June, 1999 The Hoser Weather: That cloudy stuff might be fog, but it's probably smoke comin' from the van, eh?!
Vol. 2, No. 9

Cooking Back Bacon On The Engine Of Your Van

by Bob McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobOkay, good day, and welcome to the Hoser.
DougGood day, eh?
BobThis month we've got a really good topic, cause it can save your life, eh? We're gonna tell you how to cook back bacon on your van.
DougYeah, if your van gets stuck, you can still eat, eh? Go, hoser.
BobOkay. We were driving down the 401 the other day, eh? And like, hosehead here had 40 cases of empties stacked in the back of the van, eh?
DougI was thirsty, cause it was warm out, eh?
BobYeah, decent, only they weighed the van down so much, and it was a hot day, so the engine got too hot.
DougThe little warning light came on, which surprised me, cause I thought all the fuses were burnt out, eh?
BobAnyway, the van caught fire.
DougThere were flames coming from under the hood. Fortunately, we got it out by driving it into the ditch on the side of the road.
BobGood thing, cause we got 96 dollars from the empties, and it gave us a good idea. Since the engine of the van gets real hot, why not cook food on it?
DougYeah, when we got home we put some back bacon on the engine, and started it up. Too bad it was out of gas.
BobBut it was a good idea. So next time you drive to Toronto and get stuck in traffic and are really hungry, you can get out and fry up some back bacon.
DougOr, like, when you're camping, you don't even need to bring a Coleman with you, just a van.
BobOh, and you probably don't need a van, cause it might work on other vehicles, but we've never tried it.
DougYeah, just make sure you've got plenty of gasoline, unlike hosehead, here.
BobLay off, eh?
DougDon't forget to tell them how it saves your life.
BobOk, if you get lost or something in the woods, and you don't have a Coleman or any cold ones with you, just take out some back bacon and put it on the van.
DougGood idea, eh? Good thing I thought of it.
BobTake off, you did not! That's our topic, good day.
DougGood day, eh?

Strange Brew 2

Ok, we've got more info on our movie, eh? We start our own brewing company, so we're calling it Home Brew, eh? And, we're gonna start filming in July in Toronto, eh? So, here's the Canoe article, and there's always info on alt.tv.sctv, eh?

SCTV Reruns

Howzit goin'? They're still showing SCTV on the Comedy Network in Canada, eh, and sometimes on NBC in the USA, too. Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?