|August, 1999||Weather: There's meteors this month, eh? So go get some donuts and coffee, stay up real late, then take a day off of work. People can't blame you cause they think you're an astrophysicist in your spare time, eh?|
|Vol. 2, No. 11|
by Doug McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor
|Bob||Okay, good day, welcome to the Hoser.|
|Doug||How's it goin', eh?|
|Bob||Today the topic is CD players.|
|Doug||We wanted tunes in our van, eh? But, like, all our 8-tracks are wrecked, and they don't make new ones, so we wanted to put a CD player in the van.|
|Bob||Yeah. First things first, here's what not to do.|
|Doug||All the stuff my brother Bob did (SNORK!)|
|Bob||Hose off, you nobk. Okay, when you're putting a CD player in the van, first make sure it's made for a car, eh?|
|Doug||Don't buy a five disc changer like we did, and then try to wedge it into that little slot.|
|Bob||And even if you do, don't use a sledgehammer to make a hole big enough for it to fit.|
|Doug||Yeah. You lose most of your dashboard that way.|
|Bob||And especially don't use the sledgehammer to jam the changer into the hole.|
|Doug||Okay, so we'd be out, like, fifty dollars, if we didn't steal the changer, eh?|
|Bob||Take off! You're not supposed to tell them that!|
|Doug||Well, where else do you figure we could get a changer? You spend all our profits on beer, eh?|
|Bob||Me? Take off! Maybe I buy the beer, but you drink it. He's a hoser, eh? He had a whole case before doing this issue of The Hoser, eh?|
|Doug||Did not! I only had 23, you had one.|
|Bob||Yeah, like I should have got more, eh?|
|Doug||Take off. You're a hoser.|
|Bob||You're a hoser.|
|Doug||And you're a nobk, too.|
|Bob||Hose off! Folks, if you're putting a CD player in the van, don't do what Doug did. Cause he's a mega-hoser.|
|Doug||Nice comeback. Good day.|
|Bob||Good day, eh?|
Those nobks! They said they'd pay us, like, ten bucks each to do our movie, but then the money wasn't there when we started filming! So we're gonna sue them, eh? Go to the Canoe article for more info, eh? Or use the new Strange Brew 2 News Page, eh?
Howzit goin'? They'll be showing SCTV in Canada on The Comedy Network at least until November, eh, and sometimes on NBC in the USA, too. Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?
|CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION|
THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.
My main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie.
Send me your questions or comments about anything on the site to email@example.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about.
Copyright ©1997-1999 Chris "Bob" Odorjan