|October, 2007||Weather: It's nice out, so open the windows on the van on the way to the donut shop.|
|Vol. 11, No. 1|
by Bob McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor
|Bob||Good day, how's it goin'? I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my brother Doug.|
|Doug||How's it goin', eh?|
|Bob||Welcome to our tenth anniversary issue!|
|Doug||Yeah, we started writing the Hoser ten years ago this month.|
|Bob||Well, not really. We had the original Hoser in our album, eh? Which was what? Ten... fifteen... twenty-five... twenty-six years ago!|
|Doug||Geez, we're old.|
|Doug||Oh yeah! And you're in the prime of youth!|
|Bob||I am! I can still drink a two-four and get up in the morning!|
|Doug||So? So can I!|
|Bob||The next morning.|
|Doug||Oh, okay. Anyways, it only came with the LP. Hosers who bought the CD don't get it.|
|Bob||Don't get what? All the scratches that LPs had?|
|Doug||Yeah, well... NO! The Daily Hoser.|
|Bob||Okay, okay. Anyways, welcome to our tenth anniversary issue.|
|Doug||Tenth... hey, wait. Aren't we retired?|
|Bob||We are, but it's also our first rerun issue!|
|Doug||Oh yeah! (pause) Then why are we here?|
|Bob||Uh, cause look at the size of this month's issue.|
|Doug||Oh geez! It's real tiny, eh!|
|Bob||Yeah, they weren't very long back then, so we gotta embellish.|
|Doug||We coulda just used a bigger font size.|
|Doug||Kids today can do that on their book reports, eh!|
|Doug||When the teacher says "make a ten-page book report" they can just use a big font and only write a few paragraphs.|
|Bob||Geez. We didn't even have typewriters back when we was in school.|
|Doug||Yeah, we had to write things by hand. Good thing we never had to write The Hoser that way.|
|Bob||We had our hands free for beer and backbacon.|
|Doug||And donuts. Don't forget donuts.|
|Bob||Yeah. So that's it for the tenth anniversary issue of The Hoser. Good day.|
|Doug||Good day, and welcome to Reruns: starring Bob McKenzie, where he'll keep doing the same dumb things over and over again. Sorta like real life.|
|Bob||Take off! You hoser!|
by Doug McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor
(This article originally appeared in October, 1997)
G'day, and welcome to our new online newspaper, eh? Since we're like famous now, eh, we had enough money to buy a computer, but on our way to the computer store, we passed a Brewers Retail, and the grocery store that stocks back bacon, so my hosehead brother ate and drank up all the profits instead! Take off! I did not! You ate and drank too! So now we had to put this on some other hoser's site instead of our own!
So, we have all sorts of neat stuff, eh? Like a whole ton of sound clips (featured in Section B) and pictures from Great White North, our TV show; Strange Brew, our movie; and from our album, which is titled "Bob & Doug McKenzie" (go figure, eh?) And like, if you have any other ideas, just go to the Feedback page, eh!
And we hope to release a new issue each month, eh? So like, this is Volume 1, Number 1, and next month, it will be Volume 1, Number 2... so this is like a real newspaper, eh? And this front page will have info on our latest accomplishments, which aren't really much, eh?
by Bob and Doug McKenzie
How's it goin', eh? Our Two-Four Anniversary Special, which aired on CBC back in the spring, is gonna be out on DVD on November 20! This special edition will be twice as long as the TV version, and includes more interviews, celebrity hoser calls, and as a bonus: seven Great White North segments from SCTV!
|CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION|
THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.
My main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie.
Send me your questions or comments about anything on the site to email@example.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about.
Copyright ©1997-2007 Chris "Bob" Odorjan