November, 2001 | Weather: Sometimes in November it looks really warm outside, but don't let that fool you. You still need to wear your gloves. If you can't find them, they're probably with your snowmobile on the bottom of the lake. | |
Vol. 5, No. 2 |
by Doug McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor
Bob | Good day, and welcome to the Hoser. I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my brother, Doug, and this month Doug has the topic. |
---|---|
Doug | I do? |
Bob | Yeah, you were going to talk about the dream you had last night, and then I'm gonna interpret it for you. |
Doug | Oh, right. Wait a minute. You interpret dreams? |
Bob | Yeah. |
Doug | Really? |
Bob | Yeah! |
Doug | Wow, I did not know that. I learn something new every day, eh? |
Bob | So, Doug, tell me about this dream. |
Doug | Okay, in my dream I was lying in bed, and I couldn't fall asleep. |
Bob | In your dream? |
Doug | Yeah. |
Bob | Are you sure you were dreaming? |
Doug | Yeah, cause all the lights were on, and my alarm clock was floating. |
Bob | Okay, I have two questions for you. |
Doug | Go, eh? |
Bob | First one: how many beers did you have the night before? |
Doug | I lost track. |
Bob | Okay, then. Second one: what do you need an alarm clock for? When was the last time you got up early? You don't even have a job! |
Doug | Neither do you! |
Bob | Yeah, so I have no need for an alarm clock. |
Doug | Maybe if you had an alarm clock, you'd be able to show up for work on time, and we wouldn't get fired. |
Bob | You got fired for sleeping on the job! Were there alarm clocks floating around there, too? |
Doug | Take off! |
Bob | You take off! |
Doug | You said you'd interpret my dream, not poke fun at my job skills. |
Bob | Whatever. So there's lights, floating alarm clocks, and you can't sleep. |
Doug | Yeah. |
Bob | Okay, then I would say your subconscious is telling you to drink a beer. |
Doug | Really? |
Bob | Yeah. |
Doug | Sounds good to me. (reaches over to case) |
SFX | Beer opening |
Bob | Okay, now you can interpret my dream. |
Doug | Oh, great. When was this, last night? |
Bob | Uh, yeah. |
Doug | Then go! |
Bob | I was in a place with thousands of empty beer bottles, and I couldn't find an unopened one. |
Doug | Was this, like, a nightmare? |
Bob | Yeah. Is my subconscious telling me to drink a beer? |
Doug | Did you make that dream up? |
Bob | Yeah. |
Doug | Just so I would say that your subconscious is telling you that you're thirsty, and you should have a beer? |
Bob | Uh, yeah. No, wait! I mean... oops. |
Doug | Well, okay, then. Here's one. (hands Bob the bottle) |
Bob | Wha? This is empty! |
Doug | Yeah, just like in your "nightmare"! |
Bob | YOU HOSER! |
Good day, eh? NBC is still showing SCTV in the former "Later" timeslot, which is usually Monday to Thursday, 1:35am to 2:05am. Check your listings, and find out when it's on. Who knows what episodes will be on, but maybe we'll be there, eh?
The Comedy Network in Canada is also showing two different syndicated episodes a day, and maybe they're in order, too. Check out the SCTV page and the SCTV News page for more info, eh?
CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION. |
---|
The Hoser |
|
BobNET NewsMy main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie. |
Contact BobSend me your questions or comments about anything on the site to codorjan@gmail.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about. |
Copyright ©1997-2001 Chris "Bob" Odorjan