October, 2007 The Hoser Weather: It's nice out, so open the windows on the van on the way to the donut shop.
Vol. 11, No. 1

Ten Years Of The Hoser

by Bob McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobGood day, how's it goin'? I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my brother Doug.
DougHow's it goin', eh?
BobWelcome to our tenth anniversary issue!
DougYeah, we started writing the Hoser ten years ago this month.
BobWell, not really. We had the original Hoser in our album, eh? Which was what? Ten... fifteen... twenty-five... twenty-six years ago!
DougGeez, we're old.
BobYou're old.
DougOh yeah! And you're in the prime of youth!
BobI am! I can still drink a two-four and get up in the morning!
DougSo? So can I!
BobThe next morning.
DougOh, okay. Anyways, it only came with the LP. Hosers who bought the CD don't get it.
BobDon't get what? All the scratches that LPs had?
DougYeah, well... NO! The Daily Hoser.
BobOkay, okay. Anyways, welcome to our tenth anniversary issue.
DougTenth... hey, wait. Aren't we retired?
BobWe are, but it's also our first rerun issue!
DougOh yeah! (pause) Then why are we here?
BobUh, cause look at the size of this month's issue.
DougOh geez! It's real tiny, eh!
BobYeah, they weren't very long back then, so we gotta embellish.
DougWe coulda just used a bigger font size.
BobYou know...
DougKids today can do that on their book reports, eh!
BobWhat's that?
DougWhen the teacher says "make a ten-page book report" they can just use a big font and only write a few paragraphs.
BobGeez. We didn't even have typewriters back when we was in school.
DougYeah, we had to write things by hand. Good thing we never had to write The Hoser that way.
BobWe had our hands free for beer and backbacon.
DougAnd donuts. Don't forget donuts.
BobYeah. So that's it for the tenth anniversary issue of The Hoser. Good day.
DougGood day, and welcome to Reruns: starring Bob McKenzie, where he'll keep doing the same dumb things over and over again. Sorta like real life.
BobTake off! You hoser!

Bob and Doug Launch The Hoser

by Doug McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor 

(This article originally appeared in October, 1997)

G'day, and welcome to our new online newspaper, eh? Since we're like famous now, eh, we had enough money to buy a computer, but on our way to the computer store, we passed a Brewers Retail, and the grocery store that stocks back bacon, so my hosehead brother ate and drank up all the profits instead! Take off! I did not! You ate and drank too! So now we had to put this on some other hoser's site instead of our own!

So, we have all sorts of neat stuff, eh? Like a whole ton of sound clips (featured in Section B) and pictures from Great White North, our TV show; Strange Brew, our movie; and from our album, which is titled "Bob & Doug McKenzie" (go figure, eh?) And like, if you have any other ideas, just go to the Feedback page, eh!

And we hope to release a new issue each month, eh? So like, this is Volume 1, Number 1, and next month, it will be Volume 1, Number 2... so this is like a real newspaper, eh? And this front page will have info on our latest accomplishments, which aren't really much, eh?

Two-Four Anniversary On DVD

by Bob and Doug McKenzie

How's it goin', eh? Our Two-Four Anniversary Special, which aired on CBC back in the spring, is gonna be out on DVD on November 20! This special edition will be twice as long as the TV version, and includes more interviews, celebrity hoser calls, and as a bonus: seven Great White North segments from SCTV!