Monday, Nov. 30
Wow! This new house is huge. I have no idea how big, because I've really only had time to explore one room so far, but it seems to go on and on and on. It has been quite a day, so I had better backtrack a bit. The Big Cheese and Margi picked me up just after lunch and after some boring paper work we got in the car and took off down the 401. Dog those semis are big when they thunder past. Lucky I was sitting on Margi's knee.
I was determined not to get car sick, and I didn't, the whole way to Port Stanley. I'm never going to get car sick.
After an hour or so, I got put in my crate in the back seat. I let the two people in the front seat know what I thought of that with some pretty impressive deep stentorian barking. Well, I thought it was pretty impressive, but they just kept on reading more boring stuff that Mrs. K had given them. Nap time. The next thing I knew we were at Port Stanley, and out in the garden. The dead leaves on the ground were pretty scary. I don't think The Big Cheese is terribly bright. He seemed surprised when I walked though the fence, if you could call it a fence. The pickets are an inch and a half apart, after all. It was pretty funny watching him run around the house to head me off. As if I were going anywhere with the rumbling. I don't understand the rumbling, and didn't want to ask, since TBC and Margi seem to take it for granted. It is a deep low pitched constant rumbling thundery type of noise. Are we in an earthquake zone? Or near an active volcano? I dunno. The noise is constant, so it can't be planes or trains or traffic or anything like that. I am going to just keep my mouth shut and try not to worry about it.
Back inside, it was finally time for some dinner, and then another nap in my crate. I don't like to complain, but the rations do seem a bit slim around here. I've been trying to remember about papers, and have been doing pretty well. As a result, I got to sit on the sofa for half an hour to watch Wingfield Farm on TV. Nancy called to ask how I was doing, which was nice of her. I will be looking forward to meeting her in another couple of weeks. Hardly had time yet to miss the others, but I probably will tonight.
Tuesday, Dec. 2
O.K. So first there is the laundry room. As in "On the first day God created the laundry room and everything that was in it". I don't think. If the laundry room is so great why don't Margi and The Big Cheese spend all their time there? I spent a fair bit of time today establishing the fact that determined Cairn terrier puppies can get over a series of plywood barriers of increasing height. And then they shut the door. Does that seem fair to you?
Anyway, it has been an eventful day. I slept like a log last night. Don't think I woke up once between 11:30 and 7:30 A.M. The Big Cheese says I snore. That seems unlikely, but I was pretty tired. That was all in the bedroom, a room which I don't know much about since the lights were out all night, and as soon as I got up I had breakfast (have I mentioned that portions are rather small around here?) downstairs and spent some time exploring the kitchen. Those of you who know our kitchen will realize that there is a problem here. The problem being that the hardwood oak floor is almost the same colour as your's truly. With TBC's propensity for tripping over coffee tables, I forsee problems. Ah well, no one said it was going to be an easy life. Then TBC appeared back from somewhere, and we went out on the deck to take some pictures. That rumbling noise I was talking about is still here, and I still have no idea what it is. TBC says I have a natural propensity for heeling, but until I figure out what that noise is, I figure the closer I stick to him the better. As a matter of fact, we went up to his study for the rest of the morning, and he let me sleep under his computer desk. His foot makes a great chin rest. Got an e mail from Nancy while we were there. She really likes my web page and the pictures. Figured she would.
I am doing really well with the paper thing. In a whole day of peeing and pooping, I only made one small puddle where I wasn't supposed to, and that was on a ratty looking old Oriental rug in the kitchen. By the looks of this rug, it had been worked over by a few puppies before me. Besides, what kind of people have Oriental rugs in their kitchen? I think I have been doing Pretty Doggone Good, especially for a fellow who isn't even supposed to be toilet trained.
Then we were off to the mall, and I didn't mind too much waiting in my crate in the back seat while Margi and TBC went inside to do whatever it is that people do in malls. Then home again to watch Margi stain a door in the hall. The hall is sort of like the kitchen, only lower. I'll try to explain all this later, when I haven't has such a busy day. Staining doors is sort of dull. Untying people's shoelaces while they are working is a lot more fun. Haven't got up the nerve to try it with TBC yet. He would probably step on me.
Supper time. Gotta go.
Wednesday, Dec.3
Hey, I found out what that noise was. And it like blows my mind. Right after lunch we went out on the deck, and I thought I would get in some more practice leaping on leaves, but The Big Cheese scooped me up and we went scrambling down the bank in front of the house. Then we were on a huge sandy beach, with giant thunderous waves washing ashore. And dog, I am not talking ripples on a pond. These waves were big mothers. Let one of those get me, and I would be an all done Hamish Magruder. TBC would probably turn it into a story called Hamish Magruder Goes to Sea
I tried eating zebra mussels, but TBC didn't think that was such a good idea, so we played chase instead. Actually, I was doing most of the chasing. TBC was trying to take pictures of me, and I was trying to catch him. Sorry Nancy, but as a result he only got one of me with sand on my nose. Anyway, the beach is going to be great.
This morning I went to the vet. Again. And I wasn't even sick. The Vet's name was Mary Yett. Mary Yett, Vet. Ha. Haha. Hahahah. Mary Yett, Vet. That kills me. She was OK. I didn't get any shots this time, and she said not to worry about a bit of puppy fat. Puppy fat! Watch it, sweetheart! Actually, I could get to like this lady. Now I get an ounce and a half of kibble three times a day. That's like saying to Jean ValJean, "Now you can have TWO slices of bread with your water". If they would just show me where the kibble is, I could solve this feeding problem in short order. I weigh 3.1 pounds.
On the way home, TBC said, "So I guess we can't get a refund from Mrs. Kettlewell." This occasioned much hilarity. Well, I'm sorry, but I don't think that's very funny. Some comments are just plain tasteless, and that's one of them.
One thing that Dr. Yett said was that tinsel was terrible stuff for puppies. "Chews them up inside" was the phrase she used. And TBC didn't know that! Can you imagine getting a new puppy and not knowing something like that? To tell you the truth, I have no idea what tinsel is, but it's something we are not going to have any of this Christmas. Sorry Nancy, but "Chews you up inside!" Yuck.
Thursday, Dec. 4
A little while ago I said that I would try to give you a better idea of the layout of this place once I got a handle on it, so I will see what I can do. You walk out of the laundry room (unless the door's closed) and you turn left, and you walk a while and then you come to a corner. If you turn left again you walk down a long corridor to a sort of T intersection. Turn left and you will be in front of the refrigerator. I'm not allowed inside, so instead I usually turn right, down another corridor, and then I come to the cupboard where they keep my kibble. Notice how fast I am figuring these things out. There are cupboards lining all these corridors, and they all open if you know how. Anyway continuing on to the end of another long corridor you can turn right again and you will be back where you started from. This is apparently known as an island, and it is about 20 feet all the way around. One of my paces is about one inch, compared to The Big Cheese who has a 24 inch pace. So once around the island is 20X24=480 ctf (cairn terrier feet). Stay with me on this Nancy. We may need some statistical analysis before we are through. If there are 5280 feet in a mile that is equivalent to just about a tenth of a mile, and I probably do it at least 20 times a day. Do you wonder why I sleep like a log at night? If I recorded my daily laps for a week could you give me a standard deviation? Or would a SEM be more appropriate? The SEM always makes the statistics sound tighter. Anyway, armed with this data, you could figure out my daily caloric requirements, and convince TBC to double my daily food ration. Fat chance. Oh well.
Anyway, if you didn't turn left when you left the laundry room but walked straight ahead you would get to a green lattice work barricade on the other side of which is the sofa and the TV and a large expanse of white broadloom. Personally, I think the green lattice work barricade is pretty tacky decorating, but there you are. If you turn right you get to what I call the precipice, which separates the kitchen from the hall. The best way of getting down the precipice is to sit at the top and yip until someone picks you up. The hall isn't very interesting anyway, Two closed doors (don't know where they go) two French doors (usually closed) and an impossibly steep flight of stairs to the bedroom and the study and God knows what else. Getting back up the precipice I can usually manage myself. One paw above my head, then the other paw, and then I pull myself up until I can get a hind leg over the edge and there we are.
Friday, Dec.4
Great piddling puppies, I live with a pair of pyromaniacs! This evening they built a fire right in the middle of the house. There is this big brick thing which I hadn't paid too much attention to next to the TV set. Before supper, TBC piled a bunch of wood in it and started this fire! What if a spark jumps out when I am lying in front of it? What if I had wandered inside it looking for food when a fire started? Apparently it is called a fireplace, and there is another one in the living room. I should have suspected something 5 c.t. wks ago when I first got here and smelled woodsmoke.
So things I have to worry about: 1. Death by starvation
2. Death by immolation
3. Death by drowning
4. Death by being stepped on.
Lucky we cairn terriers are such a fearless, feckless and intrepid breed.
This afternoon TBC and I took Margi up to her bagpiping lesson (whatever that is) and then went Christmas shopping. Or at least TBC did, while I slept in my crate in the back seat. He showed me what he got, but I'm not allowed to talk about it. We also got a whole bunch of pictures of you know who developed, so be prepared for a big picture spread tomorrow.
Saturday, Dec. 5
Apologies to all you people who have retrieved this from the archives without pictures. You missed some really great shots.
Sunday, Dec. 6
Went for my first walk this afternoon, to the end of the driveway and back. I have a spiffy new bright blue collar, and a black lead. I don't quite know why they call it a lead. I guess it is so that I can lead TBC where I want to go, but he does a pretty good job of following me anyway. We got to the end of the driveway and met Jim who invited us over for a drink I decided to stay home, since Jim has 3 cats. Doesn't sound like the sort of house I would care to visit, at least not just yet. After a short while everybody came back here for dinner. "Everybody" did not include the cats, thank goodness. I thought I did a fine job of amusing myself in the kitchen while Margi and Jim and TBC had dinner in the dining room. I did get to play with them before and after dinner.
Monday, Dec. 7
Oh Oh! I have been enrolled in puppy obedience school. Classes start January 2 and continue for 5 weeks. I don't really see that this is necessary, since it would be hard to imagine a more obedient puppy than myself, but I suppose the socialization thing will be fun. There will be 4 or 5 other puppies in the class, all about my age.
Went for a walk as far as the mailbox this morning. If The Big Cheese runs really fast, I chase him, and we get to the mailbox in no time at all. The exercise will be good for him. The mail included a Christmas Card from Mrs. K, and guess who was on the cover. Yup. Me. In a basket with a big Christmas Bow on it. A great picture.
A stuffed sheep, about twice as big as I am, appeared in the kitchen this afternoon. If I back up about 3 feet and leap at it I can knock it over, and bite it savagely on the butt, barking ferociously all the while. This is a great way to get rid of my pent up aggression. Rock climbing is another skill that I am working on, starting with the sofa and whoever happens to be sitting on it.
Tuesday, Dec. 8
Have you ever had one of those nights when nobody loves you?
It started at dinner when I guess I did protest at some length about this policy of not letting me in the dining room. After all, I never pee on the kitchen floor any more, and there was FOOD in the dining room. After about ten minutes of yapping, they went and shut me in the laundry room, and you know what I think about that. Then Margi was hurrying to go out to a stupid tole painting workshop, and closed my paw in the dishwasher door, cruelly injuring it. You might ask why I had my paw in the dishwasher door, but I think the answer is obvious. When I stopped howling, Margi suggested I sit on the sofa beside The Big Cheese, which was basically a good idea, because a couple of minutes later my paw was all better. I started wandering around the sofa, and I guess I was thinking about my paw and I sort of forgot and peed in the middle of the sofa. That got TBC really mad, and he started yelling at me. Hoo Boy. A bad night.
Maybe TBC wasn't that mad, because ten minutes later he let me go to sleep on his lap. I think he has a short memory.
I think I've figured out bagpipe lessons. Margi announced she was going into the living room (where I am not allowed) to practice her bagpipe lessons. Five minutes later the most incredible noise you've ever heard started up. I thought for sure she was killing a pig in there, but when I went and looked through the French doors there was no sign of blood, just Margi with a bag thing stuck to her face. I guess the lessons are to teach her to play more quietly. Funny thing, though. The noise made me think of riding out in the laird's saddlebags for a day of hunting badgers. Now where do you suppose an atavistic thought like that came from? Do badgers make that sort of noise?
Wednesday, Dec. 9
Wow, what an exciting day!
This afternoon TBC announced that we were going outside to take some pictures. I had slept most of the morning, so I got to run around our huge lawn, and peer down at the lake far below, with Margi worrying that I was going to fall over the bank. Doesn't she know what the Highlands of Scotland are like? Anyway, after several minutes of leaping on leaves and chewing on sticks, the dog next door came out to say Hello. He is almost twice my size, but seems like a nice old fellow. His name is Sparky. I bit him on the butt like I do the sheep. He turned around and glared at me, so I lay down on my back and waved my paws in the air. Give way to tonnage, I always say.
Guess what else? One of my old litter mates lives in London now. That is only 30 minutes away. I hope she got as good of a home as I did. Wouldn't it be funny if we met each other in puppy obedience classes? I wonder if she would remember me? That was a long time ago.
Spent most of the evening sleeping on the sofa beside TBC. Then Margi came home from band practice with her piping buddy, Noreen, who made a big fuss over me. In another ten days Nancy will be home. I bet she likes me too.
Thursday, Dec. 10
The highlight of the day was another scramble down the bank to the beach. It is a great place to run, and it is covered with zebra mussel shells. They taste great, and they make this crunching sound, like puppy chow. This really worries The Big Cheese who can't figure out if I am eating them, or if I am just chewing them and spitting them out. Well, I'm not going to tell him. He says that he is going to ask Mary Yett. Mary Yett, Vet, will probably tell him that she doesn't have any patients who are mussels. HaHa! HaHaHa!
So our run on the beach was sort of short, but then we climbed back up the bank, and I got to explore the area beside the deck which is going to be all mine, as soon as TBC has figured out if he has to move the fence pickets. Did I tell you that we got an e mail from a couple of cairns called Geordie and Maggie? They have their own web site too. TBC says that we can put in a link to it as soon as Nancy comes home and shows us how. He really isn't that stupid. He's just too lazy to look up how to do it. He has e mailed the lady who lives with Geordie and Maggie to ask her how far apart the pickets should be. Duh!
Friday, Dec. 11
I peed 3 times in the kitchen this evening. One of them was the fault of The Big Cheese. He tossed me an empty wine box liner while he was making supper, and it was just about the most exciting thing I have ever had to play with. You can pounce on it and chew it and chase it all over the floor, and it makes wonderful crackly sounds. Well, I guess I just got too excited and forgot where I was. Just my luck that TBC was watching me like the proverbial hawk. I think he was worried about that tinsel thing. Anyway, bang, there I was in the laundry room again and when I had finished peeing the wine box liner was gone. What a spoilsport. I dunno about the other two times. TBC and Margi say that if I hadn't been such an exemplary puppy all day I would be in deep trouble.
We spent most of the day Christmas shopping in London, and I slept in my crate in the back seat. They say, Nancy, that every time they start walking away from the car they unconsciously brace themselves for a solvo of furious barking. When it doesn't come, it is sort of like not being shot in the back. I think that refers to the psychological trauma inflicted by somebody who owned them before me. As soon as we got home from shopping, they disappeared into the living room to put another coat of stain on the new cupboards which they want to be finished by the time you arrive for Christmas, so I was left to amuse myself in the kitchen. If I am feeling a little bit unloved and ignored, I expect you to make up for it as soon as you get home.
Got an e mail this morning from my dad, Maxwell Smarty. He lives in Perth. Wonder if he knows the Paveys. Also, and this is pretty exciting, we got a copy of the newsletter of the Cairn terrier Club of Canada, and guess whose picture was on the cover? Me again. I don't know if I can handle all this notoriety.
Saturday, Dec. 12
Weird, dog, really seriously weird. We went out to a farm this afternoon and bought a huge tree. That wasn't so weird, but then we came home and put it in the living room. There were a bunch of other people buying trees at the same time and a dog dressed up in a red coat, so maybe it is some kind of seasonal ritual. TBC and Margi say that we are going to wait to decorate the tree until Nancy comes home. Do you think that "decorate" is a euphemism for peeing? Is there going to be a ceremony where we all stand around and pee on this tree? While singing Christmas carols? Off key? I know it is a weird family, but I think this sounds gross.
I got weighed this morning, and I have gained 7 ounces in the last two weeks. TBC went through one of his arcane calculations, which I won't even try to repeat here, and declared that this seemed to be within the expected parameters. He really does talk that way sometimes. Anyway, the bottom line is that he is going to increase my kibble ration from one and a half ounces 3 times a day to 2 ounces. A full jigger! Glory Hallelujah!
Sunday, Dec. 13
Good luck on your Biology of Sex exam tomorrow Nancy. I don't know what it is exactly but it sounds like a lot of work.
You will be glad to know that I am now perfectly housebroken. At least I haven't made any mistakes in the last 24 hours. Actually, not since Friday night. Let's not discuss ancient history. Of course, I am not allowed in the dining room or the guest bedroom or the living room or your old bedroom or the studio or the master bedroom (unless I am in my crate asleep). The living room is the room I really want to get access to. The new Berber carpet is great for running on. Sometimes they lat me walk through it enroute to the sunroom and I always start to run when I feel that carpet under my feet. I can get great traction on it. If I am fast enough, I can sometimes lure Margi or TBC into a game of chase, and hide under the furniture. Good fun.
I spent the morning with Margi in the sunroom, helping to wax the new cabinets which TBC was installing in the living room. Then out for a romp on the lawn. Life is good. Or at least it was up to that point, when Margi and TBC went out to a big neighbourhood Christmas party. When they go out, they put my sleeping crate inside my exercise crate (the one which is usually in the back seat of the car), and I go in my crate and sleep. I was tired anyway, and when TBC and Margi got home they were pretty jolly. The three of us partyed on. They are thinking of giving a big party of their own when you are here on January 9. That should be interesting.
Monday, Dec. 14
Glad to hear that your exam went well Nancy.
I can't imagine why you think I sounded like a bird on the telephone. I was attacking my sheep at the time. I have certainly never heard a bird whose call sounded like the full throated hunting cry of the Cairn Terrier. TBC and Margi keep standing my sheep back up, and then I have to leap on it and try to dismember it. Probably what Scotland needed 200 years ago was an army of 50,000 fierce Cairn Terriers who would each disembowel a silly sheep every morning. Then there would have been no Highland Clearances, no Scotsmen settling Canada, and no TBC, come to think of it. World History would have been changed.
Helped TBC wrap Christmas presents last night. I got a bit carried way with one of the rolls of paper, but I know you won't mind. No, no, I just chewed it a little bit. There is now this tempting pile of packages in the corner of his study, just waiting to be gnawed on. Maybe if I sneak up on them and start to gnaw really quietly while TBC has his back turned at the computer.
Tuesday, Dec. 15
Yes! Yes! I managed to chew the corner off the oblong package with the red and gold paper on it while TBC was typing. He said he was trying to teach me to write a thank you note for a stuffed dog which I got last week, but you and I know that he was really just playing with his computer and ignoring me. I was sitting on his lap for a while, but he got nervous when I kept reaching for the mouse. How am I supposed to learn to use the computer if I can't chew on the mouse?
We got an e mail from Gracie yesterday. Gracie was my old litter mate at Mrs Ks. Golly, that was a long time ago. She (Gracie, not Mrs K) is going to be in the same puppy obedience class that I am in January. I wonder if I will recognize her.
The lake has been really rough for the last two days. It was making that loud rumbling noise which had puzzled me so much when I first arrived, and after lunch TBC and I went down for a run on the beach. The waves were huge, probably 25 times taller than I am, and would wash in on the sand. One of them caught me, coming up almost to my knees. Lucky I had my collar and lead on. Then we had to run back and forth and back and forth on the dry sand to warm up and dry my paws off. The lake seems to be rough on days when the wind is high. It blows my whiskers, and is laden with all sorts of indescribable smells. My ancestors on the Isle of Skye must have felt the same thing. I think this is a special place.
In the afternoon, I helped Margi sew new drapes for the living room. Her tape measure was dangling off the ironing board, so I pulled it down and tried to roll it up for her. It seemed more determined to roll me up, so I decided I would bury it under my blue mat to keep it safe. Burying things on a hardwood floor isn't easy, and I am afraid that we ended up with a great tangle of tape measure, fake fur mat and cairn terrier.
Good luck on your next exam Nancy, and Happy Birthday.
Wednesday, Dec. 16
Well, I should have suspected something when Margi came downstairs in a floor length tartan skirt with a tartan sash dragging in front of my nose. Reacting quickly, I pounced on the sash and tried to drag her back, but she got out the door anyway. TBC followed, and there I was abandoned again in my exercise crate. Abandoned. Orphaned. Where are the animal rights activists when you need them? So I had all evening to read the morning smile in the Globe which happened to be on the floor of my crate. "The factory of the future will have two employees, a dog and a man. The man will be there to feed the dog; the dog will be there to keep the man from touching the machines." By the time TBC and Margi got home, it was an hour past my dinner time. Dog, was I glad to see them.
Thursday, Dec. 17
I am now a techno dog. Practically a cyborg, with my own microchip implanted under my skin. We were in to see Dr. Yett this morning, and before I knew it, bang, there was a microchip implanted between my shoulder blades, a thermometer implanted in my rear end, a syringe implanted in my butt with my second set of puppy shots, and a syringe full of worm medicine implanted in my throat. Holy cats! Just like ER.
Speaking of cats, Dr. Yett has this huge siamese cat who wanders around terrorizing her other patients. I sat on TBC's knee in the waiting room and watched the beast prowling around. Has Dr. Yett no concept of the danger posed by an animal like that? She also has a gigantic dog, called Blue, who probably was there to protect puppies like me, but what did old Blue do? Old Blue flopped down at Margi's feet to have his ears scratched, leaving the cat to prowl around, eyeing me hungrily.
More Christmas shopping in the afternoon. After my harrowing morning, I was quite happy to sleep in my sleeping crate in the back seat. Oh yeah. I forgot. Dr. Yett says I have buck teeth. Just call me Bugs the cairn. No. Don't. Bad enough that Janiece is now referring to The Big Cheese and the little HAM. Talk about cheap shots!
Went out for a walk after dinner, and there was cold fluffy white stuff all over the ground. It was practically up to my knees, and it was cold. Don't know if I like it or not. Ask me tomorrow. TBC has another big photo shoot planned.
Friday, Dec. 18
Oh Dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
What is there about me and Fridays? I disgraced myself four times today.
1. In the corner of the study.
2. On the Oriental rug in the kitchen.
3. In the hallway outside the guest bedroom.
4. On the broadloom in the bedroom, where I wasn't supposed to be anyway.
The worm medicine made me do it. Just had to pee out those dead worms. The physiology is a bit shaky, there Nancy, but TBC and Margi may have bought it. At least they didn't pounce on me as avidly as they usually do. I think their reflexes are getting slow. It was more like, "Oh Hamish! Did you do that?" Stupid question. Naw, it wasn't me. Must have been some other dog. Looking innocent and wagging your tail helps too.
TBC and I started the day with a good romp in the snow. That's what you call the white stuff. You can bury your nose in it, and toss it up in the air. I left tracks everywhere I went, like those of a giant lemming. When you get here Nancy, we can build a snow dog. Good luck on your last Biology exam. Try not to pee in the exam room.
Saturday, Dec. 19
The Big Cheese grumbles that this file is taking too long to load and he may have to purge the pictures (Purge the Pictures. Oh My Goodness Gracious. That does sound nasty) but, in case you are still in Kingston Nancy, I wanted you to see some more pictures of the things I have been talking about for the last week. And again, for those of you have retrieved the file from the archives, tough Cats.