|September, 1999||Weather: Don't worry about the weather this month, eh? The new shows come out on TV, and you won't have time to go outside, eh?|
|Vol. 2, No. 12|
by Doug McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor
|Bob||Okay, good day, welcome to the Hoser.|
|Doug||How's it goin', eh?|
|Bob||Today the topic is, like, minivans.|
|Doug||Yeah. Tell your story, hoser.|
|Bob||Okay. Our van broke down, eh? The mechanic found most of our dashboard missing, and the brake line tied together with duct tape, plus a piece of backbacon stuck in the carburator, eh? And he said, "this van is, like, hosed, eh? Buy a new one!"|
|Doug||Or something like that.|
|Bob||So then we went to the used car place, and there's lots of vans there. But only one problem.|
|Doug||They're all minivans! What's the deal with minivans, eh? You don't see minibeers, do you?|
|Bob||Yeah, they're small, but there's not much in them, so, you need, like, 24 to get drunk.|
|Doug||So not much difference than other beer, eh?|
|Doug||So, uh, minivans. They seat, like, ten people, but there's not enough room to put beer for ten people.|
|Bob||I know! We had a nice big van, and could store, like, 50 cases of two-four in the back.|
|Doug||And why would we want to drive around ten people anyway? Don't use our minivan, you nobks who want a ride!|
|Bob||Yeah. Go get a taxi or ride the bus or something!|
|Doug||Yeah. Take off. Anyway, we had that van for 25 years, and some of these so-called minivans are only a couple years old. So some hoser drives this thing to the beer store, like, twice, then sells it for a new one.|
|Bob||Hosers. Maybe we can fix the van ourselves, eh? The mechanic probably knows the guy who sells the minivans.|
|Doug||Good point, eh? Just don't fry backbacon on the engine this time. And buy the really good duct tape, too.|
|Bob||Okay, eh? I guess since we've gotta fix the van, that's the show for today. Good day.|
|Doug||Good day, eh?|
Good day, eh? Any news about our new movie, and, like, anything else about us will be posted on our News page before we put it here, eh? So, like, maybe you want to bookmark it, or something, so you'll know, like, which beer stores to go to, eh?
Howzit goin'? They're still showing SCTV in Canada on The Comedy Network, eh? Or at least until November, and sometimes on NBC in the USA, too. Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?
|CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION|
THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.
My main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie.
Send me your questions or comments about anything on the site to firstname.lastname@example.org. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about.
Copyright ©1997-1999 Chris "Bob" Odorjan