| March, 2001 |  |
Weather: Expect snow, freezing rain, rain, wind, and sunshine this month. Basically, March is every other month of Canadian weather rolled into one. |
|---|---|---|
| Vol. 4, No. 6 |
| March, 2001 | |
Weather: Expect snow, freezing rain, rain, wind, and sunshine this month. Basically, March is every other month of Canadian weather rolled into one. |
|---|---|---|
| Vol. 4, No. 6 |
by Bob McKenzie, Editor 
-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 
| Bob | Good day, welcome to the Hoser. |
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| Doug | How's it goin', eh? |
| Bob | Okay, you know those shows... |
| Doug | Hey. |
| Bob | Take off. Those shows... |
| Doug | Hoser. |
| Bob | Take off! Let me finish. |
| Doug | No way, eh? |
| Bob | Why are you being difficult? |
| Doug | You forgot the topic. |
| Bob | Geez. Just because I didn't say "today the topic is" doesn't mean there isn't one. |
| Doug | You always start that way. Why change now? |
| Bob | Ok. Start over. |
| Doug | I don't think we can. |
| Bob | Whatever. Today the topic is my hosehead brother Doug. |
| Doug | Wait, stop! That wasn't the topic we discussed before, eh? |
| Bob | Hoser. The real topic is reality-based TV. These are shows like Survivor where they drop people off on a tropical island or something and hope they can live without beer. |
| Doug | No wonder it's called Survivor. |
| Bob | Yeah. Each week a new guy gets voted off the island, so he loses. |
| Doug | Not if he can drink beer again! |
| Bob | Right. But here's the deal. We do that now! |
| Doug | We do? |
| Bob | Yeah! |
| Doug | Really? |
| Bob | Yeah! |
| Doug | Does that mean I win a million dollars? |
| Bob | No. Get out. What I mean is, if we screw up, like lose our dad's beer money or something, he'll vote us out of the house, eh? |
| Doug | Oh, like that. So we win, like, nothing, then. |
| Bob | No, we get a place to sleep, too. |
| Doug | I can sleep in the van, eh? |
| Bob | We get food, too. |
| Doug | I bought this back bacon myself. |
| Bob | Yeah, with dad's beer money! |
| Doug | Take off! How'd you pay for that beer? |
| Bob | Uh. I took back some empties. |
| Doug | What, you mean those empties over there? That's still a huge pile. |
| Bob | There could be some missing, you don't know. |
| Doug | Take off. I'm voting you off my island. |
| Bob | Oh! Your island? Which island's that? |
| Doug | Uh, like, Flin Flon. |
| Bob | Flin Flon?!?! That's not an island! |
| Doug | Is too. |
| Bob | It's a town in Manitoba! You don't know the islands! You don't know nothing! |
| Doug | Take off. You're voted out. Go, leave! |
| Bob | Fine, I'm taking my beer with me! (starts walking away with a case of two-four under his arm) |
| Doug | No, wait, come back! That's my beer! |
| Bob | No way, eh? |
| Doug | Ok, looks like this issue of The Hoser is over. Hoser. Over. Neat. |
| Bob | Take off! |
| SFX | Door slams. |
| Doug | Geez. What a hoser! Ok, I gotta get my beer. Good day, folks! (leaves) |
Ok, eh? The back issues are up, but the really early ones aren't yet. We know where they are, just that we have to return the empties that are stacked on top of them first.
Good day, eh? NBC is showing SCTV in the former "Later" timeslot, which is usually Monday to Thursday, 1:35am to 2:05am. Check your listings, and find out when it's on. Who knows what episodes will be on, but maybe we'll be there, eh? The Comedy Network in Canada is still showing the syndicated episodes of SCTV, and maybe sometimes two different ones a day. Maybe they're in order, too. Check out the SCTV page and the SCTV News page for more info, eh?
![[CCIC]](../ccic.png) | CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION. |
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The Hoser |
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BobNET NewsMy main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie. |
Contact BobSend me your questions or comments about anything on the site to codorjan@gmail.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about. |
Copyright ©1997-2001 Chris "Bob" Odorjan