April, 2002 The Hoser Weather: Because the ice and snow and stuff is melting the ground is heaving and there's lots of potholes, eh, so watch out for them. They knock hubcaps and mufflers off cars, so when you find a pothole, check the side of the road for some free stuff, eh?
Vol. 5, No. 7

April Fool's Doug

by Bob McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobGood day, and welcome to the Hoser. I'm Bob McKenzie and this is... um, Doug's out getting us some more beer right now, so we're gonna play an April fool's joke on him. So this month's topic is, um, April Fools I guess. Ok, so here's our last beer, and I'm gonna drink it.
YouThat's a lame gag, Bob.
BobYeah, yeah. I'm gonna replace it with water.
YouOh, okay, then.
Bob(leaves room and fills bottle in the sink then returns) Ok, this is a good one, eh? (puts cap on bottle)
SFXdoor opening
Doug(walking in with a full case) Hey, am I late? (sits down)
BobNo, I was just about to start without you, eh?
DougDon't do that! There's no beer left!
BobI saved one for you, eh?
DougOh, thanks.
BobOk, ready?
DougYeah, let's go.
BobGood day, and welcome to the Hoser. I'm Bob McKenzie and this is my brother Doug.
DougHow's it goin', eh? (opens beer)
BobUm, it's goin' pretty good, eh?
Doug(takes swig) ACK! What the?!?!
DougWater!? YOU HOSER!
BobHA HA! April Fool, Doug!
DougTake off! You're always hosin' me with my beer. (grabs new beer from case next to him)
BobOk, hand me one too, eh?
DougNo way, eh? You drank my beer and replaced it with water.
BobAw c'mon. It's April Fool's day.
DougUm, okay, then. (takes beer out and hands it to Bob)
BobWha? You're not gonna argue?
DougNaw, like you said, it's April Fool's day.
BobYou didn't shake it up, did you?
DougNo, open it. It's fine.
BobNo way, hand me another one.
DougGeez, you don't believe me.
BobNo I don't!
DougFine, here's your beer. (gives him another bottle)
BobThanks. (twists cap off)
SFXbeer spraying over Bob
DougI was hoping you'd do that! April Fool!
BobWhat was that? Revenge for all the beerhunter games you lost?
DougNo, that was revenge for the water in my beer. I heard you talking to the reader before I came in the room and shook that one up.
BobGeez. You hoser. I guess this one's okay, then. (twists cap off his original beer)
SFXmore beer spraying over Bob
DougThat was revenge for beerhunter.
BobTake off you hoser!

SCTV Airings

by Bob and Doug McKenzie

Ok, right now SCTV is only on in Canada on the Comedy Network. If you like live in the states, then you're hosed, eh? They were showing it, but now it's gone, so you're gonna have to watch it on tape or imagine it's still on or whatever. But if you live in Canada, then you should be watching the episodes, eh! Cause like it might go off the air here sometime too. Either way, go check the SCTV News page or SCTV: On The Air! to find the air times, or in case something changed, eh?!