|April, 1999||Weather: It'll probably rain this month, so leave the van parked outside so it'll get washed, eh?|
|Vol. 2, No. 7|
by Bob McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor
|Bob||Okay, good day, and welcome to the Hoser.|
|Doug||Good day, eh?|
|Bob||Okay, we've got a really important topic this month, and that's Donut Shops.|
|Doug||Yeah. Like, in Canada, there's a lot of them, eh? So, which one do you go to?|
|Bob||Okay, really important: make sure they're open 24 hours. That way, when you wake up at 3:00 am two days after drinking a case of beer, you can go get donuts.|
|Doug||Okay, also make sure that they have jelly donuts.|
|Bob||Yeah... what? Why jellies?|
|Doug||Cause I like 'em, eh?|
|Bob||Nobk. The ones with sprinkles are the best, eh?|
|Doug||Take off! You choose donuts like you choose beer, you buy the cheapest ones!|
|Bob||I do not! Donuts cost the same, anyway, you nobk!|
|Doug||Okay, but beer doesn't. Hosehead, here, he buys lite beer, then wonders why he drinks the whole case!|
|Bob||I didn't drink the whole case. I had only half, eh, before I threw it out.|
|Doug||I can't believe you wasted beer like that.|
|Bob||You were the one who wouldn't drink it because it was lite, eh?|
|Doug||Yeah, eh? Huh? We're out of space this month?|
|Bob||What? But we're not done our topic! I wanted to tell everyone where to go for donuts.|
|Doug||Well, you wasted time talking about lite beer. Go have a lite donut, you goofy chicken!|
|Bob||Take off, you hoser!|
Howzit goin'? Starting this month in both Canada and the USA, they're showing old reruns of SCTV, eh? So now you can catch all our original Great White North segments where we got our big break, eh? Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?
Good day, eh? This article's been here for a while, but we'll leave it up until we have more of it done, eh? It took a year, but we've finally finished writing the script for our new movie, eh? Read the article that appeared in the Toronto Sun (and on alt.tv.sctv).
|CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION|
THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.
My main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie.
Send me your questions or comments about anything on the site to email@example.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about.
Copyright ©1997-1999 Chris "Bob" Odorjan