| March, 2007 |  |
Weather: It'll be warm, then cold, then warm, then cold again. It's probably not a good idea to keep your beer outside this month. |
|---|---|---|
| Vol. 10, No. 6 |
| March, 2007 | |
Weather: It'll be warm, then cold, then warm, then cold again. It's probably not a good idea to keep your beer outside this month. |
|---|---|---|
| Vol. 10, No. 6 |
by Bob McKenzie, Editor 
-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor 
| Bob | Okay, good day, I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my brother Doug. |
|---|---|
| Doug | How's it goin', eh? |
| Bob | So welcome to our driveway... |
| Doug | No take off! This is the sales lot! |
| Bob | Oh yeah, yeah! Welcome to our sales lot, here at McKenzie Brothers' Used RV and Trailer Sales! I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my sales associate Doug. |
| Doug | You already introduced us. |
| Bob | No way, this is our commercial, eh! |
| Doug | Oh, right. Hi, folks! I'm Doug McKenzie, owner and general manager of McKenzie Brothers' Used RV and Trailer Sales, and... |
| Bob | No, take off! Why you get to be the owner and general manager?! |
| Doug | "Why you get to be"? |
| Bob | Why do you get to be the owner and... |
| Doug | Cause I'm older, eh! |
| Bob | Get out, I have more experience selling stuff. |
| Doug | You? What did you sell? |
| Bob | I sold your hockey card collection when you were ten years old. |
| Doug | Yeah, well... what? Wait a minute. You said they accidentally caught fire! |
| Bob | Um. Yeah, they caught fire. |
| Doug | You just said... |
| Bob | They caught fire, then I sold them. |
| Doug | Geez. |
| Bob | So yeah, I'm better at selling stuff. That's why I get to be the owner and general manager and you're just a sales associate. |
| Doug | I'd like to point out that none of our trailers have caught fire before we sold them. |
| Bob | Some caught fire after we sold them. |
| Doug | Take off! Don't tell them that! |
| Bob | And that one over there had a stove catch fire inside it, but technically the trailer itself didn't catch fire. |
| Doug | Anyone wanna buy a stove? Uh. As is. |
| Bob | So over here (points to a beat-up old RV sitting in the driveway) is our latest model. It's uh. Tan. And brown. And it, uh, drives around. |
| Doug | Beauty description, eh! |
| Bob | Well, it should drive around. It's really got no engine, but we're gonna modify it so it can be towed. |
| Doug | So correction: it's a trailer, not an RV. |
| Bob | Two thousand bucks or best offer. |
| Doug | Beauty price, too. And over here (points to an even more beat-up old trailer on the other side of the driveway) is our latest acquisition. |
| Bob | Yeah, it's uh, white, and has one tire! A great security measure if you suspect one of your neighbours is looking to steal it. |
| Doug | And it's got a fridge and a stove, too! |
| Bob | Oh yeah! And the fridge works! |
| Doug | So this one is a real steal of a deal! |
| Bob | No, take off! Don't say "steal"! |
| Doug | Why not? |
| Bob | Cause uh... |
| Doug | Oh yeah, we took this one out of the junkyard! |
| Bob | No, get out! It was ours to begin with! |
| Doug | Right, right. This uh, we got this one from the trailer park itself. |
| Bob | Yeah, the guy there said we could take it, before it uh. Got towed. |
| Doug | He was the park manager, or something. |
| Bob | Was he? |
| Doug | I don't know, I never asked. |
| Bob | Anyway, so yeah, it was ours so we had every right to break into that junkyard. |
| Doug | No, no, we didn't break in! |
| Bob | Yeah we... I mean, no! And don't call it a junkyard. We don't sell junk here at McKenzie Brothers' Used RV and Trailer Sales. |
| Doug | No, it was a uh, metal recycling yard it got took to. Not a junkyard. |
| Bob | And it's very environmentally friendly. |
| Doug | Yes: by storing those old cars and trailers there, they're preventing oil from leaking into our nation's campgrounds. |
| Bob | I'd also like to take this opretunity to... |
| Doug | "Opretunity"?! Have you been sniffing the fumes coming from that trailer? |
| Bob | Fumes? No, our trailers don't have fumes here at McKenzie Brothers' Used RV and Trailer Sales. |
| Doug | Supplying fumes is your responsibility. |
| Bob | Yeah. So anyway, I'd like to take this opportunity to announce our new business venture into warehousing. So to that guy who left all his tools in the one RV, you can now come get them at McKenzie Brothers' Self-Storage and Warehousing, uh, Sales. |
| Doug | Yeah, yeah. For the low-low price of $31.95. Per month. |
| Bob | No, week. Wait, why $31.95? |
| Doug | Cause that's the price of a case of beer. |
| Bob | Oh beauty. So yeah, come on down today to McKenzie Brothers' Used RV and Trailer Sales! |
| Doug | Plus Self-Storage and Warehousi... |
| voice from the house | Hey! Did you two hosers get those pieces of junk off my driveway?! |
| Bob | (to the voice) Not yet, dad! |
| Doug | We will though: we just recorded a commercial! |
| Mr. McKenzie | You idiots! Just get them out of there! |
| Bob | (whispering) Geez, he's real ticked off, eh! |
| Doug | Yeah. I guess we gotta go. |
| Bob | Okay, so good day. |
| Doug | Good day, eh! |
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The Hoser |
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