March, 2007 The Hoser Weather: It'll be warm, then cold, then warm, then cold again. It's probably not a good idea to keep your beer outside this month.
Vol. 10, No. 6

Used RV Salesmen

by Bob McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobOkay, good day, I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my brother Doug.
DougHow's it goin', eh?
BobSo welcome to our driveway...
DougNo take off! This is the sales lot!
BobOh yeah, yeah! Welcome to our sales lot, here at McKenzie Brothers' Used RV and Trailer Sales! I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my sales associate Doug.
DougYou already introduced us.
BobNo way, this is our commercial, eh!
DougOh, right. Hi, folks! I'm Doug McKenzie, owner and general manager of McKenzie Brothers' Used RV and Trailer Sales, and...
BobNo, take off! Why you get to be the owner and general manager?!
Doug"Why you get to be"?
BobWhy do you get to be the owner and...
DougCause I'm older, eh!
BobGet out, I have more experience selling stuff.
DougYou? What did you sell?
BobI sold your hockey card collection when you were ten years old.
DougYeah, well... what? Wait a minute. You said they accidentally caught fire!
BobUm. Yeah, they caught fire.
DougYou just said...
BobThey caught fire, then I sold them.
BobSo yeah, I'm better at selling stuff. That's why I get to be the owner and general manager and you're just a sales associate.
DougI'd like to point out that none of our trailers have caught fire before we sold them.
BobSome caught fire after we sold them.
DougTake off! Don't tell them that!
BobAnd that one over there had a stove catch fire inside it, but technically the trailer itself didn't catch fire.
DougAnyone wanna buy a stove? Uh. As is.
BobSo over here (points to a beat-up old RV sitting in the driveway) is our latest model. It's uh. Tan. And brown. And it, uh, drives around.
DougBeauty description, eh!
BobWell, it should drive around. It's really got no engine, but we're gonna modify it so it can be towed.
DougSo correction: it's a trailer, not an RV.
BobTwo thousand bucks or best offer.
DougBeauty price, too. And over here (points to an even more beat-up old trailer on the other side of the driveway) is our latest acquisition.
BobYeah, it's uh, white, and has one tire! A great security measure if you suspect one of your neighbours is looking to steal it.
DougAnd it's got a fridge and a stove, too!
BobOh yeah! And the fridge works!
DougSo this one is a real steal of a deal!
BobNo, take off! Don't say "steal"!
DougWhy not?
BobCause uh...
DougOh yeah, we took this one out of the junkyard!
BobNo, get out! It was ours to begin with!
DougRight, right. This uh, we got this one from the trailer park itself.
BobYeah, the guy there said we could take it, before it uh. Got towed.
DougHe was the park manager, or something.
BobWas he?
DougI don't know, I never asked.
BobAnyway, so yeah, it was ours so we had every right to break into that junkyard.
DougNo, no, we didn't break in!
BobYeah we... I mean, no! And don't call it a junkyard. We don't sell junk here at McKenzie Brothers' Used RV and Trailer Sales.
DougNo, it was a uh, metal recycling yard it got took to. Not a junkyard.
BobAnd it's very environmentally friendly.
DougYes: by storing those old cars and trailers there, they're preventing oil from leaking into our nation's campgrounds.
BobI'd also like to take this opretunity to...
Doug"Opretunity"?! Have you been sniffing the fumes coming from that trailer?
BobFumes? No, our trailers don't have fumes here at McKenzie Brothers' Used RV and Trailer Sales.
DougSupplying fumes is your responsibility.
BobYeah. So anyway, I'd like to take this opportunity to announce our new business venture into warehousing. So to that guy who left all his tools in the one RV, you can now come get them at McKenzie Brothers' Self-Storage and Warehousing, uh, Sales.
DougYeah, yeah. For the low-low price of $31.95. Per month.
BobNo, week. Wait, why $31.95?
DougCause that's the price of a case of beer.
BobOh beauty. So yeah, come on down today to McKenzie Brothers' Used RV and Trailer Sales!
DougPlus Self-Storage and Warehousi...
voice from the houseHey! Did you two hosers get those pieces of junk off my driveway?!
Bob(to the voice) Not yet, dad!
DougWe will though: we just recorded a commercial!
Mr. McKenzieYou idiots! Just get them out of there!
Bob(whispering) Geez, he's real ticked off, eh!
DougYeah. I guess we gotta go.
BobOkay, so good day.
DougGood day, eh!