "In a Co-dependent society anyone with low self-worth has to have someone to look down on in order to feel positively (self-esteem) about him/herself. This is the root of all bigotry, racism, sexism, and prejudice in the world." Narcissism is related to excessive levels of self-esteem and a devaluation of others.

SELF-WORTH DEFINITION: Unconditional love of ourselves (not the narcissism type), based on internally validated permanent or semi-permanent sources. Self-worth is unconditional self-love, meaning loving our selves "no matter what". Often good self-worth is formed or not in our childhood by our caregivers reinforcing to us that we are worthy human beings just because we exist & are precious. Self-worth can be lowered or destroyed as adults by crossing our own personal core boundaries (e.g. having an affair outside our intimate relationship). Unconditional self-worth is not dependent upon who we are, what we do, what we have, or what anyone else thinks about us. True self-worth comes from internally satisfied sources, such as self responsibility, self sufficiency, self respect and the knowledge of one's own competence and capability to deal with obstacles, adversity & opinions, regardless of what other people think. Self-worth is an overall measure of how much we value ourselves and give priority to our own needs and happiness. True self-worth does not come from looking down on anyone or anything. True self-worth does not come from temporary conditions. No one outside of you can define for you what your Truth is (your core values & self-worth). Our self-worth is a measure of our unconditional self-love. Self-worth is self-respect or self-regard for one's core moral beliefs. First posted May 22/2007

By Doug Hembruff.