February, 2000 The Hoser Weather: If the groundhog sees his shadow when he wakes up from his winter hibernation, it means six more weeks of winter. If Bob sees his shadow when he wakes up from his winter hangover, it means he left the lights on in the van again.
Vol. 3, No. 5

Beer For Breakfast

by Bob McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobOkay, good day, welcome to the Hoser.
DougHow's it goin', eh?
BobToday the topic is...
BobWha? Get out! Snowplows. The real topic is, uh, breakfast.
DougI want snowplows.
BobNo, you don't. Ok, breakfast. What do we say about it?
DougThey go down the street, eh? And if you parked the van at the side of the road, you're not getting it out 'till May.
BobYou're still talking about that, eh?
DougI'm doing snowplows. You can do whatever topic you want, but people will listen to me, eh?
BobThey will not. Besides, we've done snowplows before.
BobOk, as I was saying, sometimes you get up before noon, eh?
DougThen you look out the window and see the snowplow block in the van.
BobTake off! You wake up early, and you can't eat lunch, so what do you do?
DougGet the shovel out and start shoveling.
BobYeah, exactly. You get out some cereal and shovel it in, eh? But, like, what happens when you're out of milk?
DougNothing, cause you don't need milk to dig out your van.
BobNo, you use beer, instead.
DougAw! Beer on cereal? That doesn't sound very tasty, eh?
BobOh, so you're doing my topic now, eh?
DougHuh? No! Only 'cause you tricked me, eh?
BobDid not.
DougDid too.
BobYou tricked yourself.
BobOk, so, when you wake up early, like maybe you weren't out at the donut place at 3 am or something...
DougThat's when the snowplows go by, too.
Bob...and you get hungry, and you're out of milk for your cereal, you just use beer. Or lite beer, if you use skim milk.
DougOr like maybe you want to drink some coffee, so you use ice beer instead of cream.
BobBeauty. You're doing my topic again.
DougTake off!
BobYou take off! Anyway, whatever way you do it, have some beer for breakfast. Then you'll be ready to shovel out the van.
DougSNORK! Now you're doing my topic!
BobTake off!

Strange Brew 2 News

Good day, eh? Any news about our new movie, and, like, anything else about us will be posted on our News page before we put it here, eh? So, like, maybe you want to bookmark it, or something, so you'll know, like, which beer stores to go to, eh?

Back Issues

Ok, we got ourselves a server to put back issues on, but we're too cheap to get full time internet access. So, try out The Hoser Back Issues Site, and, like, if they don't work, try again later. That's what happens when you spend more money on beer than on internet. And that's the way it should be, too, eh?

SCTV Reruns

Howzit goin'? They're still showing SCTV in Canada on The Comedy Network, eh? And sometimes on NBC in the USA, too. Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?