December, 1999 The Hoser Weather: Um... It's still cold out, and we're gonna get snow this month, and a lot of ice. Especially ice beer.
Vol. 3, No. 3

Camping With Beer

by Bob McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobOkay, good day, welcome to the Hoser.
DougHow's it goin', eh?
BobOkay, like, last month, we went camping, eh?
DougWe did?
BobAw! You're loaded already?
DougYeah, so?
BobOkay. This happened when we were camping, too.
DougWe were camping?
BobHose off, you nobk! He got loaded when we were camping, at, like, the provincial park, eh?
DougI thought it was a national park. For more information, contact Parks and Recreation Canada in Ottawa, eh?
BobWha? What're you doing?
DougGimme a beer.
BobNo way, you're cut off.
DougFine, eh? (Funny look on his face)
BobBack to the topic. Where was I?
DougYou were telling them about the time we went camping in Ottawa.
BobWha? We weren't in Ottawa, you nobk! Let me finish the story before you puke.
DougI won't puke... (Runs off set)
BobWhere're you going?
SFXVomiting sounds in background
BobWhat the?
Doug(Returns to set) Ok, I'm feeling better, eh? When's the show start?
BobWhat show, I'm writing a Hoser!
DougYou started without me?
BobYou were here all along!
DougI was? Jeepers. What's the topic?
BobOur camping trip, eh?
DougOh yeah. Folks, when you go camping, don't take, like, six cases of beer for a three day trip.
BobSix cases each.
BobHoser, here, drank all of them, including my share, eh?
DougI was thirsty, eh?
BobAnd, it was, like, November. It's too cold to drink twelve cases of beer!
DougGeez. How long have you been a Canadian, eh? It's never too cold to drink beer.
BobTake off. Let's finish the topic.
DougOk. So, don't drink too much beer when you're camping, cause you'll wander onto someone else's site, and puke on their sleeping bag.
BobToo bad you puked on it when that guy was asleep, eh?
DougWell, he woke up pretty quickly, if I remember. At least I wasn't siphoning his gas, though.
BobAnd another thing, don't get caught siphoning someone else's gas, eh? 'Cause, like, you'll get kicked out.
BobSo, the moral of the story is...
DougThere's a moral? We don't have morals, do we?
BobYeah, sort of. Anyway, the moral is: don't take too much beer when you're camping, and when you do, hide it from your brother.
DougThat's a great moral. Siphoning gas is ok, but me drinking beer isn't. You are a true hoser!
BobTake off, eh?

The Twelve Days of Christmas

Okay, every year people ask for the lyrics to Twelve Days of Christmas. So, we put them here, eh? Play this at your Christmas parties, or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there's nothing else to do. So good day, this is the Christmas part, and we're gonna tell you what to get your true love for Christmas...

Strange Brew 2 News

Good day, eh? Any news about our new movie, and, like, anything else about us will be posted on our News page before we put it here, eh? So, like, maybe you want to bookmark it, or something, so you'll know, like, which beer stores to go to, eh?

SCTV Reruns

Howzit goin'? They're still showing SCTV in Canada on The Comedy Network, eh? And sometimes on NBC in the USA, too. Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?