|July, 2001||Weather: It's gonna be warm and humid, so stay in the shade, don't do too much work, and drink a lot of water. Beer is 95% water.|
|Vol. 4, No. 10|
by Doug McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor
|Bob||Good day, and welcome to the Hoser.|
|Doug||How's it goin'?|
|Bob||Okay, today the topic is music, and...|
|Doug||Today? We change this page every day, now?|
|Bob||No. This month, the topic is music, and...|
|Doug||Oh, doing the page every day is too hard for you, now?|
|Bob||Take off. Let me finish. Anyways, the topic is music, and we spend a lot of time listening to it, because the radio in the van only gets one station ever since my hosehead brother bent the antenna off in the automatic car wash.|
|Doug||Yeah, eh? I'm putting you in the car wash, just so you don't smell so bad. It's an oldies station, but since when are music from the 70's considered old?|
|Bob||Well, since it's, like, over 20 years ago.|
|Doug||Were we doing our show 20 years ago?|
|Doug||Wow, and disco still sucks, eh?|
|Bob||Yeah, disco tries to make a comeback, but it's still out, eh?|
|Doug||No kidding, eh? Anyway, disco is the worst, but you get some stuff these days that's almost as bad. Like boy bands. We could form a boy band.|
|Bob||Really? Us two?|
|Doug||Yeah. We could grow goatees and dye our hair and use a name like 'nHose or the Backbacon Boys or something.|
|Bob||'nHose?! Backbacon Boys?! That's amazing!|
|Doug||I know, eh? And I thought of it! No one else can steal my idea, now that it's printed here, eh? Folks, print out a copy of this page, so we have proof that I said this.|
|Doug||Okay, how about we become rappers or something. I could be MC Kenzie, get it?|
|Bob||Yeah, I get it. Welcome to the Time Machine, where Doug McKenzie takes you back to 1989.|
|Doug||What do you mean?|
|Bob||Rappers stopped calling themselves "MC", like, 10 years ago. What about me? What's my rap name from 1989?|
|Doug||You can be Hosehead.|
|Bob||You call me "Hosehead" now!|
|Doug||It's perfect, then!|
|Bob||No way, give me a better name.|
|Doug||Okay, you can be... uh... Ice Beer!|
|Bob||Wow, now you're going weird on me.|
|Doug||Take off. I've had fewer beers than you. Anyway, folks, join us next month, not tomorrow...|
|Doug||...when we become 'nHose and dance around while we lip-sync to music.|
|Bob||No way, eh? We're still going to be Bob and Doug, folks. Don't believe him, eh?|
|Doug||Boy, are you gonna look silly with purple hair and a goatee.|
The server with the back issues isn't up for the summer, so, like, you should have saved them or something. They'll be back, uh, when we go back to our fast connection. The links are on the back issues page, but they won't go anywhere. Sorry for all of you using them to play drinking games with, eh?
Good day, eh? NBC is still showing SCTV in the former "Later" timeslot, which is usually Monday to Thursday, 1:35am to 2:05am. Check your listings, and find out when it's on. Who knows what episodes will be on, but maybe we'll be there, eh?
The Comedy Network in Canada is also showing two different syndicated episodes a day, and maybe they're in order, too. Check out the SCTV page and the SCTV News page for more info, eh?
|CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION|
THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.
My main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie.
Send me your questions or comments about anything on the site to email@example.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about.
Copyright ©1997-2001 Chris "Bob" Odorjan