July, 1999 | Weather: Drink beer and eat back bacon to celebrate Canada Day. We celebrate it every day. | |
Vol. 2, No. 10 |
by Bob McKenzie, Editor
-- I edited too, eh! -- Doug McKenzie, the other Editor
Bob | Okay, good day, welcome to the Hoser. |
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Doug | How's it goin', eh? |
Bob | Since this is a long topic, we don't have a lot of space, eh? Go, hoser. |
Doug | Be quiet, eh? I got a lot of talking to do! |
Bob | I was, I said go, eh? |
Doug | Shut up, eh? Like, you're blowin' the whole issue! |
Bob | Ok, I'll be quiet, then. |
Doug | SHH! Take off! |
Bob | You take off! |
Doug | Stop talking! |
Bob | Ok. |
Doug | You didn't stop! |
Bob | Oh, look what you did. We're almost out of space. |
Doug | Ok, sorry folks. Start over. |
Bob | We don't have enough space left. Just say part of the topic. |
Doug | Ok. Today the topic is what to do with, like, your snowshoes and stuff in the summer. Go, hosehead! |
Bob | Wha? |
Doug | Now you're blowin' the issue. List the things we use in the winter, and I'll tell you what to do in the summer. |
Bob | Ok, then. How 'bout snowshoes? |
Doug | Yeah, we use them as tennis rackets. |
Bob | But we hardly ever play tennis, hoser. |
Doug | That's cause we use our tennis rackets as snowshoes. Next one, eh? |
Bob | Ok, boots. |
Doug | Put your boots on when you're walking through mud, or you'll sink. |
Bob | What if there's no mud? |
Doug | Uh, put your snow chains on them for better traction on the dry ground. Next one, hoser. |
Bob | What about tuques and gloves? |
Doug | I'm wearing my tuque, eh? |
Bob | I use my snowmobile gloves when I'm makin' back bacon, so I don't burn my hands. That reminds me, what about snowmobiles? This is a quiz for Doug. |
Doug | Uh... |
Bob | I knew it! You're stuck, eh? |
Doug | Take off, you're slowin' down the issue! |
Bob | You were the one who wrecked it in the first place. |
Doug | Well, now I know what I'm doing with our snowmobile, eh? |
Bob | What's that, you nobk? |
Doug | I'm gonna use it to steamroller you! |
Bob | Take off! That's The Hoser for this month, good day. |
Doug | Good day, eh? |
Howzit goin'? They'll be showing SCTV in Canada on The Comedy Network at least until November, eh, and sometimes on NBC in the USA, too. Go to the SCTV page for more information, eh?
Ok, we've got more info on our movie, eh? We start our own brewing company, so we're calling it Home Brew, eh? And, we're gonna start filming this month in Toronto, eh? So, here's the Canoe article, and there's always info on alt.tv.sctv, eh?
CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATION THIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION. |
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The Hoser |
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BobNET NewsMy main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie. |
Contact BobSend me your questions or comments about anything on the site to codorjan@gmail.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about. |
Copyright ©1997-1999 Chris "Bob" Odorjan