| August, 2005 |  |
Weather: It's really hot this month and everyone's got their air conditioners on full blast right so do your part to conserve power and go down to the Beer Store eh and buy lots of beer so there's less for them to keep cool and then you also have an excuse to keep the air conditioner in the van on during the ride back, eh! |
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| Vol. 8, No. 11 |
by Doug McKenzie, Editor 
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor 
| Bob | Okay, good day, I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my brother Doug. |
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| Doug | How's it goin', eh? |
| Bob | Aw! We gotta start over, eh! |
| Doug | Huh? What for? |
| Bob | Cause the topic this month is Mexican Night. |
| Doug | Oh, right. |
| Bob | So, uh. Buenos días, I'm Bob McKenzie... no! José McKenzie, and this is my brother Pablo. |
| Doug | Pablo?! |
| Bob | Yeah! I mean: Sí! |
| Doug | Don't get confused, eh! I'm really Doug McKenzie and he's really Bob. He just thinks he's Mexican now cause we went through the drive-thru at Taco Bell to get dinner. |
| Bob | Take off! I'm José! |
| Doug | Shouldn't that be written with the upside-down exclamation mark? |
| Bob | ¿You mean like this? |
| Doug | Well, that's a question mark but yeah. |
| Bob | So anyway, we got some burritos and tacos but we didn't order any drinks. We got those at the Beer Store. |
| Doug | As usual. |
| Bob | So here's some Mexican beer. (looks at bottle) Cerveza. |
| Doug | Who's he? |
| Bob | Huh? He who? |
| Doug | Sir Veza! |
| Bob | What the? No, look! (hands Doug the bottle and points) Cerveza. |
| Doug | Oh, what's that mean? |
| Bob | Beer, I think. |
| Doug | Ah, so when we're in Mexico we can order some. |
| Bob | Do they have Beer Stores there? |
| Doug | No, I think they sell it at Taco Bell. |
| Bob | Taco Bell?! |
| Doug | Yeah! |
| Bob | In Mexico? |
| Doug | Yeah! |
| Bob | Why? |
| Doug | Well there's Kentucky Fried Chicken places in Kentucky, I don't see why they can't have a Taco Bell in Mexico. |
| Bob | Beauty. |
| Doug | Yeah, I'm gonna try this taco. (takes a bite) Tastes beauty to me! |
| Bob | Gimme that! |
| Doug | No way, get your own! |
| Bob | Hoser. (removes a burrito from the paper bag and takes a bite) Wow, that's pretty good. You know what would be good on these? |
| Doug | What, guacamole? |
| Bob | I bet you can't spell that. |
| Doug | Oh yeah! I'll bet a beer! A Sir Veza! |
| Bob | Okay, go for it. |
| Doug | G-W-A... |
| Bob | You lose. (takes the beer from in front of Doug) |
| Doug | What? How do you know? |
| Bob | See, it says so on the little packet. (shows Doug) |
| Doug | Geez. |
| Bob | So you know what would be good on these? |
| Doug | What's that? |
| Bob | Back bacon. |
| Doug | No way, take off. That's Canadian. |
| Bob | So? It'd still taste good. |
| Doug | Yeah, probably. And cheese. With a bun instead of a tortilla. And no beef or beans. |
| Bob | I think you just reinvented the back bacon on a bun sandwich. |
| Doug | Yeah, and we'll sell it at our own fast food place. |
| Bob | Yeah, McKenzie's. Billions and billions served. |
| Together | SNORK! |
| Doug | Hi, kids! I'm Ronald McKenzie! |
| Bob | Oh no! It's the Beerburglar! |
| Doug | Robble-robble! (takes his beer back from Bob) |
| Together | SNORK! |
| Bob | (looks down) Hey wait a minute. |
| Doug | (finishing his taco) Geez, these are really good. |
| Bob | Yeah, we gotta have Mexican night more often. |
| Doug | There's a lot of beans on these, though. |
| Bob | I know, they're gonna... |
| SFX | farting noises |
| Bob | AARRGGHH!! GEEZ! (pulls shirt over face) |
| Doug | (amused look on face) What? Oh geez! (pulls his own shirt over his face) |
| Bob | What'd you do that for? |
| Doug | It wasn't me, it was the beans! |
| Bob | (waving his arms around) I'm gettin' out. That's the show for this month. Hopefully the house gets aired out before the next one. Good day. (gets up and takes Doug's beer) |
| Doug | Good day. Oh man. (pulls his shirt back down and sniffs the air) OH GEEZ! |
by Bob and Doug McKenzie
Okay, good day, we got some real good news for you! The show we were first on, SCTV, is out on DVD now, eh! Like now there's three volumes out, covering the whole fourth season when we did our best work! And the fourth volume comes out next month, so take back your empties so you can afford to buy them, eh!
![[CCIC]](../ccic.png) | CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION. |
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The Hoser |
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