October, 1998 The Hoser Weather: It's a little cold out, so put some cooked back bacon in your shoes to keep your feet warm. Even when it goes bad, it still smells better than your feet do.
Vol. 2, No. 1

One Year Of The Hoser

by Doug McKenzie, Editor 

-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor 

BobOkay, good day, and welcome to the Hoser.
DougGood day, eh?
BobOkay. Like, holy geez. We've been writing The Hoser for one year now.
DougJeepers. One year?
BobYeah. I can't believe how long that is, eh?
DougYeah. Put it in perspective...
Bob"Perspective", eh? Like, you're using big words now, eh, hoser?
DougYeah. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, put it in perspective. That's like... a case a day, for 365 days. Um...
BobYou can use big words but you can't do math, eh?
DougHose off, eh? That's a lot of beers, anyway.
BobYeah, and a lot of back bacon, too.
Doug365 cases of beer.
BobWha?
DougA case a day for 365 days. That's 365 cases of beer.
BobRight. Hoser. Anyway, we've written 12 Hosers now, and since there's a lot of readers, we'll keep writing, like forever, eh?
DougOr until our beer runs out.
BobYeah. Ok, so that's The Hoser for this month, good day.
DougThat's it?
BobYeah. We've written a year of Hosers, and this is the anniversary issue.
DougWell, I thought it'd be longer.
BobI don't hear you offering any ideas.
DougOkay. We wrote for a year of beer and a year of back bacon, but you forgot donuts. You could've got me a dozen donuts, and I'd have one for each issue we wrote. Or you could've gone to the donut shop where they give you the 13th donut free, and I could have one for this issue, too.
BobAw, take off!

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