April, 2000 The Hoser Weather: If you accidentally put two tuques on, eh, take one off. Take it off. Take off! It's not snowing anymore, so you only need one.
Vol. 3, No. 7

Real Old Empties

by Doug McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobOkay, good day, welcome to the Hoser.
DougHow's it goin', eh?
BobToday we're going to tell you how to make, uh, lots of money from old empties.
DougReal old empties. Like stubbies, eh?
BobOk, for those of you who don't remember cause you're too young...
DougOr cause you're always loaded, eh?
BobCan I talk now?
DougWhat's wrong?
BobYou interrupted me.
DougYeah. So? I always do.
BobYeah, so stop doing that, eh?
DougGeez. Who put water in your beer bottle today?
BobYou did, don't you remember.
DougOh, right. Just after I drank it.
BobAnyway. What was the topic?
DougUm. Real old stubbies.
BobOk. For those of you who don't remember stubbies cause you were too young, or loaded...
Bob...stubbies were those short funny looking bottles they used to sell beer in.
DougThey stored less, but they looked cooler. In your cooler. Heh.
BobCool. Uh. Yeah, so they stopped selling them in, like, the 80's, so good day.
DougWha? That's it?
BobNo, we're not done, eh?!
DougOk, you confused me with your "good day".
BobBut we start the show with "good day" and it doesn't confuse you. Or are you always confused?
DougYeah. That's it. I lost track of the topic again.
BobYour train of thought got derailed. We were talking about empties.
DougOh yeah. Old empties. Real old empties.
BobOk. If you're cleaning your garage, and you find a real old case of beer that you forgot to take back for a refund, keep it, eh?
DougWhy? They pay you ten cents a bottle at the beer store!
BobYeah, but collectors'll pay a lot more.
DougHow much more?
BobI don't know. Twenty cents?
DougGeez. We're getting ripped off at the beer store. Here, start collecting empties.
BobNo, not these. Only the old ones. Real old ones.
DougOh, like stubbies, eh?
BobYeah, that's why I brought them up.
DougOk. Do you know any collectors?
BobJust you.
DougI don't collect bottles, eh?
BobWell, that's a pretty big collection in front of you right now, eh?
DougYeah, so? I'm taking them back.
BobThat's almost two bucks there, too.
DougYeah. I can count yours. Looks like you've got two-and-a-half. Now I know how you finance your drinking habit.
BobTake off!

Action Figures

BobGood day. It's a very good day, cause McFarlane Toys is making action figures based upon us, eh?
DougWell, I'm an action figure. Bob's just one of the props, eh?
BobTake off.
DougMore information can be found here, and there's some pictures here, eh?

Strange Brew 2 News

Good day, eh? Any news about our new movie, our action figures, and, like, anything else about us will be posted on our News page before we put it here, eh? So, like, maybe you want to bookmark it, or something, so you'll know, like, which beer stores to go to, eh?

Back Issues

Ok, we got ourselves a server to put back issues on, but we're too cheap to get full time internet access. So, try out The Hoser Back Issues Site, and, like, if they don't work, try again later. That's what happens when you spend more money on beer than on internet. And that's the way it should be, too, eh?

SCTV Reruns

Howzit goin'? They're still showing SCTV in Canada on The Comedy Network, eh? And sometimes on NBC in the USA, too. Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?