April, 1999 The Hoser Weather: It'll probably rain this month, so leave the van parked outside so it'll get washed, eh?
Vol. 2, No. 7

Donut Shops

by Bob McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobOkay, good day, and welcome to the Hoser.
DougGood day, eh?
BobOkay, we've got a really important topic this month, and that's Donut Shops.
DougYeah. Like, in Canada, there's a lot of them, eh? So, which one do you go to?
BobOkay, really important: make sure they're open 24 hours. That way, when you wake up at 3:00 am two days after drinking a case of beer, you can go get donuts.
BobThanks, hoser.
DougOkay, also make sure that they have jelly donuts.
BobYeah... what? Why jellies?
DougCause I like 'em, eh?
BobNobk. The ones with sprinkles are the best, eh?
DougTake off! You choose donuts like you choose beer, you buy the cheapest ones!
BobI do not! Donuts cost the same, anyway, you nobk!
DougOkay, but beer doesn't. Hosehead, here, he buys lite beer, then wonders why he drinks the whole case!
BobI didn't drink the whole case. I had only half, eh, before I threw it out.
DougI can't believe you wasted beer like that.
BobYou were the one who wouldn't drink it because it was lite, eh?
DougYeah, eh? Huh? We're out of space this month?
BobWhat? But we're not done our topic! I wanted to tell everyone where to go for donuts.
DougWell, you wasted time talking about lite beer. Go have a lite donut, you goofy chicken!
BobTake off, you hoser!

SCTV Reruns

Howzit goin'? Starting this month in both Canada and the USA, they're showing old reruns of SCTV, eh? So now you can catch all our original Great White North segments where we got our big break, eh? Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?

Strange Brew 2

Good day, eh? This article's been here for a while, but we'll leave it up until we have more of it done, eh? It took a year, but we've finally finished writing the script for our new movie, eh? Read the article that appeared in the Toronto Sun (and on alt.tv.sctv).