August, 2005 The Hoser Weather: It's really hot this month and everyone's got their air conditioners on full blast right so do your part to conserve power and go down to the Beer Store eh and buy lots of beer so there's less for them to keep cool and then you also have an excuse to keep the air conditioner in the van on during the ride back, eh!
Vol. 8, No. 11

Mexican Night

by Doug McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobOkay, good day, I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my brother Doug.
DougHow's it goin', eh?
BobAw! We gotta start over, eh!
DougHuh? What for?
BobCause the topic this month is Mexican Night.
DougOh, right.
BobSo, uh. Buenos días, I'm Bob McKenzie... no! José McKenzie, and this is my brother Pablo.
BobYeah! I mean: Sí!
DougDon't get confused, eh! I'm really Doug McKenzie and he's really Bob. He just thinks he's Mexican now cause we went through the drive-thru at Taco Bell to get dinner.
BobTake off! I'm José!
DougShouldn't that be written with the upside-down exclamation mark?
Bob¿You mean like this?
DougWell, that's a question mark but yeah.
BobSo anyway, we got some burritos and tacos but we didn't order any drinks. We got those at the Beer Store.
DougAs usual.
BobSo here's some Mexican beer. (looks at bottle) Cerveza.
DougWho's he?
BobHuh? He who?
DougSir Veza!
BobWhat the? No, look! (hands Doug the bottle and points) Cerveza.
DougOh, what's that mean?
BobBeer, I think.
DougAh, so when we're in Mexico we can order some.
BobDo they have Beer Stores there?
DougNo, I think they sell it at Taco Bell.
BobTaco Bell?!
BobIn Mexico?
DougWell there's Kentucky Fried Chicken places in Kentucky, I don't see why they can't have a Taco Bell in Mexico.
DougYeah, I'm gonna try this taco. (takes a bite) Tastes beauty to me!
BobGimme that!
DougNo way, get your own!
BobHoser. (removes a burrito from the paper bag and takes a bite) Wow, that's pretty good. You know what would be good on these?
DougWhat, guacamole?
BobI bet you can't spell that.
DougOh yeah! I'll bet a beer! A Sir Veza!
BobOkay, go for it.
BobYou lose. (takes the beer from in front of Doug)
DougWhat? How do you know?
BobSee, it says so on the little packet. (shows Doug)
BobSo you know what would be good on these?
DougWhat's that?
BobBack bacon.
DougNo way, take off. That's Canadian.
BobSo? It'd still taste good.
DougYeah, probably. And cheese. With a bun instead of a tortilla. And no beef or beans.
BobI think you just reinvented the back bacon on a bun sandwich.
DougYeah, and we'll sell it at our own fast food place.
BobYeah, McKenzie's. Billions and billions served.
DougHi, kids! I'm Ronald McKenzie!
BobOh no! It's the Beerburglar!
DougRobble-robble! (takes his beer back from Bob)
Bob(looks down) Hey wait a minute.
Doug(finishing his taco) Geez, these are really good.
BobYeah, we gotta have Mexican night more often.
DougThere's a lot of beans on these, though.
BobI know, they're gonna...
SFXfarting noises
BobAARRGGHH!! GEEZ! (pulls shirt over face)
Doug(amused look on face) What? Oh geez! (pulls his own shirt over his face)
BobWhat'd you do that for?
DougIt wasn't me, it was the beans!
Bob(waving his arms around) I'm gettin' out. That's the show for this month. Hopefully the house gets aired out before the next one. Good day. (gets up and takes Doug's beer)
DougGood day. Oh man. (pulls his shirt back down and sniffs the air) OH GEEZ!


by Bob and Doug McKenzie

Okay, good day, we got some real good news for you! The show we were first on, SCTV, is out on DVD now, eh! Like now there's three volumes out, covering the whole fourth season when we did our best work! And the fourth volume comes out next month, so take back your empties so you can afford to buy them, eh!