|December, 2001||Weather: The weather lately has been warmer than normal. So don't wear earmuffs cause like you don't need them and you won't be able to hear the radio in the van, eh?|
|Vol. 5, No. 3|
by Doug McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor
|Bob||Good day, and welcome to the Hoser. I'm Bob McKenzie and this is my brother Doug.|
|Doug||How's it goin', eh?|
|Bob||Okay, now most of our regular readers are gonna be real surprised, but we drank too much beer.|
|Doug||You drank too much beer.|
|Bob||Hey, you were sick too, eh?|
|Doug||At least I didn't puke!|
|Bob||Yeah, well, you almost did. Anyway, tell them why we drank so much.|
|Doug||Okay, the fridge in our garage, right? The "beer" fridge? It's hosed, eh? Busted! It stopped working!|
|Bob||Yeah, something broke down and all our beer started to warm up. There were three cases of two-four in there, and we didn't want to waste them. So, like, we drank 18 beers each, or something like that.|
|Doug||I had more, I think.|
|Doug||So I just thought of something.|
|Doug||So who cares if the beer warms up? We could just put a few in the fridge in the house when we want some cold ones, eh?|
|Bob||The one in the house's always been busted.|
|Doug||Then what's it doing... wait a minute. Where'd you get this back bacon from?|
|Bob||The garage. It's cold enough in there that it won't go... uh oh.|
|Bob||Um... you know we could have just left the door to the fridge open?|
|Doug||Folks, our garage isn't heated, eh? Which some hoser apparently forgot, eh?|
|Bob||You forgot, too!|
|Bob||Hey, we couldn't leave the door open. The light would stay on, and the beer would still warm up.|
|Doug||Uh, how do you know the light isn't always on?|
|Bob||Cause when the door's only open part way, you can see it go off.|
|Doug||Yeah, but how do you know it doesn't come on again?|
|Bob||Um... wow! Hey! You're just trying to mess with my mind, eh?|
|Doug||Yeah, I know.|
|Bob||Ok, so we didn't have to drink that beer.|
|Doug||No. But we would have anyway.|
|Bob||Oh, yeah. Hey, I bet I know why the fridge broke!|
|Bob||It's too cold!|
|Doug||Take off! A fridge too cold? You're a hoser.|
|Bob||It might be the reason. You didn't come up with one.|
|Doug||Yeah, I think it has something to do with you opening and closing the door to grab a beer every fifteen minutes during the day.|
|Bob||Take off! So anyway folks, to finish the topic, if you have a fridge in the garage, turn it off in the winter so it doesn't blow up.|
|Doug||No, the beer blows up in the winter. The fridge just broke.|
|Bob||Ok, whatever. Turn the fridge in the garage off.|
|Doug||Yeah. Turn it off! Take off!|
|Bob||You take off!|
Don't forget about our annual Christmas insert to The Hoser, which is the same every year. Go read The Twelve Days of Christmas, eh?
Good day, eh? NBC is still showing SCTV in the former "Later" timeslot, which is usually Monday to Thursday, 1:35am to 2:05am. Check your listings, and find out when it's on. Who knows what episodes will be on, but maybe we'll be there, eh?
The Comedy Network in Canada is also showing two different syndicated episodes a day, and maybe they're in order, too. Check out the SCTV page and the SCTV News page for more info, eh?
|CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION|
THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.
My main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie.
Send me your questions or comments about anything on the site to email@example.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about.
Copyright ©1997-2001 Chris "Bob" Odorjan