January, 2000 The Hoser Weather: Make sure you got lots of jumper cables, cause the van's real big, and you'll need more than one set to get around it. Don't use speaker wire. It doesn't work, and the speakers blow up, eh?
Vol. 3, No. 4

The Year 2000

by Bob McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobOkay, good day, welcome to the Hoser.
DougHow's it goin', eh? Welcome to 2000.
BobOk, today the topic is the year 2000. Like, what's so important, eh?
DougY'know how the van reached 1000000 a few years ago?
BobOh, yeah. That was neat.
DougAnd how it didn't go to 1000000, but started over at zero?
BobYeah. We should have sold it then, eh?
DougMake it look like we only drove it 12 kilos since we bought it, eh?
BobWith no screwdriver marks around the odometer this time, too.
DougBeauty, eh? Tell them our grandma had it for twenty-five years, and only used it to go to the grocery store, or something.
BobYou nobk!
BobWhy didn't we sell it?
DougI dunno.
BobI was afraid you'd use the proceeds to buy beer, eh?
DougYeah, good idea. Maybe next time.
BobWhat were we talking about?
DougUh. 2000? When you only look at the last two digits, the calendar does the same as the van.
BobRight. Neat.
DougSee my new tuque?
BobI can, but readers at home can't.
DougOk, I call it my "Y" tuque.
BobWhy? Cause you stole it from the YMCA. Kinduv a cheesy song, hoser.
DougNo, hosehead, so I can say I'm wearing my "Y" tuque, eh?
DougGet it? My "Y" tuque, eh? Y2k? You been under a rock the past four years?
BobYeah, I've been living with you.
BobHow much did you drink on New Year's? I think that's why you're spouting nonsense.
DougI always spout nonsense. New Year's is over?
BobYeah. You mean you haven't stopped drinking yet?
DougNo, no one told me, eh?
BobYou've been loaded since 1999!
Doug1979, but who's counting? What about you?
BobOk, I've had a couple.
DougYeah, a couple of kegs worth.
BobTake off!

Back Issues

Ok, we got ourselves a server to put back issues on, but we're too cheap to get full time internet access. So, try out The Hoser Back Issues Site, and, like, if they don't work, try again later. That's what happens when you spend more money on beer than on internet. And that's the way it should be, too, eh?

The Twelve Days of Christmas

Okay, every year people ask for the lyrics to Twelve Days of Christmas. So, we put them here, eh? Play this at your Christmas parties, or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there's nothing else to do. So good day, this is the Christmas part, and we're gonna tell you what to get your true love for Christmas...

Strange Brew 2 News

Good day, eh? Any news about our new movie, and, like, anything else about us will be posted on our News page before we put it here, eh? So, like, maybe you want to bookmark it, or something, so you'll know, like, which beer stores to go to, eh?

SCTV Reruns

Howzit goin'? They're still showing SCTV in Canada on The Comedy Network, eh? And sometimes on NBC in the USA, too. Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?