July, 2003 The Hoser Weather: So now like a politician is saying that gas barbecues are polluting the atmosphere so like the better thing for the environment right is to start up the van and use the engine block to cook food eh!
Vol. 6, No. 10

Medicinal Marijuana and Medicinal Beer

by Doug McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobGood day, I'm Bob McKenzie and this is my brother Doug!
DougHow's it goin', eh?
BobOkay, we heard that marijuana, like pot, eh, is now decriminalized in Canada. So like that means you get a ticket instead of getting charged.
DougBut like why is pot suddenly okay, but beer isn't?
DougMarijuana is legal but beer isn't. Didn't you know that?
BobWhat are you talking about? Beer is legal!
DougOh yeah? Then how come we gotta hide it in the tool shed?
BobWe're not hiding it from the cops, you nobk. We're hiding it from dad!
DougHuh? Really?
BobYeah, otherwise he'd drink it on us.
DougWell now I look like a big idiot, eh?
BobYou always did.
DougAnyway, so much for that topic.
BobNo, we can still talk about it.
DougOh yeah, what?
BobOkay, you know how they say pot is good for like some diseases right? Like glaucoma or whatever?
DougYeah, medicinal marijuana. So what?
BobSo how come you never hear about medicinal beer?
DougCause like it hasn't been invented yet!
BobIt has now. Say like Doug here has a headache. What should he take for it?
DougUh. Beer?
BobYeah, beer. Cause then like if you drink enough beers then you won't feel the headache anymore.
DougBut what happens when I wake up in the morning and not only have a headache from the hangover, but also the same headache I had the night before?
BobDrink more beer!
BobAnd say you got a cold, right? Like those cough drops you take, they got alcohol in them.
DougAnd so does beer.
BobRight, so like drink beer cause it tastes better than the cough drops.
DougThat's a good one. Let me try.
BobOkay, go.
DougSo like you make burgers or whatever but then like your neighbour finds out you were using his barbecue and chases you away and so you eat the half-cooked burgers anyway but then get food poisoning eh so like next time it happens you drink lots of beer before so the bacteria and stuff gets killed by the alcohol.
BobThat's amazing. Did it work?
DougI puked, but I think it was from the beer.
DougI know.
BobSo anyway, that's the topic for this month. Good day, and make sure you keep a beer in your first aid kit, you never know when you might need on for medicinal purposes.
DougKeep two beers in your first aid kit, just in case.
BobYeah. Okay.
BobGood day.
DougGood day, eh!
BobHey, hand me a beer, will ya?
DougSure. (reaches in case and removes beer)
Bob(twists off the cap) Ah, geez.
BobI scraped my finger on the bottle cap!
DougBetter take some medicinal beer for that!
BobBeauty! (chugs beer)