August, 1998 The Hoser Weather: Hosehead took the van to a car wash, and heard the antenna gettin bent off by a big soaper machine, right, so he gets out to fix it and gets soaked.
Vol. 1, No. 11

How to Keep Beer Cold, eh?

by Bob McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobGood day, welcome to the...
DougCoo roo coo coo coo, roo coo coo!
BobGeez. What the?
DougCoo roo coo coo coo, roo coo coo!
BobWhat're you doing, hoser? We're not on TV, and the people out there in readerland can't hear you!
DougOh, sorry, eh? I thought we were doing the show.
BobWell, decent. Good day, welcome to the Hoser, today our topic is keeping beer cold in the summer.
DougWe're doing this topic, cause we know that it's something that's on everyone's mind.
BobYeah, ok. So, like, in the winter, all you have to do, is put the beer in the garage, and it'll stay cold, cause it's snowing out, and the garage is, um... cold, eh?
DougYeah, but now, in the summer, it's too warm, and beer will get too hot in there, and it'll explode!
BobTake off! It will not.
DougYeah, haven't you ever seen that? Just yesterday you handed me a warm beer from the garage, and it exploded on me.
BobThat's because I shook it up first.
DougTake off! You're a hoser!
BobYeah, you got soaked, eh? Anyway, we're almost out of space in the paper this month.
DougOk, I'll type fast. Ok... to keep beer cold in the summer, put it in the fridge, eh?
BobAnd if you're camping, or somewhere where there's no fridge, use a cooler with some ice.
DougJust don't put beer in the freezer, cause it'll explode. Hosehead here got me a beer that was in the freezer like last week, and I got soaked.
BobThat's cause I shook it up first.
DougAw, take off!