|November, 2000||Weather: The Grey Cup game is this month. Take your TV outside and watch the CFL games in the cold to get the full experience. Drink lots and lots of beer to stay warm.|
|Vol. 4, No. 2|
by Doug McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor
|Bob||Good day, welcome to the Hoser.|
|Doug||How's it goin', eh?|
|Doug||Take off! I was asking our readers!|
|Bob||Oh, sorry, eh? What's the topic?|
|Doug||Geez! If you showed up at our meetings, you'd know!|
|Bob||We have meetings?|
|Doug||Yeah, staff meetings!|
|Bob||We have people working for us?|
|Doug||No, it's just you and me, eh?|
|Bob||That's not a staff. That's just us! You can't call a meeting for two people, and then one not shows up!|
|Doug||Well, I can, eh?|
|Bob||Hoser. We're wasting space, and you still haven't mentioned the topic.|
|Doug||Ok, this month, the topic is daylight time. Go, hosebreath.|
|Bob||Thanks. Ok. In Canada, the days in the summer are really long, and the days in the winter are really short. It's cause of the tilt of the Earth towards the sun.|
|Doug||He learned that from Star Trek, eh?|
|Bob||Yeah. So, to make the days seem even longer in the summer, we add an hour.|
|Doug||No, we take it away!|
|Bob||Take it away? Take off! The thing to remember is "spring ahead, fall backbacon".|
|Doug||Fry up some backbacon, eh?|
|Bob||Ok, but you're gonna have to take over the topic.|
|Doug||Fine. Ok, you go ahead in the spring, so two o'clock becomes three, and three becomes four. Stuff like that.|
|Bob||(brushing against grill) Geez.|
|Doug||Watch out, that Coleman's hot, eh? Anyway, so then it seems like the sun sets at 10, but it's really 9. And that's called daylight savings time, eh?|
|Bob||Beauty. And they have it from the first weekend in April to the last in October. Which is like, more than half the year.|
|Doug||Yeah. They should call it standard time, and the other one daylight losing time.|
|Bob||Good one. They have it all across Canada, so no one gets their TV times screwed up. 8:30 in Newfoundland, eh?|
|Doug||They don't have it in Saskatchewan.|
|Bob||That's hose, eh? Why not?|
|Doug||Maybe there's too many letters in the province's name, so they can't remember to put their clocks ahead and the name of the province at the same time, eh?|
|Bob||That could be. But probably not.|
|Doug||No, but it was the only thing I could think of.|
|Bob||Beauty. So, anyway, the last weekend in October, we fall back...|
|Doug||After getting completely loaded, we fall back into our chairs!|
|Bob||No, but I mean the clocks, hoser. So now it's dark right after dinner, which is pure cheezwiz.|
|Doug||No kidding, eh? Forget the summer. We need to add an hour in the winter, just so it's not as dark after you eat.|
|Bob||Good idea, eh? I'll write to my Member of Parliament, and have him make it illegal to be dark right after dinner.|
|Doug||Is that a great law, or what?|
Ok, eh? The back issues are up, but not the really early ones. We'll get them done sometime. We think.
Good day. The fine folks at The Comedy Network in Canada are still showing the syndicated episodes of SCTV, sometimes two a day. Check out the SCTV page for more info, eh?
The Bob and Doug McKenzie "action figures" have been out since July. Look for them at your local comic book store, or if you don't have one, go to Spawn Toys and order them over then internet, eh?
|CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION|
THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.
My main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie.
Send me your questions or comments about anything on the site to firstname.lastname@example.org. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about.
Copyright ©1997-2000 Chris "Bob" Odorjan