| March, 2003 |  |
Weather: Okay, so like this whole issue is about the weather, so read it instead of this, eh! Take off! Go down to read the articles! Stop reading the weather part! |
|---|---|---|
| Vol. 6, No. 6 |
| March, 2003 | |
Weather: Okay, so like this whole issue is about the weather, so read it instead of this, eh! Take off! Go down to read the articles! Stop reading the weather part! |
|---|---|---|
| Vol. 6, No. 6 |
by Doug McKenzie, Editor 
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor 
| Bob | Okay, so like, what's with the weather we're havin' lately, eh? |
|---|---|
| Doug | Wha? Aren't you gonna start off like normal? |
| Bob | Huh? Oh yeah. Good day, I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my brother Doug! |
| Doug | COO-ROO-COO-COO-COO-ROO-COO-COO!!!!! |
| Bob | GEEZ! What the?!?! |
| Doug | COO-ROO-COO-COO-COO-ROO-COO-COO!!!!! |
| Bob | What was that for? We're on the Internet, not on the air! |
| Doug | Oh yeah. Geez. Sorry, eh! |
| Bob | So anyway, what's with this weather, eh? Like I don't know where all the hosers who read this live, but if any of them are in like this half of Canada or maybe even the northen part of the States, then like you know what I'm talking about, eh? |
| Doug | Yeah, like it's the beginning of March but like it's real cold out so stay inside and don't go out, even to go to work. |
| Bob | Yeah, stay home from work. |
| Doug | Unless you work at the donut shop, cause like maybe it'll get warmer, eh? And like then we'll go out and want some donuts right but then when we get to the donut place then like you won't be there and then your boss will be mad at you, eh? |
| Bob | Same with the beer store. |
| Doug | Yeah. Go to work if you work at the beer store or the donut place. Otherwise stay home. |
| Bob | Beauty. |
| Doug | Thanks, eh? |
| Bob | Okay, is that it? |
| Doug | Um, I think so. |
| Bob | That's not enough for an article. |
| Doug | Okay, eh? Like maybe you want to explain why it's so cold then, eh? |
| Bob | Wha? No way! |
| Doug | Yeah! Folks, this is my hosehead brother... Doctor Bob McKenzie! He's like a professor of meteorology or something, eh! |
| Bob | Of what? |
| Doug | Meteorology! |
| Bob | What's that, like the study of meteors, or what? |
| Doug | No, like rain and stuff, you moron. |
| Bob | Oh, so I'm like a professor of weather forecasting, then? |
| Doug | Something like that. |
| Bob | Beauty. Okay, so I'm Doctor Bob, and here's why it's so cold. |
| Doug | Go. |
| Bob | There's like an arctic low movin' in over like Lethbridge, eh? But then like here comes a... pretend I've got one of those screens, eh? Like I'm standing in front of it and it shows like a map... |
| Doug | Yeah, yeah. Go, eh! |
| Bob | Okay, like a map and here's the, uh... Gulf of Mexico... |
| Doug | That's like the name of the golf course in Mexico. |
| Bob | Take off. Here's a warm front movin' in from the Gulf of Mexico and it's comin' in. Look out, arctic low! |
| Doug | Uh oh. |
| Bob | And like they collide right over our hose here. |
| Doug | Our hose? |
| Bob | Geez. Our house, hoser. |
| Doug | You can't even talk! How'd you become a weatherman? |
| Bob | Well, you gave me the job, eh! So anyway, here's where they meet, right over our house, and like that's where the cold weather comes from. |
| Doug | Okay, now that made absolutely no sense. |
| Bob | It didn't? |
| Doug | Yeah. Did you make that up? |
| Bob | Yeah! I guess all those years of watching the Weather Network while we were drinking paid off, eh! |
| Doug | Yeah, like maybe not, eh! I'm rescinding your degree! You're no longer a meteorologist! |
| Bob | Rescinding?!?! What are you, an English major now? |
| Doug | Yeah, maybe! |
| Bob | You hardly speak the language! |
| Doug | Better than you! |
| Bob | Take off. |
| Doug | You take off. |
| Bob | Yeah, well you're a hoser! |
| Doug | So are you! |
| Bob | Geez. |
| Doug | Hey, look out the window! |
| Bob | Wha? It better not be snowing, eh! |
| Doug | No, look! It's starting to melt! |
| Bob | Let's go get some donuts! |
| Doug | Sounds like a plan. Good day, eh! |
| Bob | Good day. |
![[CCIC]](../ccic.png) | CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION. |
|---|
The Hoser |
|
BobNET NewsMy main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie. |
Contact BobSend me your questions or comments about anything on the site to codorjan@gmail.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about. |
Copyright ©1997-2003 Chris "Bob" Odorjan