November, 1998 The Hoser Weather: It's November. Do you know where your tuque is?
Vol. 2, No. 2

Hockey

by Bob McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobOkay, good day, and welcome to the Hoser.
DougGood day, eh?
BobOkay. Today the topic is hockey.
DougYeah. Our favourite sport, eh?
BobOkay. What about hockey, hoser?
DougFirst things first. At the start of the season, check to make sure there's no back bacon in your skates. We use it to keep our feet warm, and if you forget it, it smells bad.
BobYeah, but your feet smell worse.
DougHoser.
BobAnyway, another thing. Don't sharpen your skates with a knife sharpener. It wrecks the sharpener, and your skates.
DougYou are a hoser.
BobOne more thing. Don't play against the guys at the loony bin. They cheat, eh?
DougOh yeah. That was funny when you got rushed while in goal, eh?
BobNot as funny as what happened to you...
DougShut up, you knob!
BobAnyway, that's The Hoser for today...
DougWait, wait! I'm not done, eh?
BobGeez.
DougI have a plan.
BobYeah? Keep going, eh?
DougOkay, my plan is to return to only six teams in the league.
BobWhy, hoser? There's lots of teams, which means more games, which means more things for us to do during the winter, hosehead!
DougYeah, but I liked it better when there were only six teams, eh?
BobOh, I know what your problem is. You've bet on the Toronto Maple Leafs to win the Stanley Cup every year since 1967, when they last won, eh? So, you've lost, like, a thousand dollars.
DougGet out! I did not!
BobYou did too! Know how I know?
DougWhy?
BobCause you made the bet with me, hosehead!
DougTake off!

Strange Brew 2

Good day, eh? It took a year, but we've finally finished writing the script for our new movie, eh? Read the article that appeared in the Toronto Sun (and on alt.tv.sctv).


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Copyright ©1997, 1998 Chris "Bob" Odorjan