September, 1998 | Weather: Even though summer's almost over, don't leave beer outside. It'll explode. | |
Vol. 1, No. 12 |
by Doug McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor
Bob | Okay, good day, and welcome to the Hoser. |
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Doug | Good day, eh? |
Bob | Okay. Today the topic is... um... what was it again? |
Doug | Jeepers. How many beers did you have before? |
Bob | Wha? |
Doug | Okay, folks. My brother Bob is loaded, and gone. So I'm doing the Hoser this month. |
Bob | Take off! I remember the topic now. Beer caps. |
Doug | No, hosehead! We said, like, yesterday, that our topic was bottle openers. |
Bob | Geez. Same thing, hoser. |
Doug | Okay. Like, 15 years ago, American beer used to come with twist off beer caps, and Canadians didn't. |
Bob | Yeah, and we explained it on our show. There's less alcohol in American beer, so they have to drink it faster to get the same effect, so they made twist offs. |
Doug | But now, Canadian beer has twist offs, too. So, like, what are you going to do with your bottle openers now that we don't need them? |
Bob | They still make regular, non-twist off, bottles, eh, hoser? |
Doug | They do not. Do they? |
Bob | Yeah, I spent, like, two hours trying to twist off a beer cap once, and later I found out it wasn't a twist off, eh? |
Doug | Jeepers. Well, there goes our topic, eh? I take it back, folks. You still need church keys and openers, eh? |
Bob | You're a hoser. Like, you gotta know something about the topic before you open your mouth, eh? |
Doug | At least I didn't forget the topic, hosehead! |
Bob | Yeah, well, take off! |
CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION. |
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The Hoser |
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BobNET NewsMy main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie. |
Contact BobSend me your questions or comments about anything on the site to codorjan@gmail.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about. |
Copyright ©1997, 1998 Chris "Bob" Odorjan