June, 2000 | Weather: Summer's just around the corner. The Beer Store's just around the corner. Go stock up on beer. | |
Vol. 3, No. 9 |
by Doug McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor
Bob | Okay, good day, welcome to the Hoser. |
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Doug | Howzit goin', eh? |
Bob | Today the topic is food. Go, hoser. |
Doug | Ok, eh? Food is good, unless it's liver or Cheez Whiz. Then it's bad. |
Bob | That's it? |
Doug | Yeah. That's the topic for today... |
Bob | No, take off! We're not done yet! What if you're loaded? Can you eat liver or Cheez Whiz then? |
Doug | I've never had enough alcohol in me to make me eat liver or Cheez Whiz. |
Bob | Gee, that's really saying something. |
Doug | Yeah. |
Bob | So you don't like liver? |
Doug | Right. |
Bob | And you don't like Cheez Whiz? |
Doug | No way, eh? |
Bob | Then what do you like? |
Doug | Backbacon, what else? |
Bob | I know that, and I think all the readers know that. What other things do you eat? |
Doug | Well, occasionally, I enjoy a chicken cordon Swiss, in a light rose sauce, with a lightly buttered asparagus on the side. |
Bob | Wha? |
Doug | Did I just say that? Neat. |
Bob | I don't know what you said. I just eat backbacon sandwiches. |
Doug | Yeah, but we were talking about things other than backbacon. |
Bob | I know. A backbacon sandwich is different, since you've got bread and some mustard on it, eh? |
Doug | Oh, I didn't know you were talking about plain backbacon, I thought you meant all backbacon. |
Bob | No, you got it wrong. |
Doug | Well, then you're a hoser. |
Bob | I'm a hoser? You're a hoser squared! |
Doug | You're a hoser times infinity, you nobk! |
Bob | Take off. |
Doug | Ok, so if you were talking about other things with backbacon in them, I like backbacon and beer. |
Bob | In a sandwich? |
Doug | No, separate. |
Bob | Well, what about the time you put the backbacon on the bread, then poured beer over top? |
Doug | I was loaded! |
Bob | You're loaded now! |
Doug | Well, then maybe I'll make another one. I remember it being pretty good, eh? |
Bob | Ok, folks. While my brother makes himself puke again... |
Doug | Oh, that's right. I threw up after eating that one. Maybe it was the backbacon. |
Bob | Maybe it was the fifteen beers you had before. |
Doug | Naw, couldn't be. |
Bob | Anyway, Doug's going to puke sometime today, and you probably don't want to see it, so good day. |
Doug | Good day, eh? Hey, what about the time you ate a coffee sandwich, eh? |
Bob | Well, that was different. I wasn't loaded. |
Doug | You were, eh? On coffee. |
Bob | Take off! |
Bob | Good day. It's a very good day, cause McFarlane Toys is making action figures based upon us, eh? |
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Doug | Well, I'm an action figure. Bob's just one of the props, eh? |
Bob | Take off. |
Doug | More information can be found here, and there's some pictures here, eh? |
Good day, eh? Any news about our new movie, our action figures, and, like, anything else about us will be posted on our News page before we put it here, eh? So, like, maybe you want to bookmark it, or something, so you'll know, like, which beer stores to go to, eh?
Ok, we got ourselves a server to put back issues on, but we're too cheap to get full time internet access. So, try out The Hoser Back Issues Site, and, like, if they don't work, try again later. That's what happens when you spend more money on beer than on internet. And that's the way it should be, too, eh?
Howzit goin'? They're still showing SCTV in Canada on The Comedy Network, eh? And sometimes on NBC in the USA, too. Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?
CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION. |
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The Hoser |
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BobNET NewsMy main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie. |
Contact BobSend me your questions or comments about anything on the site to codorjan@gmail.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about. |
Copyright ©1997-2000 Chris "Bob" Odorjan