|June, 2001||Weather: All the beer you left outside during the winter has now melted and is flowing over. So now you don't have to water the lawn.|
|Vol. 4, No. 9|
by Bob McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor
|Bob||Good day, and welcome to the Hoser.|
|Doug||How's it goin'?|
|Bob||Okay, since last month they were showing the hockey playoffs, and we didn't have time for a real topic, so now we got two topics this month.|
|Doug||How come I wasn't informed of this?|
|Bob||Cause you were out buying the beer when I decided.|
|Doug||Hoser. You're not gettin' any, then.|
|Bob||Fine, I got my own. There's still ten beers here.|
|Doug||Yeah, you'll be lookin' for mine in about a half hour when you finish those.|
|Bob||Take off. Ok, what're the topics?|
|Doug||You make two topics this month, and don't tell me, and then expect me to come up with both topics? Maybe you should have some of my beer. Yours has something wrong with it, eh?|
|Bob||Strange Brew, eh?|
|Bob||Uh... Okay! Back to the first topic. Hockey playoffs. I thought they were beauty. What about you, Doug?|
|Doug||They were pretty good. They ended earlier than last year, which was a bonus.|
|Bob||Yeah, people playing hockey with skates in the summer.|
|Doug||Hosers. That reminds me, what'd you do with my skates?|
|Bob||What do you mean?|
|Doug||You borrowed them for a game.|
|Bob||I did? Yeah, that was in January.|
|Doug||Okay, then. Where are they?|
|Bob||You mean you haven't had your skates since January?|
|Doug||Yeah, it's only a couple months.|
|Bob||No, it's been five months. It's June!|
|Doug||Oh, yeah! Okay, then don't worry about them. I won't need them back until October or so.|
|Bob||Whatever! The next topic is Canadian beer.|
|Bob||Yeah. Okay, I think Canadian beer is beauty, eh? What about you, Doug?|
|Doug||Yeah, it's the best.|
|Bob||Okay. Uh... anything else?|
|Doug||No, is that it?|
|Doug||Maybe we should have come up with a third topic, eh?|
|Bob||Good idea. The third topic is summer in the Great White North. I think summer in the Great White North is beauty, eh? What about you, Doug?|
|Doug||Haven't I heard this before?|
|Bob||Yeah. Now it's warm out, so we're going to go sit outside and have a beer.|
|Doug||We do that in the winter, too. The beer stays cold, and since we're Canadians, we're used to the cold.|
|Bob||No, this isn't a topic about winter in the Great White North, it's about summer in the Great White North!|
|Doug||Yeah, but winter's longer, so the topic should be longer.|
|Bob||Good point, eh?|
|Doug||So, anyway, this is a better topic, we should have done this from the start. I got a lot of ideas of what to do in the summer while you're waiting for the next hockey season. Like, you can watch baseball, since Canada still has two teams. How'm I doing for time? I got a lot more things to say before we're out of...|
The server with the back issues isn't up for the summer, so, like, you should have saved them or something. They'll be back, uh, when we go back to our fast connection. The links are on the back issues page, but they won't go anywhere. Sorry for all of you using them to play drinking games with, eh?
Good day, eh? NBC is still showing SCTV in the former "Later" timeslot, which is usually Monday to Thursday, 1:35am to 2:05am. Check your listings, and find out when it's on. Who knows what episodes will be on, but maybe we'll be there, eh?
The Comedy Network in Canada is also showing two different syndicated episodes a day, and maybe they're in order, too. Check out the SCTV page and the SCTV News page for more info, eh?
|CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION|
THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.
My main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie.
Send me your questions or comments about anything on the site to email@example.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about.
Copyright ©1997-2001 Chris "Bob" Odorjan