You Are Our Guest The Hoser
Section E
Good day, and welcome to our show, eh?

You Are Our Guest

Good day, all you hosers. Get our album, eh? It's titled Bob & Doug McKenzie, eh? So, go down to your local record shop (or CD shop now), and buy it. Then go to track 13 and You Are Our Guest.

Bob:You Are Our Guest. G'day, and...
Doug:Coo roo coo coo, coo coo coo coo
Bob:Oh, sorry...
Doug:Coo roo coo coo, coo coo coo coo
Bob:Sorry. So g'day. Welcome to You Are Our Guest.
Doug:It's a new show, eh? And like it was my idea.
Bob:Aw, take off! Okay, so I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my brother Doug.
Doug:How's it going, eh?
Bob:Okay, so what you do is, you take the album where it's got this written down, eh? You follow it along and You Are Our Guest.
Bob:And like, there's even a chair here for you.
Doug:But like, there's no one in it, eh? So like you're not really our guest, eh?
Bob:Geez hosehead, will you stop blowing everything?
Doug:Okay, eh?
Bob:Okay, so g'day! C'mon up here, sit down. Welcome.
SFX:Sitting in chair.
YOU:G'day, how's it going?
Bob:Pretty good. So this is the first on the show, eh?
Bob:You're not nervous, eh?
YOU:No Bob, I'm pretty comfortable.
Bob:Can I get you a beer, or back bacon?
YOU:No thanks Bob, I just ate. Say, you guys like my toque?
Bob:Yeah, it's a beauty.
YOU:Doug, don't you like my toque?
Bob:Hey, hoser...
Bob:Our guest asked you a question.
Doug:There's nobody here but me and you hosehead.
YOU:Excuse me, can I say something?
Bob:Oh so now you're talking to our guest, eh hoser?
Doug:Okay, but only cuz he tricked me, eh?
YOU:Listen you hosers, the only reason I came on this show was to tell you guys that the idea of having me as your guest is stolen.
Bob:It was his idea.
Doug:Take off, it was not!
YOU:Look, I don't care which one of you hosers ripped it off but it's been done before. On other albums, on TV shows. And all you've proven by doing this is that you're a couple of hosers.
Bob:Yeah, well you're a hoser for going along with it this far.
Doug:Yeah, and because like you're doing it with us that makes you a theif too, eh?
YOU:Take off! I am not!
Bob:Yeah, well you take off!
YOU:Okay hosers, that does it. I'm never coming on this show again. You guys deserve each other. But you don't deserve me! G'day!
SFX:Chair and footsteps.
Bob:Wait! Give us one more chance.
YOU:Take off!
SFX:Door slam.
Doug:Oh, nice going. Look what you did!
Bob:What I did? You did it! You stole the idea.
Doug:No, I thought of it too, eh! It must have been like a coincidence. You want me to go get your guest back?
Bob:Forget it.