November, 2001 The Hoser Weather: Sometimes in November it looks really warm outside, but don't let that fool you. You still need to wear your gloves. If you can't find them, they're probably with your snowmobile on the bottom of the lake.
Vol. 5, No. 2

Dream Interpretation

by Doug McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobGood day, and welcome to the Hoser. I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my brother, Doug, and this month Doug has the topic.
DougI do?
BobYeah, you were going to talk about the dream you had last night, and then I'm gonna interpret it for you.
DougOh, right. Wait a minute. You interpret dreams?
BobYeah.
DougReally?
BobYeah!
DougWow, I did not know that. I learn something new every day, eh?
BobSo, Doug, tell me about this dream.
DougOkay, in my dream I was lying in bed, and I couldn't fall asleep.
BobIn your dream?
DougYeah.
BobAre you sure you were dreaming?
DougYeah, cause all the lights were on, and my alarm clock was floating.
BobOkay, I have two questions for you.
DougGo, eh?
BobFirst one: how many beers did you have the night before?
DougI lost track.
BobOkay, then. Second one: what do you need an alarm clock for? When was the last time you got up early? You don't even have a job!
DougNeither do you!
BobYeah, so I have no need for an alarm clock.
DougMaybe if you had an alarm clock, you'd be able to show up for work on time, and we wouldn't get fired.
BobYou got fired for sleeping on the job! Were there alarm clocks floating around there, too?
DougTake off!
BobYou take off!
DougYou said you'd interpret my dream, not poke fun at my job skills.
BobWhatever. So there's lights, floating alarm clocks, and you can't sleep.
DougYeah.
BobOkay, then I would say your subconscious is telling you to drink a beer.
DougReally?
BobYeah.
DougSounds good to me. (reaches over to case)
SFXBeer opening
BobOkay, now you can interpret my dream.
DougOh, great. When was this, last night?
BobUh, yeah.
DougThen go!
BobI was in a place with thousands of empty beer bottles, and I couldn't find an unopened one.
DougWas this, like, a nightmare?
BobYeah. Is my subconscious telling me to drink a beer?
DougDid you make that dream up?
BobYeah.
DougJust so I would say that your subconscious is telling you that you're thirsty, and you should have a beer?
BobUh, yeah. No, wait! I mean... oops.
DougWell, okay, then. Here's one. (hands Bob the bottle)
BobWha? This is empty!
DougYeah, just like in your "nightmare"!
BobYOU HOSER!

SCTV Airing in USA and Canada

Good day, eh? NBC is still showing SCTV in the former "Later" timeslot, which is usually Monday to Thursday, 1:35am to 2:05am. Check your listings, and find out when it's on. Who knows what episodes will be on, but maybe we'll be there, eh?

The Comedy Network in Canada is also showing two different syndicated episodes a day, and maybe they're in order, too. Check out the SCTV page and the SCTV News page for more info, eh?


[CCIC]
CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION
THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.