September, 2000 The Hoser Weather: The weather will start to get cold, since fall begins this month. But it's still too warm to play hockey, so you don't have to clean out your equipment yet.
Vol. 3, No. 12

Canadian Beer Vs. Other Beers

by Doug McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobGood day, welcome to the Hoser.
Doug(Chugging beer) Mmf?
BobOh, good one, eh?
DougSorry, I was drinking a beer, start over!
BobNo, we can't start over. Besides, that's our topic.
DougStarting over?
BobNo. Geez. Beer, you nobk!
DougHaven't we done that one?
BobNo, this one's about Canadian beer and other beers.
DougUh, we've done that one too.
BobNo we haven't!
DougOk, if you say so. I'll just let you do all the talking, since you're an expert, eh?
BobTake off. Ok, today the topic is Canadian beer versus other beers.
DougOther beers suck! Just drink the Canadian-brewed stuff, and you'll be okay.
BobI thought you were going to let the expert talk.
DougYeah, but there isn't one here!
DougActually, having tried every single type of beer made, I think we're experts by now.
BobYeah, good point. We all know that Canadian beer tastes better, and has more alcohol...
DougBut you can't taste it. If you could, then it would suck.
BobYou'd suck it down if it was the only thing there, hosehead.
DougOk, so would you, though.
BobOkay, maybe. Let's talk about foreign beers.
DougLike American beer?
BobNo, like stuff made overseas.
DougMexican beer? If you have to drink it with a lime, it isn't beer.
BobMexico's not overseas, is it?
DougYeah, look at this map behind us.
BobWha? We're doing The Hoser, eh? Not the Great White North.
DougOkay, pretend there's a map behind us. See between Florida and Mexico?
BobYeah, that's the Gulf of Mexico.
DougGood one. I see you've been studying your geography. Have you been using our beer money to pay for night school?
BobNo way, eh?
DougAnyway, there's the Gulf of Mexico between us and them. So that's why they're overseas.
BobOkay, eh? I was thinking of Europe and stuff.
DougYeah, the French have beer. They make it with grapes and call it wine.
BobTake off. What about German beers?
DougI can't remember. Oktoberfest was almost a year ago.
BobYou forget what happened last night.
DougWhat did happen last night?
BobYou got loaded and fell asleep.
DougSame thing we do every night.
BobYeah. Okay, that covers overseas and Europe and Mexico. Now we can talk about American beers.
DougThey like to drink lite beer. All the water in North America is either in the Great Lakes or American lite beer.
BobOnly there's more of it in the beer.
DougYeah. Not like Canadian lite beers.
BobThey don't make lite beers in Canada, eh?
DougYeah, they do.
BobThey do?
DougWell, what else are you supposed to drink at breakfast?
BobGood point, eh?
DougYeah. I believe it only has 4-and-a-half percent alcohol.
BobGeez. I think that's the same as regular beer in the States.
DougCould be. Down there, their lite beer is something like 2 percent.
BobOkay, that explains why they have to drink so much to get the same effect.
DougThey drink a lot? You just finished that case off!
BobI finished it, but you had most of them! For breakfast, too!
DougOkay, I was thirsty. Good thing it was a lite beer.
BobYou're a hoser.
DougYou're a hoser.
BobYou're a bigger hoser.
DougYou're a big idiot.
BobTake off!

SCTV Reruns

Good day. The fine folks at The Comedy Network in Canada are still showing the syndicated episodes of SCTV, sometimes two a day. Check out the SCTV page for more info, eh?

Action Figures

The Bob and Doug McKenzie "action figures" have been out since July. Look for them at your local comic book store, or if you don't have one, go to Spawn Toys and order them over then internet, eh?

Back Issues

We keep promising the back issues, but they still aren't up. Fear not! The original files are still here, we just have to fix some stuff up. (Like, Doug's name was spelled "McKeznie" on the first year and a half. We also spelled tuque a whole bunch of different ways, too.)

Strange Brew 2 News

Good day, eh? Any news about our new movie, our action figures, and, like, anything else about us will be posted on our News page before we put it here, eh? So, like, maybe you want to bookmark it, or something, so you'll know, like, which beer stores to go to, eh?