| October, 1999 |  |
Weather: It gets colder this month, so get the heater in your van fixed, eh? |
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| Vol. 3, No. 1 |
| October, 1999 | |
Weather: It gets colder this month, so get the heater in your van fixed, eh? |
|---|---|---|
| Vol. 3, No. 1 |
by Bob McKenzie, Editor 
-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 
| Bob | Okay, good day, welcome to the Hoser. |
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| Doug | How's it goin', eh? |
| Bob | Okay, this month we have a really important topic, and we don't have a lot of space. So, go, hoser. |
| Doug | Wha? Oh yeah. It's October, eh? So, like, that means its time for Oktoberfest. |
| Bob | Yeah. For those of you who don't know, Oktoberfest is a big party they have every year where they drink beer and eat sausages. |
| Doug | We've gone every year since 1983, eh? |
| Bob | Yeah, beauty. No one knows you're drunk, cause they're all loaded too, eh? |
| Doug | Twenty thousand Hosers can't be wrong, eh? |
| Bob | We drive down every year, cause... |
| Doug | Well, I drive. You always drink too much before we leave and you fall asleep on the way home. |
| Bob | Take off. I had some bad sauerkraut or something, and got sick. |
| Doug | Okay. New topic. Sauerkraut. Who came up with taking a bunch of cabbage, putting it in a barrel, and letting it rot until it smelled like my brother Bob's puke, then eating it? |
| Bob | Probably the same guy who put barley and hops in a barrel until it rotted, eh? |
| Doug | Ooog. That sounds terrible. What is that? |
| Bob | (SNORK!) |
| Doug | What're you laughing at. It makes me wanna barf, eh? |
| Bob | It's beer, you nobk! |
| Doug | Beer's made from rotten barley and hops? |
| Bob | Yeah. |
| Doug | Gee. I take it back, rotten barley and hops sounds pretty good, eh? |
| Bob | Yeah. I wonder what else tastes good when its rotten. |
| Doug | Maybe back bacon does. |
| Bob | Naw, remember the time I stuck it in my boots to keep my feet warm, then forgot about it? |
| Doug | That wasn't the back bacon that smelled, eh? It was your feet! |
| Bob | Take off, you hoser! |
| Doug | Is that it? |
| Bob | Yeah. |
| Doug | Are we going this year? |
| Bob | Yeah, we're leaving now. That's why the topic's done. |
| Doug | Good. I'm thirsty. |
| Bob | Okay. Here's some rotten cabbage. |
| Doug | Good day, I'm doing the topic for this article, eh? |
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| Bob | No way, eh? |
| Doug | Yeah. The Hoser is two years old this month. That's a long time, eh? |
| Bob | Yeah. That's like... 24 months. |
| Doug | Beauty. We got a two-four of Hoser's now. |
| Bob | Nice one, eh? Speaking of two-four, I'm thirsty. |
| Doug | Well, you already emptied one pack of two-four, so you can't have any more until the end of the month. |
| Bob | Okay, but neither can you. |
| Doug | Really? |
| Bob | Yeah. |
| Doug | Okay, let's go to the Beer Store and start on another two-four. |
| Bob | Okay, eh? This is the second anniversary of The Hoser, good day. |
| Doug | Good day, eh? |
Good day, eh? Any news about our new movie, and, like, anything else about us will be posted on our News page before we put it here, eh? So, like, maybe you want to bookmark it, or something, so you'll know, like, which beer stores to go to, eh?
Howzit goin'? They're still showing SCTV in Canada on The Comedy Network, eh? Or at least until November, and sometimes on NBC in the USA, too. Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?
![[CCIC]](../ccic.png) | CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION. |
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The Hoser |
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BobNET NewsMy main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie. |
Contact BobSend me your questions or comments about anything on the site to codorjan@gmail.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about. |
Copyright ©1997-1999 Chris "Bob" Odorjan