Jim Geiwitz of Victoria, B.C. asked me a couple of weeks ago to define the word "hoser". I've known a few possible origins of the word for years, but found that I didn't really have a good definition of it.

When I became a Canadian citizen a few years back, I was told I wouldn't be a real Canadian until I learned the meaning of the word "hoser." Everyone I asked seemed to know what it meant, but nobody could define it.

In response to Jim's question, Jack Knox of The Victoria Times Colonist held a contest to find the best definition of "hoser", and the winning entries were published just in time for Canada Day in this article. Interestingly, all of the definitions seem to fit Bob and Doug.

Some of the better ones:

A hoser is someone who types 'c-o-l-o-u-r-s', clicks 'ignore' in spell-check, and feels rebellious. (Gwen Gaddes)

Someone who has a separate section in their wallet for Canadian Tire money. (Gwen Gaddes)

When giving directions, always starts from the beer store. (Keith Dessler)

A hoser drinks a lot of beer and therefore needs to visit the bathroom often, draining the beer with his personal 'hose.' (uncredited)

The article also has a variation on the gas-siphon theory of the word's origins (this time it's an honourary instead of derogatory title), but my favourite definition was "a hoser is someone who wonders what 'hoser' means".