December, 1998 The Hoser Weather: Look out the window... Snow, Hosehead!
Vol. 2, No. 3

Christmastime in the Great White North

by Bob McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobOkay, good day, and welcome to the Hoser.
DougGood day, eh?
BobOk, it's Christmastime in the Great White North this month.
DougYeah. Merry Christmas.
BobAw! Leave me hanging!
BobAnyway, it's cold out this time of year, and it's snowing, eh?
DougYeah, time to get out your parka, and go out in the woods to cut down your tree, eh?
BobYeah. We went out yesterday to get our tree.
DougWell, I went to get the tree. You just came for the beer.
BobGet out! I helped, too.
DougWhat, by making the back bacon we had for breakfast?! Mine was burned, anyway.
BobNo way, eh? I also picked out the tree. It was a beauty, eh?
DougToo bad the van set it on fire, eh?
BobYeah, too bad. Then we found another good one, and cut it down.
DougIt was a beauty. It was too big to fit in the van with all the beer in there, though.
BobYeah, so we had to drink it all before putting the tree in back. All 12 cases worth.
DougToo bad we were too drunk to go home.
BobI like camping in the woods, though.
DougMe too, but not in December in the Great White North. It's too cold, eh?
BobYeah, and then when you woke up, you took a leak on the tree we cut down.
DougBut you took a leak on my sleeping bag, eh?!
BobTake off, you hoser!

Twelve Days Of Christmas

Ok, every year, lots of people start asking for the lyrics to our Christmas song, The Twelve Days Of Christmas. So we put them on The Hoser, this year, and gave them their own section, even. So, anyway, here's the Twelve Days Of Christmas.

Strange Brew 2

Good day, eh? It took a year, but we've finally finished writing the script for our new movie, eh? Read the article that appeared in the Toronto Sun (and on