August, 1999 The Hoser Weather: There's meteors this month, eh? So go get some donuts and coffee, stay up real late, then take a day off of work. People can't blame you cause they think you're an astrophysicist in your spare time, eh?
Vol. 2, No. 11

Putting a CD Player in the Van

by Doug McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobOkay, good day, welcome to the Hoser.
DougHow's it goin', eh?
BobToday the topic is CD players.
DougWe wanted tunes in our van, eh? But, like, all our 8-tracks are wrecked, and they don't make new ones, so we wanted to put a CD player in the van.
BobYeah. First things first, here's what not to do.
DougAll the stuff my brother Bob did (SNORK!)
BobHose off, you nobk. Okay, when you're putting a CD player in the van, first make sure it's made for a car, eh?
DougDon't buy a five disc changer like we did, and then try to wedge it into that little slot.
BobAnd even if you do, don't use a sledgehammer to make a hole big enough for it to fit.
DougYeah. You lose most of your dashboard that way.
BobAnd especially don't use the sledgehammer to jam the changer into the hole.
DougOkay, so we'd be out, like, fifty dollars, if we didn't steal the changer, eh?
BobTake off! You're not supposed to tell them that!
DougWell, where else do you figure we could get a changer? You spend all our profits on beer, eh?
BobMe? Take off! Maybe I buy the beer, but you drink it. He's a hoser, eh? He had a whole case before doing this issue of The Hoser, eh?
DougDid not! I only had 23, you had one.
BobYeah, like I should have got more, eh?
DougTake off. You're a hoser.
BobYou're a hoser.
DougAnd you're a nobk, too.
BobHose off! Folks, if you're putting a CD player in the van, don't do what Doug did. Cause he's a mega-hoser.
DougNice comeback. Good day.
BobGood day, eh?

Strange Brew 2

Those nobks! They said they'd pay us, like, ten bucks each to do our movie, but then the money wasn't there when we started filming! So we're gonna sue them, eh? Go to the Canoe article for more info, eh? Or use the new Strange Brew 2 News Page, eh?

SCTV Reruns

Howzit goin'? They'll be showing SCTV in Canada on The Comedy Network at least until November, eh, and sometimes on NBC in the USA, too. Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?