| April, 2002 |  |
Weather: Because the ice and snow and stuff is melting the ground is heaving and there's lots of potholes, eh, so watch out for them. They knock hubcaps and mufflers off cars, so when you find a pothole, check the side of the road for some free stuff, eh? |
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| Vol. 5, No. 7 |
by Bob McKenzie, Editor 
-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 
| Bob | Good day, and welcome to the Hoser. I'm Bob McKenzie and this is... um, Doug's out getting us some more beer right now, so we're gonna play an April fool's joke on him. So this month's topic is, um, April Fools I guess. Ok, so here's our last beer, and I'm gonna drink it. |
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| You | That's a lame gag, Bob. |
| Bob | Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna replace it with water. |
| You | Oh, okay, then. |
| Bob | (leaves room and fills bottle in the sink then returns) Ok, this is a good one, eh? (puts cap on bottle) |
| SFX | door opening |
| Doug | (walking in with a full case) Hey, am I late? (sits down) |
| Bob | No, I was just about to start without you, eh? |
| Doug | Don't do that! There's no beer left! |
| Bob | I saved one for you, eh? |
| Doug | Oh, thanks. |
| Bob | Ok, ready? |
| Doug | Yeah, let's go. |
| Bob | Good day, and welcome to the Hoser. I'm Bob McKenzie and this is my brother Doug. |
| Doug | How's it goin', eh? (opens beer) |
| Bob | Um, it's goin' pretty good, eh? |
| Doug | (takes swig) ACK! What the?!?! |
| Bob | SNORK! |
| Doug | Water!? YOU HOSER! |
| Bob | HA HA! April Fool, Doug! |
| Doug | Take off! You're always hosin' me with my beer. (grabs new beer from case next to him) |
| Bob | Ok, hand me one too, eh? |
| Doug | No way, eh? You drank my beer and replaced it with water. |
| Bob | Aw c'mon. It's April Fool's day. |
| Doug | Um, okay, then. (takes beer out and hands it to Bob) |
| Bob | Wha? You're not gonna argue? |
| Doug | Naw, like you said, it's April Fool's day. |
| Bob | You didn't shake it up, did you? |
| Doug | No, open it. It's fine. |
| Bob | No way, hand me another one. |
| Doug | Geez, you don't believe me. |
| Bob | No I don't! |
| Doug | Fine, here's your beer. (gives him another bottle) |
| Bob | Thanks. (twists cap off) |
| SFX | beer spraying over Bob |
| Bob | AAAAAAHHH!!!! |
| Doug | I was hoping you'd do that! April Fool! |
| Bob | What was that? Revenge for all the beerhunter games you lost? |
| Doug | No, that was revenge for the water in my beer. I heard you talking to the reader before I came in the room and shook that one up. |
| Bob | Geez. You hoser. I guess this one's okay, then. (twists cap off his original beer) |
| SFX | more beer spraying over Bob |
| Bob | AAAAAAHHH!!!! |
| Doug | That was revenge for beerhunter. |
| Bob | Take off you hoser! |
by Bob and Doug McKenzie
Ok, right now SCTV is only on in Canada on the Comedy Network. If you like live in the states, then you're hosed, eh? They were showing it, but now it's gone, so you're gonna have to watch it on tape or imagine it's still on or whatever. But if you live in Canada, then you should be watching the episodes, eh! Cause like it might go off the air here sometime too. Either way, go check the SCTV News page or SCTV: On The Air! to find the air times, or in case something changed, eh?!
![[CCIC]](../ccic.png) | CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION. |
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The Hoser |
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BobNET NewsMy main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie. |
Contact BobSend me your questions or comments about anything on the site to codorjan@gmail.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about. |
Copyright ©1997-2002 Chris "Bob" Odorjan