February, 2001 The Hoser Weather: It's real cold in February, so wear gloves so your hands don't get frozen when you're holding a cold beer.
Vol. 4, No. 5

Doug The Beerhog

by Doug McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobGood day, welcome to the Hoser.
DougHow's it goin', eh?
BobThis month our topic is, uh, groundhogs.
DougWhat? Why?
BobUm. Cause it's February.
DougIt is?
BobYeah. It was January, now it's February.
DougGeez. I must have slept through most of January, eh?
BobStill recovering from the New Year's hangover?
DougYeah.
BobOk! Anyway, the topic this month is groundhogs.
DougDidn't we do that one already?
BobNo. Maybe we talked about it, but I don't think it's ever been our topic.
DougYou sure, hoser?
BobYeah! Well, not really, eh?
DougI thought not!
BobGeez. Back to our topic. Groundhogs.
DougHand me a beer, will ya?
BobMore beer. What are you? The beerhog? (hands beer to Doug)
DougYeah. Ok, eh? (opens beer)
BobLook at this! I've got, like, 2 empties in front of me. And you've got, uh, two and four is six. Six empties. And you're drinking another one! You are a beerhog!
DougTake off! I'm just a little thirsty, eh? (takes swig)
BobAt this rate, I'm gonna have to open a new case!
DougNo need to get all uppity about it. You want this one? (hands beer back to Bob)
BobNo way, eh? You already drank from it!
DougWell, if that's the way you feel about it... (tips head back and chugs beer, emptying the bottle)
BobHoly. Um. Anyway, what was the topic?
DougUrp. That was a beauty.
BobHey.
DougWhat?
BobI asked you a question.
DougOh. Uh, beerhog.
BobNo, take off. Groundhogs.
DougYeah, groundhogs.
BobSo anyway, the topic this month is groundhogs.
DougI don't think we have space.
BobSure we do. Groundhogs live in the ground all winter, and only come out on February 2nd.
DougOh, good timing. This page'll be up for a whole month, and you're talking about the second day.
BobWell, it's a short month.
DougUm. Ok, good one!
BobYeah, so the groundhog comes out, sees his shadow, and then there's another six weeks of winter. Good day.
DougWait! What happens if he doesn't see his shadow?
BobThen it's only another month and a half of winter.
DougTake off! They're the same thing!
BobI was making a joke.
DougHoser. What's it really mean?
BobI don't know. Maybe we can research that for a future topic.
DougRight. You want me to open this case?
BobYeah, forget the groundhog. Gimme a beer.
DougOk, eh? (hands Bob a new beer)

Back Issues

Ok, eh? The back issues are up, but the really early ones aren't yet. We know where they are, just that we have to return the empties that are stacked on top of them first.

SCTV Reruns in USA and Canada

Good day, eh? NBC is showing SCTV in the former "Later" timeslot, which is usually Monday to Thursday, 1:35am to 2:05am. Check your listings, and find out when it's on. Who knows what episodes will be on, but maybe we'll be there, eh? The Comedy Network in Canada is still showing the syndicated episodes of SCTV, and maybe sometimes two different ones a day. Maybe they're in order, too. Check out the SCTV page and the SCTV News page for more info, eh?


[CCIC]
CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION
THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.

Copyright ©1997-2001 Chris "Bob" Odorjan