|November, 1999||Weather: It's gettin' colder, and the lake might start to freeze, eh? So, get your snowmobile out of the water before it freezes, unlike last year, eh?|
|Vol. 3, No. 2|
by Doug McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor
|Bob||Okay, good day, welcome to the Hoser.|
|Doug||How's it goin', eh?|
|Bob||Today the topic is Star Trek versus Star Wars.|
|Bob||Yeah. Um. I think you had something you wanted to say.|
|Doug||Wha? Take off! You chose the topic!|
|Bob||Only cause you couldn't think of a better one, eh?|
|Doug||Well, give me a beer and I might think of some more.|
|Bob||Ok, here you go, hoser.|
|Doug||(Chugs beer) Tastes beauty, eh?|
|Bob||Got any ideas?|
|Doug||Yeah. Star Trek and Star Wars. Like, why can't we watch both at the same time, eh?|
|Bob||Wha? Cause you'd get confused and can't figure out why Kirk just doesn't beam up Luke and blow up the Imperial cruiser.|
|Doug||Yeah, like why doesn't he do that, eh?|
|Bob||Folks, my brother is a moron.|
|Doug||Okay, I've got another thing. You know all those guys wearing the red suits that you've never seen before and beam down with Kirk?|
|Doug||And how they always get killed, by like, phaser fire immediately after they've transported?|
|Doug||And you know the Imperial storm troopers, eh?|
|Doug||And how whenever they fire at Luke, or Obi-Wan, or anyone else, they always miss?|
|Doug||Ok. What happens if the red unknown ensigns from Star Trek meet the storm troopers from Star Wars?|
|Bob||What're you talking about?|
|Doug||The ensigns wouldn't get hit, so they couldn't die like in every episode, eh?|
|Bob||Oh, so that's what will cause the destruction of the universe, eh?|
|Doug||Yeah. What's the word?|
|Bob||You are a moron.|
|Doug||Paradox! Who's a moron?! I came up with that myself, cause I'm a walking dictionary!|
|Bob||You're a walking beer disposal unit. We can install you on the Enterprise, or on the Millenium Falcon, and whenever they have drinks leftover, you can get rid of them.|
|Doug||Sounds beauty to me, eh? So, that's why we should be able to watch Star Trek and Star Wars at the same time, eh?|
|Bob||So you can turn into a freak like my brother Doug, who watches them all the time anyway.|
|Bob||What a waste of time.|
The soundtrack for our album is avaliable in MP3 format at The Bob and Doug McKenzie Sounds Page, eh? So go there if you want to hear our famous soundtrack, eh?
Good day, eh? Any news about our new movie, and, like, anything else about us will be posted on our News page before we put it here, eh? So, like, maybe you want to bookmark it, or something, so you'll know, like, which beer stores to go to, eh?
Howzit goin'? They're still showing SCTV in Canada on The Comedy Network, eh? Or at least until the end of this month, or something. And sometimes on NBC in the USA, too. Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?
|CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION|
THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.
My main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie.
Send me your questions or comments about anything on the site to email@example.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about.
Copyright ©1997-1999 Chris "Bob" Odorjan