February, 2001 | Weather: It's real cold in February, so wear gloves so your hands don't get frozen when you're holding a cold beer. | |
Vol. 4, No. 5 |
by Doug McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Bob McKenzie, the other Editor
Bob | Good day, welcome to the Hoser. |
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Doug | How's it goin', eh? |
Bob | This month our topic is, uh, groundhogs. |
Doug | What? Why? |
Bob | Um. Cause it's February. |
Doug | It is? |
Bob | Yeah. It was January, now it's February. |
Doug | Geez. I must have slept through most of January, eh? |
Bob | Still recovering from the New Year's hangover? |
Doug | Yeah. |
Bob | Ok! Anyway, the topic this month is groundhogs. |
Doug | Didn't we do that one already? |
Bob | No. Maybe we talked about it, but I don't think it's ever been our topic. |
Doug | You sure, hoser? |
Bob | Yeah! Well, not really, eh? |
Doug | I thought not! |
Bob | Geez. Back to our topic. Groundhogs. |
Doug | Hand me a beer, will ya? |
Bob | More beer. What are you? The beerhog? (hands beer to Doug) |
Doug | Yeah. Ok, eh? (opens beer) |
Bob | Look at this! I've got, like, 2 empties in front of me. And you've got, uh, two and four is six. Six empties. And you're drinking another one! You are a beerhog! |
Doug | Take off! I'm just a little thirsty, eh? (takes swig) |
Bob | At this rate, I'm gonna have to open a new case! |
Doug | No need to get all uppity about it. You want this one? (hands beer back to Bob) |
Bob | No way, eh? You already drank from it! |
Doug | Well, if that's the way you feel about it... (tips head back and chugs beer, emptying the bottle) |
Bob | Holy. Um. Anyway, what was the topic? |
Doug | Urp. That was a beauty. |
Bob | Hey. |
Doug | What? |
Bob | I asked you a question. |
Doug | Oh. Uh, beerhog. |
Bob | No, take off. Groundhogs. |
Doug | Yeah, groundhogs. |
Bob | So anyway, the topic this month is groundhogs. |
Doug | I don't think we have space. |
Bob | Sure we do. Groundhogs live in the ground all winter, and only come out on February 2nd. |
Doug | Oh, good timing. This page'll be up for a whole month, and you're talking about the second day. |
Bob | Well, it's a short month. |
Doug | Um. Ok, good one! |
Bob | Yeah, so the groundhog comes out, sees his shadow, and then there's another six weeks of winter. Good day. |
Doug | Wait! What happens if he doesn't see his shadow? |
Bob | Then it's only another month and a half of winter. |
Doug | Take off! They're the same thing! |
Bob | I was making a joke. |
Doug | Hoser. What's it really mean? |
Bob | I don't know. Maybe we can research that for a future topic. |
Doug | Right. You want me to open this case? |
Bob | Yeah, forget the groundhog. Gimme a beer. |
Doug | Ok, eh? (hands Bob a new beer) |
Ok, eh? The back issues are up, but the really early ones aren't yet. We know where they are, just that we have to return the empties that are stacked on top of them first.
Good day, eh? NBC is showing SCTV in the former "Later" timeslot, which is usually Monday to Thursday, 1:35am to 2:05am. Check your listings, and find out when it's on. Who knows what episodes will be on, but maybe we'll be there, eh? The Comedy Network in Canada is still showing the syndicated episodes of SCTV, and maybe sometimes two different ones a day. Maybe they're in order, too. Check out the SCTV page and the SCTV News page for more info, eh?
CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION. |
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The Hoser |
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BobNET NewsMy main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie. |
Contact BobSend me your questions or comments about anything on the site to codorjan@gmail.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about. |
Copyright ©1997-2001 Chris "Bob" Odorjan