| December, 1999 |  |
Weather: Um... It's still cold out, and we're gonna get snow this month, and a lot of ice. Especially ice beer. |
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| Vol. 3, No. 3 |
| December, 1999 | |
Weather: Um... It's still cold out, and we're gonna get snow this month, and a lot of ice. Especially ice beer. |
|---|---|---|
| Vol. 3, No. 3 |
by Bob McKenzie, Editor 
-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 
| Bob | Okay, good day, welcome to the Hoser. |
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| Doug | How's it goin', eh? |
| Bob | Okay, like, last month, we went camping, eh? |
| Doug | We did? |
| Bob | Aw! You're loaded already? |
| Doug | Yeah, so? |
| Bob | Okay. This happened when we were camping, too. |
| Doug | We were camping? |
| Bob | Hose off, you nobk! He got loaded when we were camping, at, like, the provincial park, eh? |
| Doug | I thought it was a national park. For more information, contact Parks and Recreation Canada in Ottawa, eh? |
| Bob | Wha? What're you doing? |
| Doug | Gimme a beer. |
| Bob | No way, you're cut off. |
| Doug | Fine, eh? (Funny look on his face) |
| Bob | Back to the topic. Where was I? |
| Doug | You were telling them about the time we went camping in Ottawa. |
| Bob | Wha? We weren't in Ottawa, you nobk! Let me finish the story before you puke. |
| Doug | I won't puke... (Runs off set) |
| Bob | Where're you going? |
| SFX | Vomiting sounds in background |
| Bob | What the? |
| Doug | (Returns to set) Ok, I'm feeling better, eh? When's the show start? |
| Bob | What show, I'm writing a Hoser! |
| Doug | You started without me? |
| Bob | You were here all along! |
| Doug | I was? Jeepers. What's the topic? |
| Bob | Our camping trip, eh? |
| Doug | Oh yeah. Folks, when you go camping, don't take, like, six cases of beer for a three day trip. |
| Bob | Six cases each. |
| Doug | Yeah. |
| Bob | Hoser, here, drank all of them, including my share, eh? |
| Doug | I was thirsty, eh? |
| Bob | And, it was, like, November. It's too cold to drink twelve cases of beer! |
| Doug | Geez. How long have you been a Canadian, eh? It's never too cold to drink beer. |
| Bob | Take off. Let's finish the topic. |
| Doug | Ok. So, don't drink too much beer when you're camping, cause you'll wander onto someone else's site, and puke on their sleeping bag. |
| Bob | Too bad you puked on it when that guy was asleep, eh? |
| Doug | Well, he woke up pretty quickly, if I remember. At least I wasn't siphoning his gas, though. |
| Bob | And another thing, don't get caught siphoning someone else's gas, eh? 'Cause, like, you'll get kicked out. |
| Doug | Yeah. |
| Bob | So, the moral of the story is... |
| Doug | There's a moral? We don't have morals, do we? |
| Bob | Yeah, sort of. Anyway, the moral is: don't take too much beer when you're camping, and when you do, hide it from your brother. |
| Doug | That's a great moral. Siphoning gas is ok, but me drinking beer isn't. You are a true hoser! |
| Bob | Take off, eh? |
Okay, every year people ask for the lyrics to Twelve Days of Christmas. So, we put them here, eh? Play this at your Christmas parties, or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there's nothing else to do. So good day, this is the Christmas part, and we're gonna tell you what to get your true love for Christmas...
Good day, eh? Any news about our new movie, and, like, anything else about us will be posted on our News page before we put it here, eh? So, like, maybe you want to bookmark it, or something, so you'll know, like, which beer stores to go to, eh?
Howzit goin'? They're still showing SCTV in Canada on The Comedy Network, eh? And sometimes on NBC in the USA, too. Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?
![[CCIC]](../ccic.png) | CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION. |
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The Hoser |
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BobNET NewsMy main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie. |
Contact BobSend me your questions or comments about anything on the site to codorjan@gmail.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about. |
Copyright ©1997-1999 Chris "Bob" Odorjan