May, 2001 | Weather: Make sure your beer fridge is plugged in, since it's no longer cold enough to keep the beer in your garage cool. | |
Vol. 4, No. 8 |
by Bob McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor
Bob | Good day, welcome to the Hoser. |
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Doug | How's it goin'? |
Bob | Ok, this is a short issue, cause there's so many hockey teams that playoffs go into June, so there's a lot of good games this month, and we don't want to miss them. Good day, eh? |
Doug | Wha? That's it? |
Bob | Yeah, say "good day", there's one on tonight. |
Doug | That's no good. Why didn't we put up an old issue or something. |
Bob | We can't, it has to be new. |
Doug | Then do it later, when there's no game. |
Bob | We have a deadline, too. And this is it. |
Doug | Talk about cheezwiz! |
SFX | doorbell rings |
Bob | Ok, there's our pizza. Finish the show while I pay for it. |
Doug | Sounds like a good deal to me. |
Bob | Hoser. (leaves) |
Doug | Ok, like, is he gone? |
You | Yeah. |
Doug | Good. Welcome to the Doug McKenzie Show, starring me, Doug McKenzie. We have a big show today, and not a lot of time, so I gotta talk fast. |
Bob | (returning) Hey, hoser. |
Doug | What? |
Bob | Gimme a fiver. (reaches out hand) |
Doug | Ok. (slaps Bob's hand) |
Bob | I didn't say "gimme five", you hoser! I said "gimme a fiver"! |
Doug | SNORK! Sorry, eh? Here you are, hosehead. But now I get half the pizza. |
Bob | You do not. |
Doug | (tries to grab money) Ok, I want my money back, then! |
Bob | Take off. Finish the show. (leaves) |
Doug | Ok, welcome back to the show. That was my first guest, Bob McKenzie. He's a big hoser, as you could probably tell by looking at him. |
You | I can't see either of you. This is a web page. |
Doug | Oh, yeah. Well, imagine Bob with a stunned look on his face... |
You | I can't imagine Bob without a stunned look on his face. |
Doug | Good one, eh? |
You | I can't imagine you without a stunned look on your face, either. |
Doug | Hey, take off! |
Bob | (returning with pizza) Hey, what're you doin'? |
Doug | I'm talking to our readers. |
Bob | You're supposed to close the show! C'mon, we still gotta buy beer before the beer store closes! |
Doug | You can go get the beer. I'll stay here with the pizza. |
Bob | No way, eh? I'm takin' the pizza with me. |
Doug | Hoser. |
Bob | Hey, reader. |
You | What? |
Bob | What did Doug say about me? |
You | He said you have a stunned look on your face. |
Bob | Wha? He's the one with the stunned look on his face! |
You | That's what I said! |
Doug | Take off, you hosers! |
The server with the back issues isn't up for the summer, so, like, you should have saved them or something. They'll be back, uh, when we go back to our fast connection. The links are on the back issues page, but they won't go anywhere. Sorry for all of you using them to play drinking games with, eh?
Good day, eh? NBC is still showing SCTV in the former "Later" timeslot, which is usually Monday to Thursday, 1:35am to 2:05am. Check your listings, and find out when it's on. Who knows what episodes will be on, but maybe we'll be there, eh? The Comedy Network in Canada is also showing the syndicated episodes of SCTV, and maybe sometimes two different ones a day. Maybe they're in order, too. Check out the SCTV page and the SCTV News page for more info, eh?
CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION. |
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The Hoser |
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BobNET NewsMy main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie. |
Contact BobSend me your questions or comments about anything on the site to codorjan@gmail.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about. |
Copyright ©1997-2001 Chris "Bob" Odorjan