The Hoser

February, 1998		Weather: If Doug gets up and sees his shadow, it means 6 more beers 'till we have to go to the Beer Store.
Vol. 1, No. 5

February - The Shortest Month

by Doug McKenzie, Editor

-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor

Doug	Ok, it's me, Doug, and so it's like February, eh? And like, people say February sucks, since it's the shortest month. I think it's ok, though, 'cause it has Groundhog Day. And like, when my hosehead brother Bob wakes up on Groundhog Day, and sees his shadow, it means he's hung over, and won't be able to get up for 6 weeks.
Bob	No, you hoser! I wasn't the one hung over this morning, you were, eh? So, you shouldn't be writing this paper, you can't even be a paperboy.
Doug	Did I ever tell the story of when we were paperboys, back when we were like, 10 years old?
Bob	Oh, take off! We were not paperboys!
Doug	Ok, it doesn't matter. Another good thing about February, is Valentine's day. This is the day that you give your true love a box of chocolates. So like, this beer here is my true love, but like, it can't eat chocolates, eh? So it gives them to me. That's why this beer is my true love.
Bob	Let me apologize to my brother, Doug, for saying he was hung over. He's not, eh?
Doug	Oh, geez... You're being nice all of the sudden. You want some chocolate beer, too, hosehead?
Bob	He's not hung over, he's still drunk!
Doug	Oh, take off!

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Copyright ©1997, 1998 Chris "Bob" Odorjan