|August, 2002||Weather: Civic Holiday is this month. Give your Honda the day off.|
|Vol. 5, No. 11|
by Doug McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor
|Bob||Good day, and welcome to the Hoser. I'm Bob McKenzie and this is my brother Doug.|
|Doug||Good day, eh!|
|Bob||Today the topic is the beer we found in the garage and like what to do with a case of old bottles. So Doug's gonna tell us about it now.|
|Doug||Ok, we're gonna talk about old beers cause like we found some in the garage, eh, and like they tasted all weird and stuff so we were barely able to finish them and when we sobered up we took them back to the beer store right and the manager said "no way, eh! These are old bottles and like they don't make 'em anymore so we can't take them back cause no one would use them", right? So like, that's my story.|
|Bob||Wow, that's not just a story, that was like the whole book. Welcome to the McKenzie's Storytime, where my brother Doug will tell us about Good Sir Bob and his servant Doug and how they slayed the evil beer dragon who took all the beer in the world. And then they lived happily ever after.|
|Doug||No way, I should be Sir Doug the knight in shining armor, and you can be like my squire or something.|
|Doug||So anyway, this was like a month ago, right? And like now the joke's on the manager of the beer store cause like I saw that one of the breweries is bringing back beer in stubby bottles, eh!|
|Doug||Yeah! For the folks at home who don't remember, like beer bottles now are tall and have like a cone shaped neck, eh, but years ago they were rounded and shorter so everyone called them stubbies, eh!|
|Bob||Yeah, so we had a bunch of 'em and they wouldn't take 'em back. But now according to Doug I guess they will. Which brewery is this? Not Sir Doug's, I hope.|
|Doug||No way, it's one of the microbreweries in Canada.|
|Bob||So they only make small beers, eh? SNORK!|
|Bob||I just had an idea!|
|Doug||Well that's a first.|
|Bob||Take off. We should open our own brewery. Our own microbrewery.|
|Doug||Hey, that's a good idea, eh! We could brew the beer in the garage and like fill all these old stubbies and make a fortune cause everyone will buy them cause they're in these neat bottles, eh!|
|Bob||Too bad we don't know how to make beer.|
|Doug||Yeah, but we do know how to drink beer. Mine's empty; hand me another one, eh!|
|Bob||Sure. (reaches into a nearby case) Hey, we're almost out, eh!|
|Doug||Geez, better find that microbrewery and get some more stubbies!|
|Bob||Yeah. So uh, I guess that's The Hoser for this month. Good day.|
|Doug||Good day, eh!|
by Bob and Doug McKenzie
Ok, SCTV is on in Canada on the Comedy Network, eh! If you live in Canada then check their page or SCTV: On The Air! for a list of times that it's on, and then like watch it, eh!
|CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION|
THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.
My main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie.
Send me your questions or comments about anything on the site to email@example.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about.
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