October, 1998 | Weather: It's a little cold out, so put some cooked back bacon in your shoes to keep your feet warm. Even when it goes bad, it still smells better than your feet do. | |
Vol. 2, No. 1 |
by Doug McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor
Bob | Okay, good day, and welcome to the Hoser. |
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Doug | Good day, eh? |
Bob | Okay. Like, holy geez. We've been writing The Hoser for one year now. |
Doug | Jeepers. One year? |
Bob | Yeah. I can't believe how long that is, eh? |
Doug | Yeah. Put it in perspective... |
Bob | "Perspective", eh? Like, you're using big words now, eh, hoser? |
Doug | Yeah. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, put it in perspective. That's like... a case a day, for 365 days. Um... |
Bob | You can use big words but you can't do math, eh? |
Doug | Hose off, eh? That's a lot of beers, anyway. |
Bob | Yeah, and a lot of back bacon, too. |
Doug | 365 cases of beer. |
Bob | Wha? |
Doug | A case a day for 365 days. That's 365 cases of beer. |
Bob | Right. Hoser. Anyway, we've written 12 Hosers now, and since there's a lot of readers, we'll keep writing, like forever, eh? |
Doug | Or until our beer runs out. |
Bob | Yeah. Ok, so that's The Hoser for this month, good day. |
Doug | That's it? |
Bob | Yeah. We've written a year of Hosers, and this is the anniversary issue. |
Doug | Well, I thought it'd be longer. |
Bob | I don't hear you offering any ideas. |
Doug | Okay. We wrote for a year of beer and a year of back bacon, but you forgot donuts. You could've got me a dozen donuts, and I'd have one for each issue we wrote. Or you could've gone to the donut shop where they give you the 13th donut free, and I could have one for this issue, too. |
Bob | Aw, take off! |
CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION. |
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The Hoser |
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BobNET NewsMy main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie. |
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Copyright ©1997, 1998 Chris "Bob" Odorjan