The Hoser

September, 2000		Weather: The weather will start to get cold, since fall begins this month. But it's still too warm to play hockey, so you don't have to clean out your equipment yet.
Vol. 3, No. 12

Canadian Beer Vs. Other Beers

by Doug McKenzie, Editor

-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor

Bob	Good day, welcome to the Hoser.
Doug	(Chugging beer) Mmf?
Bob	Oh, good one, eh?
Doug	Sorry, I was drinking a beer, start over!
Bob	No, we can't start over. Besides, that's our topic.
Doug	Starting over?
Bob	No. Geez. Beer, you nobk!
Doug	Haven't we done that one?
Bob	No, this one's about Canadian beer and other beers.
Doug	Uh, we've done that one too.
Bob	No we haven't!
Doug	Ok, if you say so. I'll just let you do all the talking, since you're an expert, eh?
Bob	Take off. Ok, today the topic is Canadian beer versus other beers.
Doug	Other beers suck! Just drink the Canadian-brewed stuff, and you'll be okay.
Bob	I thought you were going to let the expert talk.
Doug	Yeah, but there isn't one here!
Bob	Hoser.
Doug	Actually, having tried every single type of beer made, I think we're experts by now.
Bob	Yeah, good point. We all know that Canadian beer tastes better, and has more alcohol...
Doug	But you can't taste it. If you could, then it would suck.
Bob	You'd suck it down if it was the only thing there, hosehead.
Doug	Ok, so would you, though.
Bob	Okay, maybe. Let's talk about foreign beers.
Doug	Like American beer?
Bob	No, like stuff made overseas.
Doug	Mexican beer? If you have to drink it with a lime, it isn't beer.
Bob	Mexico's not overseas, is it?
Doug	Yeah, look at this map behind us.
Bob	Wha? We're doing The Hoser, eh? Not the Great White North.
Doug	Okay, pretend there's a map behind us. See between Florida and Mexico?
Bob	Yeah, that's the Gulf of Mexico.
Doug	Good one. I see you've been studying your geography. Have you been using our beer money to pay for night school?
Bob	No way, eh?
Doug	Anyway, there's the Gulf of Mexico between us and them. So that's why they're overseas.
Bob	Okay, eh? I was thinking of Europe and stuff.
Doug	Yeah, the French have beer. They make it with grapes and call it wine.
Bob	Take off. What about German beers?
Doug	I can't remember. Oktoberfest was almost a year ago.
Bob	You forget what happened last night.
Doug	What did happen last night?
Bob	You got loaded and fell asleep.
Doug	Same thing we do every night.
Bob	Yeah. Okay, that covers overseas and Europe and Mexico. Now we can talk about American beers.
Doug	They like to drink lite beer. All the water in North America is either in the Great Lakes or American lite beer.
Bob	Only there's more of it in the beer.
Doug	Yeah. Not like Canadian lite beers.
Bob	They don't make lite beers in Canada, eh?
Doug	Yeah, they do.
Bob	They do?
Doug	Well, what else are you supposed to drink at breakfast?
Bob	Good point, eh?
Doug	Yeah. I believe it only has 4-and-a-half percent alcohol.
Bob	Geez. I think that's the same as regular beer in the States.
Doug	Could be. Down there, their lite beer is something like 2 percent.
Bob	Okay, that explains why they have to drink so much to get the same effect.
Doug	They drink a lot? You just finished that case off!
Bob	I finished it, but you had most of them! For breakfast, too!
Doug	Okay, I was thirsty. Good thing it was a lite beer.
Bob	You're a hoser.
Doug	You're a hoser.
Bob	You're a bigger hoser.
Doug	You're a big idiot.
Bob	Take off!

SCTV Reruns

Good day. The fine folks at The Comedy Network in Canada are still showing the syndicated episodes of SCTV, sometimes two a day. Check out the SCTV page for more info, eh?

Action Figures

The Bob and Doug McKenzie "action figures" have been out since July. Look for them at your local comic book store, or if you don't have one, go to Spawn Toys and order them over then internet, eh?

We keep promising the back issues, but they still aren't up. Fear not! The original files are still here, we just have to fix some stuff up. (Like, Doug's name was spelled "McKeznie" on the first year and a half. We also spelled tuque a whole bunch of different ways, too.)

Strange Brew 2 News

Good day, eh? Any news about our new movie, our action figures, and, like, anything else about us will be posted on our News page before we put it here, eh? So, like, maybe you want to bookmark it, or something, so you'll know, like, which beer stores to go to, eh?

	CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.

Canadian Beer Vs. Other Beers

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Action Figures

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