Chapter 8

Monday, May 22

So what do you think I should call myself? Champion Linwell He's Hamish Magruder? Naw. Too pompous. Champion Hamish. No. Too informal. Champion Magruder? No. A bit too stiff. So I guess it has to be Champion Hamish Magruder. Of course, I might let a few of my best friends still call me just Hamish. But I think TBC should call me Champion Hamish Magruder. Although he has started calling me just Champ, and I guess that's O.K. too.

I knew it was going to be a great weekend as soon as we got out of the car in Kitchener, and Mom and Halo and Linda came running up and then we all went back to our motel room and fooled around for an hour or two. Then they went out for dinner. The next morning we had to be at the show pretty early, and I beat an American dog for winner's dog which was the final point I needed for my championship. Then, surprise, surprise, I took best of winners, which gave me 3 more points because there had been 8 bitches in the show. So everyone was really excited and came up to me and congratulated me, only they tended to congratulate Margi more than they did me. Well, I suppose it does take a few brains to follow me around the ring. Then we went back to the motel. There were really a lot of cairns staying at the motel. I didn't get to play with any of them, but at least I could say Hello. Then back to the show where we hung around and hung around and hung around waiting for the judge to get her picture taken with me. Being a Champion involves a lot of hanging around, but there are lots of other dogs to watch and smells to smell and everything. Then Margi and TBC dashed off to the banquet, where a bunch more people congratulated them. No one came out to the car to congratulate me, but what the Heck.

The next day was Margi's big day, when she piped all the cairns into the ring, which was pretty exciting, and we all thought she did a good job, except for knocking her hat off when she was trying to adjust a drone. And then, and I think this is really good news, Jade won Best of Breed. Imagine. The dog I defeated twice in the last two weeks, defeated all 40 cairns for Best of Breed. She is a beautiful dog (she looks a lot like me) and I was really happy. Then after that I went in the ring with Mom and Halo and we got a big green rosette.

That was most of the excitement. There were a couple more shows, but once you get to be a champion you don't win a lot of ribbons or anything. TBC (poor old TBC) had made a mistake in filling in the form for moving me up for this morning's show, but he talked to the show secretary and got things straightened out in the nick of time. Grady, the dog that I had defeated last week in Arnprior won Best of Breed. Big Dog. British judge. What more can I say?

Coming home Margi was talking about this old lady with white hair who had been talking to her Saturday morning, telling her what a good job of grooming she was doing and how I was going to finish my championship because I had so much spirit. TBC said he hadn't seen any old white haired lady, and it was probably the ghost of Betty Hyslop. Margi said all she could remember was that the old lady had a long bluish gray dress on and really blue eyes. This is the sort of crap that makes my Celtic hair stand on end, so somebody e mail us quick and tell me that Betty Hyslop didn't have blue eyes.

Monday, May 29

Well, life is sliding along.

TBC has been screwing up my web page, as you may have noticed if you have tried to access the last chapter which he put in the archives so that he would have room for my latest batch of pictures. I think he has things straightened out now.

But as a result of reading my web page a really good looking little chick dog on the West Coast sent me a pinup of herself to put on the back wall of my crate. I suppose this is the sort of thing that happens to Champions. Hey, it works for me.

The other development in my life is more dubious. After considerable searching TBC found my old choke collar, and we went out on the deck and practiced the old sit stay down come heel routine. It seems he saw a bumper sticker at the Kitchener show which said, "A well balanced dog has a title at both ends". I mean really! You plan your dog's entire future on the strength of a bumper sticker? Maybe we should think about this a bit more. It might be fun, but on the other hand it could get really boring. He is thinking of calling Linda and Doug at Pet's Plus this morning. I will let you know what develops.

Tuesday, May 30

Hey, I found out the name of that cute American dog on the West Coast. She is called Regina Pacis Marie Celeste. With a name like that she is probably in the movies, don't you think? Wow! She says she admires me for my mind. Nancy thinks she must be a starlet..

I am packing my suitcase, Marie Celeste baby, I am packing my suitcase.

TBC says I can't hitchhike to the West Coast just now because he has signed me up for another ten weeks of advanced obedience training. Oh Dog. Classes start next week.

Thursday, June 1

We rescued a lady in distress last night. Of course, she might not have been in distress if it hadn't been for me, but let's not worry about that part of the story.

We were up to the east end of the beach on our usual late night walk, and met this nice Sheltie that we hadn't seen before. She came up to say hello, and had a really nice soft coat, but no collar on. She walked along with us for awhile, sort of prancing around me, and then we started home. Margi and TBC kept telling her to go home, but she wanted to come home with us, which was fine with me. I think she was an older Mrs. Robinson type dog, no doubt attracted by my overwhelming adolescent sexuality.

Anyway, it ended with TBC dragging me in one direction (home) and Margi persuading the Sheltie to go back with her in the other direction. Then TBC and I had to drive back in the car to pick up Margi. Margi had met another person out for a late night walk who knew where the Sheltie lived, and who promised to get her home safely. Oh well, maybe she will escape again and come and visit.

Friday, June 2

TBC says that I think about sex too much. He says it's not cool to talk about it on my web page all the time. What's he know about it? He's 61 for barking out loud.

But maybe he is right. Nancy is coming down later today to help celebrate Margi's birthday tomorrow.

I wonder if she knows any nice female dogs?

Monday, June 5

A great weekend with Nancy. She arrived Friday evening and TBC served a late dinner and then we all went out for my evening walk. Saturday she slept in until about 10 o'clock and then TBC let me go in and wake her up. I fooled her by hiding under the bed. She thought I must have her shoe, but it was just a joke. Then TBC and Nancy went out to buy a big package of balloons. In the afternoon we planted some some new posts in the garden for me to pee on, and then TBC and Nancy got ready for Margi's birthday dinner. Nancy blew up all the balloons. I was really restrained, and didn't start popping them until it was time for Margi to open her presents.

TBC and I gave her a book on how to draw dogs, and a Cairn Terrier Club of Canada pin which TBC had bought in Kitchener a couple of weeks ago.

Sunday we all went for a really long hike along the Elgin Trail, and I got to wade in a creek we had to cross, and run through the long grass. Nancy thought it was really funny that at one point I wanted to get in the lead, but the grass was too high for me to see where I was going, and I kept bumping into obstacles, including TBC's legs. He might have gotten out of the way for goodness sakes.

So all too soon it was time for Nancy to leave, and I have been sleeping ever since.

Wednesday, June 7

Yesterday was my first Pre Novice (whatever that means) obedience lesson, and it went pretty well, all things considered. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot of Pets Plus I recognized the place from 12 months ago and started to get excited. And sure enough, we went inside and there were Linda and Doug, whom I greeted enthusiastically. There are seven other dogs in the class; a badly behaved Sheltie, two Keeshounds, two dogs which look like Am Staffs but I'm not sure, a black lab and another retrieverish looking dog. The point of the class, of course, is to make friends with all these dogs, plus their handlers and Doug and Linda, instead of paying attention to what we are supposed to be doing.

First we did a lot of heeling, which was fine. I am pretty good at heeling, except that TBC never walks fast enough. Margi told him I was really snuffling the mat badly for dropped treats and he should be paying more attention to me, which was a silly comment because if he does that he will probably trip and fall down and that would be really embarrassing for me.

Next we did a long down, and everybody was pretty good at that.

Then some more heeling. Doug was using me as an example of how to heel, but TBC had to explain to him that he doesn't really want me to sit in the conformation ring, so I don't need to sit in obedience unless TBC tells me to. Doug was pretty impressed that I am thinking of going for my American Championship.

Then some sit stays, during which I got bored and kept trying to lie down. This ended up with TBC standing 6 inches in front of my nose and hauling me back up; a bit ignominious. Next was stand, stay, which, as usual, I totally blew. The problem is that Doug and Linda come up as if they want to pat me, and I behave appropriately. Mind you, none of the other dogs did very well either.

Finally the recall, at which I am a bit rusty. I started off by heeling instead of staying, because I usually don't pay that much attention to what TBC is saying and I would sooner heel than stay. Well, what terrier wouldn't? Then I forgot to sit for the first treat, mostly because TBC forgot that this was part of the exercise. But all in all, considering that we haven't done much of this for the last 12 months, things went pretty well, and it was a fun way to spend an evening.

June 9

A funny thing happened as we were coming home from getting the newspaper this morning.

I was sitting between the front seats beside TBC where I like to sit, so I could see exactly what was going on. He pulled into the driveway and gave the garage door the up sign and it didn't do it. He gave the sign again and it still didn't do it. So he stopped in front of the door and said to me, "I guess it needs more obedience training. Or else I'll have to change the battery". He gave the sign one more time and it went up.

I guess I know what's in store for me.

June 13

This bit from the internet is for you Nancy. TBC just got it from Linda, so it must be true, and TBC says it probably happens all the time at dog shows. He says I have to stop smelling things, especially if they smell like perfume, and if I do smell anything like that I just have to think about cold rain. Speaking of which, Margi and I were practicing showing on the grass over at the Johnson's this morning when it started to rain and then it started a real downpour. I knew I had to get Margi home right away before she drowned, and I did and I kept my tail up all the way, but it was a close thing.

So from the internet:

"I WAS SENT AN E-MAIL AT WORK ABOUT SOMEONE WALKING UP TO YOU AT IN A MALL AND ASKING YOU TO SNIFF PERFUME THEY ARE SELLING AT A CHEAP PRICE. THIS ISN'T REALLY PERFUME BUT ETHER AND YOU WILL PASS OUT AND THEY TAKE YOUR WALLET AND ALL YOUR VALUABLES. THIS IS NOT A PRANK MAIL. THIS IS TRUE BECAUSE MY GIRLFRIEND WAS APPROACHED IN THE PARKING LOT AT SQUARE ONE MISSISSAUGA BY TWO MEN WHO ASKED HER WHAT PERFUME SHE WAS WEARING. SHE JUST KEPT WALKING AND I WAS GLAD SHE DID BECAUSE SHE COULD VERY WELL MAY HAVE BEEN A VICTIM

So just be careful, Nancy.

Maybe I could GIVE them my valuables?

Wednesday, June 14

Now I am puzzled. Monday night Margi spent about two hours stripping me and brushing me and trimming my claws and all that stuff she does before a big show. The next night we all got in the car and I figured, "O.K., here we go again". Except they forgot my crate and my grooming table and the suitcases. Anyway, we arrived at this place that looked like a dog show place, except there weren't any other dogs around. Maybe they had the date wrong. We took a fast look around, and then went to the Jansoos, and they left me in the car in the driveway, which was a very peculiar thing to do, and came out 20 minutes later, obviously having rolled around on the floor with the Jansoo dogs. THEN we went to obedience class. At that point I was sufficiently confused that I spent half the time smelling TBC's pant legs or trying to explore the mats. I did reasonably well, but I admit that my attention was elsewhere. TBC was getting exasperated with me, but it was his fault for not explaining to me what was going on.

Sunday, June 18

Yeah, that was it. They had the date wrong. Because yesterday we went to a dog show and it was really great. I had forgotten how much fun outdoor shows are. It was a beautiful day, and Linda and Janine were both there, and five other Cairns, and I won Best of Breed, and got to walk for miles around the show site and then we went to visit the Jansoos, except their dogs were all inside, and I had to stay in the car again, but that wasn't so bad because I was pretty tired out anyway.

Today was another show, which was also fun because it was raining and everything smelled great and I got all wet and muddy and everything. Dapper Dan won, but that was O.K. because I wouldn't want to win ALL the time. Well, actually I might, but you gotta leave something for the next guys.

But the really really good news is that because I behaved so well on the grass, they are going to start taking me to U.S. dog shows. Our first 3 shows will be in about a month's time near Cleveland.

Wednesday, June 21

Down for a great run on the beach this morning with Margi. We tried to dig an old tire out of the sand, and bit at the waves, and kept finding sticks to run with. While we were doing this, TBC was slaving at the computer, trying to enter us in American dog shows. Trying to wrap his few remaining betz cells around problems like do the Americans use day/month or month/day. Isn't he a great master to worry about these problems on my behalf? So self sacrificing. So noble. So thoroughly wonderful. Are you throwing up yet Nancy?

Sorry folks, little private joke there.

Anyway, thanks to TBC's valiant efforts, when the show applications were eventually sent in, the date of birth was left blank. Under place of birth, he had entered Canada, and the info dog site had changed this to "unknown". That reinforces a few stereotypes, doesn't it? Worse than "elsewhere" which is what they sometimes say in Canadian show catalogs for American dogs.

Another obedience session last night. I think I am doing pretty well, even if it is no easy task to figure out what TBC wants me to do. I just look at the other dogs, but some of them are even more confused than I am. And it is pretty boring. I mean, I know how to heel, so why shouldn't I sniff the mats at the same time? And I know how to sit, so why just sit there if something more interesting is going on? And Stand, when Linda comes over to pat me? No. Actually, I think TBC sympathizes with my point of view. He seems a lot less up tight about the whole effort than he used to be.

Sunday, June 25

Hi Nancy. Guess what? There are Scottish Games in Uxbridge the third week in July, and they are having a special dog show for Scottish Dogs. I think it would be really neat if you entered the Highland Dance competition, and Margi entered the solo piping competition and I entered the dog show. What would TBC do? He suggested the caber toss, but I think he was just kidding. Tell me he was just kidding. We can't enter anyway, because we are going to 3 dog shows in Ohio. They are pretty big dog shows, but judging by the results from last year, which TBC finally found on the net, there may not be many cairns there. TBC says he also thinks that there aren't many male cairns in U.S. shows, which is fine by me.

The other big news involves a possible home exchange in Colorado this Fall with a cocker spaniel by the name of Samantha. I don't think I have ever met a cocker spaniel. Durango Colorado was where that great Doubletree Hotel was where they gave out dog biscuits at the front desk. I still think that was one of the most civilized hotels we have ever stayed at. So that sounds fun. Except TBC is a bit upset with me. These folks that we might exchange with apparently found my web page with a search engine, and now TBC says to me, "What are they going to think of all your exaggerated stories, not to mention outright untruths, and even leaving aside your assorted misdemeanors, and bad behavior, they are probably going to find out what they are getting into and want to call the whole thing off and that will be all your fault you ratty looking miscreant little terrier". You can tell TBC is upset when he starts calling me a ratty looking little terrier, so I guess I had better mind my tongue for awhile.

Wednesday June 27

Things I pay attention to in obedience class:

1) Sex

2) Other dogs, especially if they are of the opposite 1)

3) Other people, on the grounds that if I am really nice to them they might facilitate 1) and 2).

4) Food. To keep my strength up for 1), 2) and 3) above

5) TBC

You see, there is this golden retriever called Charlie in the class. As soon as I walked through the door last night, I knew she was no Charlie, if you know what I mean. Not to put too fine a point on it, TBC spent the next hour scraping me off the walls.

I dunno. Maybe I am over sexed. None of the other dogs seemed that interested.

TBC says he hopes I like the smell of Vicks, because next Tuesday he is going to wash my head in it before we go to class. He gets so testy. I think I will take my stepladder anyway.

Friday, June 30

TBC shouldn't be so mean.

Margi was vacuuming the guest bedroom this morning, because John and Betty are coming down for the Canada Day weekend, and I was lying outside the door with my nose pressed to the crack looking worried. TBC. wandered by, and told me that the vacuum cleaner was probably going to suck up Margi and we would never see her again. I pressed my nose tighter to the crack, and started whimpering. He probably has never heard the Cairn MacAye story about the sucking monster

There are a lot of Cairn MacAye stories of course, which cairns tell their puppies. If I ever have puppies, one of the first stories which I will tell them is about Cairn Mac Aye and the giant sucking monster. Like all the Cairn MacAye stories this happened long long ago in the Scottish highlands. Back in those days, there used to be clans of intrepid cairns who hunted badgers for fun and profit. They were by and large a smaller and tougher race than today's cairn, and could squirm down a badger hole in nothing flat. They would grab the badgers by their tails and haul them out to the surface. It was hard and dirty work, and not a few of these fearless cairns were lost to tunnel snakes and cave ins and other natural hazards which they encountered underground, but the greatest hazard was the great sucking monster which used to roam the land. This monster, which was as big as a house, regarded cairn terriers as a great delicacy. It knew that it had little chance of catching a cairn in the open, but if it could corner one in a badger hole, it would be in fora tasty treat, sticking its long hose like trunk down the badger hole, and sucking up any cairns which it might find. Well, one day word was brought to Cairn MacAye that the monster was particularly active in the region of Loch Ness. Cairn MacAye decided that he would teach the monster a lesson, and concealing himself at the entrance to a badger hole, waited for the monster to come by. Eventually the monster did, and no sooner had it stuck its trunk down the hole looking for cairns than Cairn MacAye leaped out and sank his teeth in the monster's trunk. The monster trumpeted his outrage, and lashed his trunk back and forth, but Cairn MacAye hung on. The monster started to run, but Cairn MacAye hung on. The monster ran the entire width of Scotland, but Cairn MacAye hung on. A day and a night passed, and Cairn MacAye hung on. Eventually the time came when the monster realized he was defeated, and he said to Cairn MacAye, "What must I do to make you let go of my trunk?" Cairn MacAye was implacable, and replied, "You must promise from now on to only live in the water of the loch, and never again set foot on land, because if you do, I or my descendants will leap upon you and grab your trunk and never let go."

And that is why all cairn terriers to this day have to watch out for vacuum cleaners. Some say it is also the derivation of the McKay motto, which is Manu Forte, but I think that is stretching it a bit. Especially since TBC's ancestors were McKays.

Monday July 3

A good Canada day weekend. TBC and Margi and I started off the weekend with a display that TBC had put together on the history of Port Stanley. My job was to lie underneath the table which we had set up in front of the Town Hall, and make sure that all the passers by stopped to pat me so that TBC and Margi could sell them booklets and stuff on behalf of the historical society. Hard work, but I was happy to do my part. Then we turned the display over to some other members of Heritage Port, and went home to wait for John and Betty, who arrived in due course and I stole their shoes and Betty stole my bone and Betty and I played chase. In the evening they all had to go up to London because Margi was piping at a Canada day celebration, and they didn't take me, but I was pretty tired after my morning's work. On their way, they passed Dr. Yett's office, and there was my name in lights! Her sign said, "Congratulations Hamish Magruder, Canadian Champion".

Yesterday, we went for a good hike with John, and then we went over to see the fireworks display. It was the first time I had been at a fireworks display, and it was pretty neat. There were thousands of people all sitting on the sand, and a nice dog that I made friends with. The first five minutes were a bit scary, and I sat on TBC's lap, but after that I sat on the sand and watched them all, and didn't bark till the big finale, but everybody was clapping and making a lot of noise anyway by then. So cairn terriers like fireworks displays. We had to walk back over the bridge with the crowds of people. I hate to tell you this Devil, but walking across that bridge is just one thing I cannot do by myself. It was O.K when you and your housemates were here a couple of months ago, and you didn't seem to mind at all, but by myself I just get paralyzed. TBC ended up carrying me. Fireworks are fine, and crowds are fine, and big dogs are fine, and lions and tigers and bears, un-huh, but that bridge scares SHIT out of me.

Wednesday July 7

I thought TBC was just kidding, but he actually did it. Obedience class was last night, and just before we went in, he pulled out this jar of terrible smelling stuff called Vick's Vapour rub and rubbed it on my nose. Is that the sort of thing you should do to your Cairn Terrier? I don't think so. He said I did really well in class, and was probably the best there at the recall (all the other dogs were pretty bad), and my stand stay was really good (that was because Linda and Doug didn't come over to pat me). My heeling wasn't so hot because on account of the Vicks I had to get my nose really close to the mats to find out what had been going on for the past week. He says he "hopes this behaviour doesn't carry over to the conformation ring". Well, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we Cheese Man? Why don't you hold your breath for the next two weeks until you find out? Geez.

Monday, July 10

Wow, I think I am petted out.

Nancy and Rob arrived for dinner Friday night and we had a great time, and went for a long walk on the beach Saturday, and then later Mr. and Mrs. Lock arrived, and Rob's brother and sister and a couple of their friends, so everybody spent all weekend petting me and playing with me and it was great. Except Sunday they all went off to Stratford to see a dumb play.

I spent most of the day moving all my toys into my sleeping crate. I figured if I was going to be abandoned I might as well have all my toys with me, and there are so many good memories of dog shows associated with my sleeping crate.

Speaking of memories, the first installment of the Memoirs of Hamish Magruder have just been published in the Cairn Terrier Club of Canada Newsletter under the title "My World and Welcome to it". I can't wait to see myself in print.

Friday, July 14

Ah Fame!

Ah Fortune!

TBC is pretty skeptical about the latter, but never mind. There I am in the latest issue of the CTCC newsletter, with my "new champion" picture, and the first chapter in my memoirs. The accolades are pouring in. One of my fans suggests that the next step will be a syndicated TV series called "The Misadventures of Mr. Magruder". Yes! Yes! I can see it now!. I'll play the lead myself, and maybe we can cast Marie Celeste as the dog next door. Actually, the dog next door is old Sparky, but I will write a role for Marie Celeste. Maybe we can get Paul Gross to play TBC. Ha ha. HaHaHa. Little cairn terrier humour there.

But you know what Linda did? We famous authors always complain all the time about our editors. She misspelled my name on my championship picture. It's Magruder, Mrs Kettlewellson Ma'm. And you say that with a grrrrowl.

Come to think of it, I have never learned how to growl. Oh well, sucks to be me. You may have noticed that the print version of my web page is heavily edited by TBC.

Monday, July 17

A pretty quiet weekend, just standing around being groomed for our 3 shows this week. They didn't tell me that at American shows you are supposed to show naked cairns. Bad enough that Margi plucked me bald, but then Ron and Janine came down yesterday and Janine removed the few remaining strands of hair.

Got an e mail yesterday from a cairn in Adelaide, Australia by the name of Hamish McGuire. He suggests that we start a Clan Hamish. Sounds like a good idea. He calls the lady he lives with his leader. Forget it, TBC, just forget it. He says that they don't have snow in the winter in Adelaide, just cold rain. TBC says it is winter there now, but this is probably just TBC getting confused. How could it be winter someplace else?

Wednesday, July 19

I have decided, Nancy. I don't like obedience class.

Last night TBC and Margi forgot the Vicks, which was fine, but then TBC and Doug decided that every time I started sniffing the mat I should get my head jerked upwards. I don't even want to think about what this was doing to my show coiffure, plus it is stupid. Why should one walk around mindlessly in circles for 20 minutes and ignore all the smells? I mean, I don't mind all the stay stuff. That's sort of a game, and I'm pretty good at it. And come is sort of fun too. It is not as if I don't know how to heel. When there aren't any interesting smells around, I heel fine.

Then we came home and TBC was sitting on the couch so I decided to give him a round of alpha dog training and he got mad at me! He's not that stupid. He knows when I scratch his arm he is supposed to scratch my ears and let me lick his hand. So what if he was holding a glass of wine? He should have been paying attention, and as soon as he saw that the exercise was about to start, he should have put down the glass. Exactly the same as obedience training, but HE got mad at ME. Hmph!

Monday, July 24

Well, the way I look at it is this. In every American dog show I have ever entered I have taken Best of Breed. Of course, TBC will point out that I have only been in 3 shows, and I was the only cairn in each of the 3 shows, but that's TBC for you. Can you imagine a show with 1500 entries, and only one cairn? The other cairns must have heard I was coming.

It was a good 3 days anyway. We had beautiful weather, and stayed at two nice motels. The first one had two beds for me to practice jumping back and forth and the second one had a coffee table in front of the window for me to lie on and look out the window. American dog shows are different from Canadian shows. More informal. The first show was at a crummy little fairgrounds where we had to set up my grooming table in the parking lot beside the car. "It all started on a shabby fairgrounds in a broken down little town somewhere in the Midwest". I think that would be a great first sentence for the tale of how I won my American championship. TBC talked to the show superintendent before the show and got my registration changed to my new AKC number just in case I got any points, but as I told you, the other dogs didn't show up. Armband numbers are funny. Instead of having a different armband for every dog in the show, the first dog entered in each breed is number 7, and then the numbers go up from there. So I was cairn terrier number 7 for all 3 shows. After breed judging, TBC and Margi were getting bored, so we drove on to Medina, and walked around the courthouse square so that people could stop and pat me. Then back to the show for group. They don't call you into the ring or anything, all the terriers just sort of mill into the ring and line up while a judge ( a different judge) examines all the dogs again. Sort of boring, except that handlers do things like sit down on the grass and play with their dogs, and the spectators and other judges give advice from the sidelines. At one of the shows, the judge who had judged me was talking to another lady and more or less including Margi in the conversation. The other lady said, "Are you sure that's not a Norwich? He sure looks like a Norwich." The judge said, "No, no, He is a cairn, just a very small cairn". That was the show where the group judge asked Margi how old I was. So I can stop worrying that I am bigger than the breed standard..

The next day's show was at a nice fairgrounds in Medina, where we could park and set my grooming table up under the trees. Lots of people stopped to chat and admire me. TBC and Margi keep telling people that if they want to buy a cairn they will have to come to Ontario. After the show we went to a garden where I had to stay in the car while TBC and Margi looked at the flowers, and two peacocks came up to the car. Stupid birds. I had to do a lot of barking.

Then on to Burton and the last show, which again was at a very nice fairgrounds with lots of trees. We parked a long way away from the show rings, so I got to do a lot of walking. We were talking to a German Shepard breeder who wants to buy a cairn for her parents, and is going to call TBC to get Linda's telephone number. Group judging takes place sequentially after all the breed judging is finished, so there is a lot of waiting around. We drove home after the show, and it was good to be home too. It seemed like we had been away for a long time.

Monday, July 31

Things have been pretty quiet recently. I only have two more obedience lessons to go. Doug asked last week how many people were going to go on to the next level, and TBC didn't put up his hand. Whew! Actually, I did pretty well at my last class. Charlie wasn't there. Now if only I can keep TBC away from the obedience ring at dog shows. We are going to two more dog shows in Ohio next week, and there are going to be 36 rings for conformation. I hope TBC can figure out where we are going.

TBC and Margi are building some sort of observation platform half way down the creek bank. I was worried about TBC who kept disappearing over the bank with hammers and saws and nails and things. Eventually I persuaded Margi to go out and help him while I watched from the sunroom. I think the idea is that it will make it easier to get down to the beach. At least for Margi and TBC. I never have any problem.

Monday, August 7

Back from another good U.S. dog show weekend. We left Thursday morning, and drove down to a really ritzy hotel outside Warren, Ohio. It was so fancy that Margi had to carry me in through the lobby which had big chandeliers and nice carpet and everything, and then we had to ride up to our room in an elevator. TBC sort of smuggled my sleeping crate in a back door. I think there was some question if they accepted pets, but our room was really nice, and I could sit in the window and look down at everything that was going on in the parking lot with people coming and going, and there was a shopping mall across the street, and then wooded hills beyond that. TBC and Margi had dinner at a steakhouse while I waited in the car as usual, but it was good people watching.

The next morning TBC took me for a long walk around a new subdivision that they were building in the woods behind the hotel, and we watched a backhoe filling a truck with dirt. Man, that sucker could move dirt even faster than I can. Then on to the dog show in Canfield. We set up under a tree beside a nice couple from Ohio who had a Staffordshire Bull terrier who had just finished his championship. While I was sitting on my grooming table, a fire engine came along the road beside us, so I started baying in harmony with the siren. TBC had never heard me sing before, and was really impressed. I learned how to do it from a group of Bajensis at a show in London 9 months ago. When it came time for the cairns, I didn't do much, but then I was competing against the much touted Teddy, who is supposed to have the most wins of any cairn in the history of the breed. I didn't actually get to talk to him, but he seemed like a nice happy dog.

On the way back to our hotel we stopped at a park in Youngstown, and went for a walk in the woods beside a river. Then TBC and Margi went out for a big dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant. I had my usual meager ration of kibble.

The next morning when we woke up it was pouring rain. I don't usually do well in the rain, and this morning was no exception. I had to be groomed in the car, and we won't talk about me pooing in the ring. After the show Margi was chatting to a breeder with a cairn from Michigan who was complaining at length about the judging, but Hey, you do what you can. Before we went in the ring Margi was holding me so I wouldn't get wet, and a big Samoyed came along and jumped up on her to say Hello to me. I didn't think that was very polite, and growled at him, which Margi didn't think I know how to do. I do my best to protect my pack members from unforseen hazards. I do my best not to bark and get them evicted from foreign caves (apologies to Stanley Coren, but things are a lot more complicated than they were 10,000 years ago). I do my best to entertain them. I do my best to strut my stuff in the ring. And I do my best to love them.

I slept all the way home. I think we all had a good weekend.

Thursday, August 10

We had our last obedience lesson Tuesday night, and I have to admit, I didn't cover myself with glory. They expected me to sit quietly for about 45 minutes on the sidelines while all the other dogs went through their paces. I was bored out of my mind after about ten minutes, and by the time I had to perform, there was no way I was going to morosely walk around behind TBC with my tail between my legs. And then Doug expected us to lie down without sniffing for another 3 minutes. Ha! If you sat TBC down with a newspaper open on his lap for 45 minutes and told him he had to stare straight ahead at the wall and not glance at the newspaper, do you think he would do it? No.

To change the subject, as quickly as possible, I hear you have rats in your new house, Nancy. That is something cairn terriers are prepared to do something about. Since I can't be there, I strongly suggest rat traps. Bang. Snap. No more rat. That is the way a cairn terrier would deal with the problem. Could you toss the dead ones in your freezer for me, and bring them down the next time you come?

Wednesday, August 16

I am working on distress calls. This spooks TBC.

I told you about the ambulance. Well, last night, there was a full moon shining on the lake through the clouds, which made the moon blood red. TBC was reading a fantasy book about birds possessed by evil spirits. Then we turned on the TV, and there was a program about an Albatross being eaten by a shark So I decided to see if I could imitate the cries made by the albatross. This upset TBC who told me to stop because it was uncairnlike and downright scary. So I looked embarrassed and stopped, and then Margi got mad at TBC because she thinks my singing is really neat. So I dunno. What do you think, Nancy?

Saturday, August 19

I have a new theory to pass on to any cairns who may be reading my page. It is called the Always Pee on Both Sides of the Post principle, even though it has nothing to do with peeing. TBC and I always have lunch together in the sunroom. He always has an apple, and gives me a bit of it. I have discovered that I can get twice as much by asking for one bit on the left side of his chair, and then running around to the right side and asking for another bit. He probably doesn't know its me and thinks it is another cairn. Long term readers of my page will realize that poor old TBC isn't too swift.

Monday, Aug 28

My Kind of Town-Chicago Is! We're home with a Winner's dog ribbon, a Best of Opposite ribbon, a Reserve Winner's ribbon, the first two points towards my American Championship and a set of crystal salt and pepper shakers. A set of crystal salt and pepper shakers???? You have to wonder about these people who organize dog shows. I mean what kind of cairn terrier wants to invite his friends over to see his crystal salt and pepper shakers? Oh well, I mustn't be critical.

Previous comments notwithstanding, I have to say one thing for TBC, he sure does organize great trips. We left Thursday morning and drove to Kalamazoo, where we checked into a motel with one of the most interesting smelling carpets I have ever smelled. I spent about an hour going over it inch by inch, and then we drove over to a little town called Saugatuck on the shore of Lake Michigan and walked around for awhile and everybody wanted to stop and say Hello to me. Then back to Kalamazoo where TBC and Margi went out to a fancy restaurant for dinner while I looked after the car. Our motel was set in really nice grounds which I got to explore.

The next morning we pushed on for Chicago, stopping at a National Lakeshore south of Lake Michigan. We went for a 2 and a half mile walk along a nature trail, and I got totally covered with burrs. Then on to our motel, where a bunch of other dogs were staying. While we were carrying stuff into our room, we saw some folks with a trolley loaded with dog crates which were full of cats! Apparently they were going to a cat show. Really. I am not making this up. They might have given out the cats that didn't win as prizes at the dog show, instead of salt and pepper shakers. Just kidding, just kidding. Anyway, I had to get sponged off, and get all the burrs combed out of my coat, and then Saturday morning Mrs Goose Allen gave me my Winner's Dog award. There were 10 cairns in the show in all. Mrs. Goose Allen is going to be judging the terrier group at the Westminster show next winter.

After the show we drove into Chicago, and had a bit of a run on the campus of NorthWestern University, and then parked in a parking garage right in the centre of the city, and I got to walk up and down Michigan avenue, and pee on Tiffanys and Saks and Brooks Brothers. There were hordes and hordes of people there. If I had a dollar for everyone of them who said, "Look at the dog", I would be a rich animal. It was great. And a new personal best. There were iron grates on the sidewalk. I stopped at the first one, and made TBC carry me over it, while everyone laughed. So when we came to the next one I thought of you and the Port Stanley bridge, Devil, and gritted my teeth and kept walking. I am a Chicago kind of dog. Driving home back to our motel we got into a huge traffic jam, and TBC and Margi had a 7:30 dinner reservation, so we had to go directly to the restaurant instead of stopping to feed me my dinner at the motel. By the time we all eventually got back to the motel, my stomach thought my throat had been cut.

The next morning we were back to another show. The grass was redolent with great smells.. I suppose I could have minced around the ring with my cute little paws close together, but I wanted to show people that I had things to smell and places to go, so I put my nose down and attempted to drag Margi around the ring. As a famous Chicago alderman once said, "Chicago ain't no sissy town". I thought it was highly unprofessional of the judge to tell Margi, as he gave her my Reserve Winner's ribbon that I was a great looking little dog who deserved more but he just couldn't see my front. You get dogs in trouble that way. Margi was really mad at me, and TBC wasn't exactly pleased. But I guess by the time we got to Battle Creek where we were staying overnight they had forgiven me because we had a good round of squeaky toss in the hotel room before bed. Somebody stuck another of those possible letter bombs under the door in the middle of the night. Lucky I was there to wake TBC and Margi up by growling, but I didn't bark. I slept most of the way coming home today. Great trip, TBC, great trip.

Friday, Sept. 8

I know I have been neglecting my web page, but I had to sign on this afternoon to tell everybody the big news.

I was out yesterday morning with Margi, checking my e mail (aka sniffing every tree between here and the corner) when all of a sudden we saw another Cairn terrier! Apparently he has just moved into the neighbourhood, and is going to live around the corner from us. We barked at each other, but I haven't met him yet. He looks like a nice guy, probably about the same age as I am. I can't wait to meet him. Maybe we can be friends.

When we got home, TBC took me down the new flight of stairs and the boardwalk which he has been building to the lake. I found a small patch of sand, and did some good digging. Then Margi spent quite a while grooming me. We are off to a show in Oakville tomorrow. Tiger Woods is also in Oakville at the Canadian Open. TBC says Tiger didn't do too well yesterday. Maybe we should suggest to him that he come to the dog show instead. I will let you know how things go. Keep your chin up Nancy.

Monday, Sept. 11

Back from a good weekend in Oakville. I won a couple more Best of Breed ribbons, just to keep TBC and Margi happy. I think I did a reasonably good job of keeping my nose out of the grass. Bronte Creek Provincial park, where the show is held is a really neat spot for a show. The Waddells came over to our motel after the show, and Marion let me chew on her for awhile, and I got to meet a couple of younger cairns who were in the show. So all good fun. That will be our last show for quite awhile, since we are doing a home exchange in Colorado next month, and I am really looking forward to that.

Monday, Sept.18

How good anybody say I was a bad dog? Just because I stole Margi's glasses, and hid under the bed with them. She called TBC and he got really mad and started yelling at me and telling me what a bad dog I was which just made me try harder to squeeze further under the bed. I was really careful, and held the glasses very delicately in my mouth as I was squirming around under the bed, and I didn't put a scratch on them. So I WASN'T a bad dog. I was a really good dog.

I have to be nice to TBC now because there are these 3 young girls on the West Coast who say they would like a date with me, expect their mother says they aren't old enough, but Hey. Well, no, I don't think I want to go into this on my web page. Apparently on the West Coast they get to hunt real rabbits and rats and mice and things, so I have to persuade TBC to take a little cross country jaunt when we get back from Colorado. He has taken me down to the lake several times this past week. It has been really rough. I fell in once, and might have been washed out to sea by the undertow, but TBC hauled me out by my lead.

Monday, Sept. 25

Doing my traveling dog thing again. We went down to Kitchener Thursday night so Margi could pipe with the band and stayed at the same motel we had been in last May when Halo and Pippen came to visit. I think we were in the room that they had been in, and I kept looking for them, but they didn't show up. Instead Nancy appeared, and then she and TBC went out for dinner, leaving me in the car, which wasn't very nice. I spent a lot of time waiting in the car, but that's the downside of being a traveling dog. At Georgian College TBC parked where I could watch a monster truck show while he and Margi and Nancy were attending Rob's graduation. After that was the best part of the weekend. We went up to the Lock's cottage with Rob's brother and sister, and Mr. and Mrs. Lock, and I had a wonderful evening playing with all the kids and stealing socks and being chased and rolling around on the floor. I didn't want to come home.

Monday, October 1

Back from a fun weekend at Marlene Eveland's place in St. Thomas. TBC is trying to lay a guilt trip on me for being so anxious to get into her house to play with the other dogs that I couldn't be bothered to say goodbye, but Hey, they were going off and abandoning me for the weekend. I remembered to act as if I was glad to see them back when they picked me up last night. Marlene had a Yorkie and a miniature dachshund and a black Lab staying with her and we all had a great time playing together. Exciting times. John and Nancy and Betty are coming down for Thanksgiving, and then we are off for our home exchange in Colorado. I will try to write something more before we leave, but if you don't hear from me for awhile you will know why. I think I will hide some bones for Samantha, the Cocker Spaniel who is going to be here while we are in Colorado looking for bears.

Friday, October 6

It's all right. I'm not sensitive. I don't care if everybody forgets my birthday. After all, I'm just the dog. They probably have important things on their mind. Why should they care that I am now two years old? So what if I spend hours every day sitting in the front window watching for marauders? So what if I always jump up from a sound sleep just to welcome them home? So what if I stay constantly alert to keep the house safe from squirrels and cats? Do they care that I am always there to keep their chair warm for them when they stand up for a minute? Do they care that I am always up for a game of squeaky toss whenever they feel like it? Do they appreciate the way I make sure they get their daily exercise by taking them for walks? No. No they don't!

What kind of cairn terrier owners would suddenly say at dinner, "Oh no, we forgot it was Hamish's birthday yesterday?"

I think I will just leave that as a rhetorical question, and hope that certain people are feeling pretty ashamed of themselves.

Sunday, October 8

Well, maybe they didn't forget my birthday after all. Nancy arrived Friday night, and then John and Betty arrived yesterday and we had a big celebration last night to celebrate John's birthday AND my birthday. I got a chicken flavoured bone and a stuffed goose which quacks when I bite it. The goose is really fun, and I can grab it by the neck to run with it. I am going to take it to Colorado with me. It is great to have so many people around because there is always somebody to play with me. Keeps me busy getting them all up in the morning, though.